Monthly Archives: October 2013

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Provoking Points on Leadership?

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Provoking Points on Leadership - 1The Point of Leadership — After attending a very informative, thought provoking, and inspirational leadership conference at Saddleback Church I wanted to share a few insights.

Considering our current state of leadership there is no doubt all of us have at one point or another ask, maybe not in such a pointed way…but what is the point of leadership? In Genesis 20, Abraham refused to follow God’s promptings when he mislead Abimelech king of Gerar into believing Sarah was his sister instead of his wife. Then later in Genesis 22: 1- 19, God offered Abraham another opportunity to hear His words when he asked Abraham to offer his son up as a sacrifice, here Abraham complied. These are brought to mind to help us understand that we all have an opportunity to listen to the spirit of leadership or refuse it.

Rembrandt Harmensz. van Rijn 079In Number 33: 2-4, we read where God said “the map of leadership I have carefully laid before you”;

At the Lord’s command Moses recorded the stages in their journey. This is their journey by stages:  The Israelites set out from Rameses on the fifteenth day of the first month, the day after the Passover. They marched out defiantly in full view of all the Egyptians, who were burying all their firstborn, whom the Lord had struck down among them; for the Lord had brought judgment on their gods.

Taking into account our leadership values in the face of today’s political correct society, how do we manage the conflict that arises within us from the obvious erosion of leadership values?

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Leading Silently

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Leading Silently - 1I was approached about this article in one of Kevin’s typical application of the hint with a hammer kind of ways. So I will attempt to apply my spin on this topic like I believe he wants it.

I think silent leadership requires several things. Obviously one is dedicated followers and leaders. But the others may not be so obvious. Additionally it requires constant interaction, shared experiences and maybe most importantly, trust in each other.

Where I feel like I gained the majority of my leadership experience, the military, the men I followed and that followed me, were inseparable. What I mean by this is, when we ate, we ate together, when we played, we played together, when we exercised, we did it together, when we trained, we trained together. So over the course of years, we began to understand each other’s tendencies. We were also taught a pretty extensive group of hand signals that allowed us to communicate, silently. When my commanding officer, or team leader, pointed at me, and gave me a closed hand then a one finger held up, I knew I was responsible for securing the first opening on the A side of the building. If he stopped, we stopped, if went to knee we went to a knee. This required us to pay attention to our leader.

Iraqi instructors take the reins at KMTBOver the course of a couple of years and some shared experiences in some of the most inhospitable places in the world, what this gained us was an unbelievable level of trust in each other. It is the kind of trust a child has in a parent, or I believe we should have in Christ. What I mean by this is, at some point, the leadership becomes organic and your followers make the right choices without your interaction at all.

Maybe this is the crux of true leadership — the ability to lead by example when your examples are not obvious. I was once told by a friend of mine, who is a teacher, that the most difficult part of his job was that he was nurturing a flower he may never see bloom.

As a silent leader are we preparing followers to operate in our own image when we are gone as someone else did for us?

What kind of hand signals do have for your followers?

Are you spending the time with those important members of your team?

Photo credit: Gabriela Ruellan / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Photo credit: United States Forces – Iraq (Inactive) / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

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Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche

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Real Men Don't Eat Quiche - 1Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche was a a bestselling tongue-in-cheek book satirizing stereotypes of masculinity very popular that was published the year that my wife and I got married. I confess that I wasn’t much of a reader at that time. So, my only real exposure to the book was from pop culture and from listening to what commentators and other pundits had to say about that book.

The book was an attempt to refer to or suggest that a man who is a dilettante, a trend-chaser, an over-anxious conformist to fashionable forms of “lifestyle”, and socially correct behaviors and opinions, one who lacks the traditional masculine virtue of tough self-assurance is therefore NOT a real man. The book’s humor derives its’ message from the fears and confusion of contemporary 1980s middle-class men about how they ought to behave, after a decade of various forms of feminist critique on traditional male roles and beliefs. The book was on the New York Times Best Seller list for 55 weeks, and sold over 1.6 million copies at the time.

Real Men Don't Eat Quiche - 2It is a shame that that book had to be written. It never would have been written had there not been a glaring blemish on traditional manhood and manly behavior. Recently we have seen a spate of more books that are an “encouragement” to men to return to some man’s view of what a man really is.

I will not take this opportunity to debate the merits of either book. But I will offer this thought as some additional fodder for consideration.

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Cherishable or Perishable?

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Cherishable or Perishable - 1What are you trying to build in your organization or in your home? Are you trying to build something that will perish and will not last? Or are you building something that you and those around you will cherish for the rest of their lives?

There are several verses in Scripture that I could point to at this point. But I believe that the words and thoughts that I will share with you transcend because they are based in immutable truths. And the truth is that what we build with quality and upon good foundations is what is most valuable and will last the longest. And those become the things that we truly cherish.

What does it mean to build cherishable and not perishable? I believe it starts with a value system that values memories over material. In other words, it is a value system that would emphasize shared experiences over individual experiences. It is a value system that a person is worth more than the collective value of their “stuff”.

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“Servant” Leadership in Business

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Servant Leadership - 1First, let me say how honored, and humbled I am, to be asked to blog for Leadership Voices. When asked to speak or write, I am always shocked that someone would want my opinion, and always afraid that I might not be worthy of the task. I do however feel very passionate about “servant” leadership, so I was excited when asked to share my thoughts on this topic, and promise I will try not to go off on any “rants”.

I think we need to define management in the context of business, and what makes it different than leadership. I always like to say, “We lead people, we manage things”. If you are trying to manage someone, you are trying to control them to get what you what you need or want. This is not very conducive to a long term growth of the employee, which means their value to the organization will stagnate. This also tends to impede their ability to contribute to the health and growth of the company by making them more of a task master instead of a thinker. It creates someone waiting to be told what to do, and how to do it, not someone who is always looking for ways to improve the company, or adding value through their unique understanding of the business. No one wants to be treated like a number, or a tool, they want to be respected, and valued.

Servant Leadership - 2Leadership means doing and saying the hard things. It means doing the right thing, no matter what. It means setting a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly example. It means teaching. It is the ability to bring out the greatness in others, and be willing to not take credit for doing so. Leadership ultimately means putting others before yourself, for the good of the whole, not for your ego. Notice I have not used the word servant yet? I think it is kind of redundant when put in front of leadership. Leadership is serving by its very nature. Every leader serves those whom they lead. Why else would you need a leader?

The biggest mistake I see young leaders make in business, is

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Leadership Sacrifices

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Leadership Sacrifices - 1I believe that we have all used this forum to provide a look at all of the great things about being a leader. But I have been thinking about all of the things a great leader may have to give up? We will cover Christ and His ultimate sacrifice shortly. Let’s talk about this more locally, or directly first.

As leaders in our home, what do we have to go without? Maybe we don’t go without anything now. But I bet at some point in your life you either worked some overtime, did not buy something you wanted or let your family do something without you, just so you could afford to let them do it. So I ask you; Does this make you a good leader in your home?

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Accountability: The Single Man and Self Control

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post_traumatic_stress_disorder_soldiers_iraq-6285

Many conversations of accountability focus strongly on the married man.   Unfortunately, the profile on which we build our foundation comes from the perspective of an established family man.  I have done many single men a disservice by not providing them a foundation on which to stand.  Hopefully, I can provide a challenge to the single man with a perspective for single-minded accountability.

Every man needs accountability.  When I say every man…that includes single men.  I personally believe single men need it now more than ever.  I observe young single men who believe they know it all and say some of the stupidest things in mixed company.  They treat their women as buddies instead of delicate flowers.  Augh!   This is something I never understood.  My Father raised me differently.  I never spoke ill of the opposite sex.  I always treated women with respect and honor.  So Single men…if you will listen up I am going to tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear.

So who am I accountable to?  First and foremost, you are accountable to the ultimate power in the universe.  God.  The Creator of the universe.  Nothing has changed here…same message.  He brought you into this world…He can take you out.

You are in-experienced, immature, and, candidly, horny.  You are not entitled to damage single women because you can’t control yourself with her or with porn.

Second, if you are single,  you are accountable to self-control and your future spouse.  This is key.  You are not married.  You need to practice self-control.  As a young single male…you are already behind the curve.  How?  You are in-experienced, immature, and, candidly, horny.  You are not entitled to damage single women because you are unwilling to or won’t control yourself with her or with porn.  If you are in a relationship, you treat that woman with respect and honor.  You don’t criticize her beautiful looks and you don’t embarrass her in public by announcing her flaws and shortcomings.  Grow up, man.  Scratching, spitting, cursing, belching, farting, and fist bumping are all guy things and she is not expecting that from you.   Control your tongue, don’t curse in front of her and don’t share crude jokes in her presence.  She does not desire that from you.  She is looking for a strong man, a future husband, and future father who chooses his words thoughtfully.  She needs the reassurance you can nurture a child she gives you when you and her become one.

Your lack of commitment is cowardice.  Plain and simple.  And she is foolish to stay with you in hopes you will grow a pair and commit.  But this is on you.  Not her.  Your actions are dictating the relationship and you should be ashamed.  Let’s table that for another day…

Third, practice what I preach.  Find a group of men.  I have been accountable to a group of three men for over 13 years.  I call them my 300. I am 100% invested in their lives and they in mine.  Thus 300!  These men have my back and I have theirs.

As a young single man, you need to find a group of men and meet.  I recommend they be your peers and be somewhat in your same season of life, age, and like-minded interests.   Find men that make you a better man.  Don’t hang out with men that wake up naked with women they don’t know.  Because you will learn to compromise yourself in every aspect of your life and sadly laugh it off.

Find a Grey Haired.  You need to find a grey haired man to mentor you.  As a young man, you may not rely so much on your parents’ advise.  Truth is at your age the hardest thing is to admit that your parents are right about the years of unwanted advice they bestowed upon you.  So what most young men do is not ask for advice from their parents.  Find a Grey Hair and ask them for advice.  Then practice what they preach.  You see they have navigated the foxholes in the battlefield of life…and they can show the path of least resistance.

Listen, I have less hair than you and what remains is grey…your job is to shut up, listen, and thank me for looking out for your sorry butt. 

Most importantly, be COACH-able.  Nothing irks me more, when I provide simple advice to a young colleague on the ways of the world. Instead of a thoughtful pause of reflection, I get a “I know it all” rebuttal.  Or the young buck gets offended because his ego can’t take criticism.  Really? Listen, I have less hair than you and what remains is grey…your job is to shut up, listen, and thank me for looking out for your sorry butt.  I took the time to notice a flaw, an imperfection, a chink in your armor that can be corrected. Then I man’d up and brought it to your attention.  At least, consider it.   But don’t dismiss it.

For the most part, the young single men I have the privilege to ride with on patrol are amazing.  I am surrounded by sensible young men with a regard to better themselves everyday.  I am part of a brotherhood.  These men I would take a bullet for.

To the single man, be strong and self controlled.  You got this!

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The Evolution of a Leader

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Evolution of Leadership - 1There must be hundreds of books on leadership published each year and there is no shortage of those that focus on the subject within the context of ministry.  It seems like I have read them all, but surely I have not.  What strikes me about those volumes that I have read is that they all resonate with the same message.  Underneath it all, they say the same thing.  Christian leadership, first and foremost is Christ-like.  Now doesn’t that sound absurdly obvious?  Yet somehow, in all my reading and research, my study of the subject, I missed that basic point and I had even considered myself a student of leadership.

Evolution of Leadership - 2With my extensive military background, my discovered spiritual gifts, and the passion with which I considered the topic, I was a person informed in the art and science of leading others.  I have received Professional Military Education, trained in the Reserve Officer’s Training Corps, and attended at least five other specific military schools geared to developing the student as a leader.  I had command over troops and equipment and had executed significant military operations notably well, yet the concept of servant leadership was unknown to me.

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Foundational Fathers

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Foundational Fathers - 1We have taken a little bit of a political turn lately here at LeadershipVoices and I think that was important and I think that folks were expressing deep concerns about the state of our culture and society.  The events of the last 2 weeks have pointed to a dramatic lack of leadership across the board.

So, today want to step back from some of the thoughts expressed recently and go back to the foundation of society once again. And for me, that foundation is the home and the key to much of it is the role that we as fathers have in establishing that home with a firm foundation.

And in that vein, I would offer up today seven things that fathers can do to be “Foundational Fathers”. The seven things that I offer today are common characteristics of fathers who are foundational to their families and therefore foundational to their society:

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George Washington on Leadership

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George Washington on Leadership - 1We have studied George Washington since first grade.  We think we know a lot about him. But I am not sure that what we think we know is really historically accurate. I hope that there is more to George Washington than that silver dollar and that cherry tree.

Washington was many things. And he was indeed a leader. He was the ideal man to lead the newly formed American Continental Army and then later to lead the newly formed United States as the nation’s first president. He developed his leadership skills from an early age and a distinguished military career. He further honed them as a business man and entrepreneur. Those leadership skills and abilities made him the wealthiest man in America by many calculations. And his leadership was ultimately tested in his later military career as he took a rag-tag militia and forced the greatest military in the world into surrender. But his testing and trials were not over as the nation elected him to be the very first president.

What can we learn from Washington’s leadership style and skills? Several things come to mind for me today. Consider the following.

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