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Do it, ditch it, or delegate it

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Do it, ditch it or delegate it - 1Here is one of those great little maxims that I heard many years ago and I solemnly avowed and affirmed that I would live by it until my dying days.

But, as I look back on it and examine how well I adhered to that little maxim . . .  It seems like not so much.

The principle expressed in this pithy little statement is this.

When presented with a choice, a document, a task or a decision – handle it immediately in one of the following manners.

  1. Do it! — That sounds simple enough.  But procrastination is something that comes naturally to the human species.  This is especially true for those choices or tasks that have particularly unpleasant undertones.
  2. Ditch it! — This also sounds simple.  But many of us suffer from bouts of indecision.  We often times cannot make up our minds that this just isn’t important to the overall goals and therefore should be jettisoned for the more important tasks.
  3. Delegate it! — Another simple sounding thing.  For those of us who have a staff that we can actually delegate something to, we often choose to handle the task ourselves.

Do it, ditch it or delegate it - 3So, what are the leadership implications of this little phrase?

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Our Son Needs Us To Be A Control Point – Week 5

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Needs - Week 5 - 1Have you ever gone “Orienteering”? For those of you unfamiliar with Orienteering, I offer the following definition as found in Wikipedia:

Orienteering is a family of sports that requires navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain, and normally moving at speed. Participants are given a topographical map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points. Originally a training exercise in land navigation for military officers, orienteering has developed many variations. (Emphasis added by me.)

Ok, so what is a “Control Point”? I am glad you asked. Consider the following, also from Wikipedia:

A control point (CP, also control and checkpoint) is a marked waypoint used in orienteering and related sports such as rogaining and adventure racing. It is located in the competition area; marked both on an orienteering map and in the terrain; and described on a control description sheet. The control point must be identifiable on the map and on the ground. A control point has three components: a high visibility item, known as a flag or kite; an identifier, known as a control code; and a recording mechanism for contestants to record proof that they visited the control point.

OK, I could write for a week on the implications of the information above. But I will resist. Rather, I will stick to a specific application of the principle.  So, just what is the principle here?

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Grooming Someone to Take Over the Team – Or Start Their Own

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Grroming Someone to Take Over - 1I know that this title may be a little vague. But it has occurred to me that at some point in the life or career of a leader, there may come a time they will need to be relieved, so to speak. Now the kind of relief I am speaking of is not discontinuing your leadership, it is maybe taking a back seat in the family to a son, maybe it is grooming a son in law to take your daughter’s hand, or maybe it is a promotion in your organization or team.

As I continually struggle internally with this I realize how difficult it is for a leader to change roles. But do they really?

It seems to me even as I write this article, that we don’t stop leading, but rather we change the method or the lesson. I will get back to that in a minute. First, let’s talk about the opportunities and who we may “relinquish” our leadership too.

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Crucible of Crisis

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Crucible of Crisis - 1Who likes a crisis?  Who thrives in a crisis environment? Who loves conflict and turmoil?

I know some have suggested that you should never waste a good crisis.  But that is the subject of another topic and another time.  That line of thinking may even be worthy of a “Rant” from fellow blogger, Rene Rivera.  But I would like to consider what can come from crisis and how it may impact your leadership.

It seems to me that perhaps we avoid crises to our own personal and leadership development detriment. I would submit to you that sometimes great leaders emerge and are developed in the crucible of crisis.

Does that mean that as leaders we should always seek out crisis situations?

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Rant-The Weiner Warning

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rant

Anthony Weiner. His name says it all. Let me be very clear. Anthony is not a man. And he is a poor excuse for a leader. How he got elected much less married puzzles me? But men (and women) can be deceptive and present themselves better than they really are.

Anthony Weiner is a brat. He is a digital flasher. If the internet didn’t exist, he would be wearing a raincoat in a public place opening it up to any unsuspecting victim.  He is a decadent pervert. This poor excuse of a man is so intoxicated with himself and so proud of his genitals he must present them in digital format to women who are not his wife. Was that too harsh? Well maybe we as men and leaders need to call deviant behavior what it is: shameful, decadent, and dangerous.

We use soft words to describe pretty sordid behavior because it’s socially acceptable and palatable on the tongue. We call what he did sexting.  And it is socially acceptable.

For example, if I say

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Our Daughters Need Us To Comfort Them – Week 4

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Needs - Week 4 - 1What would be your first words to your daughter if …

… she lost the new smartphone that you just bought for her?

… she caused a fender-bender?

… she got a ticket for texting while driving?

… she was caught skipping school to hang out with her boyfriend?

What would your first thoughts be? What would your first actual words be to her? Would they be comforting words, or words of anger and judgment?

Needs - Week 4 - 3Throughout history there is tons of anecdotal evidence to suggest that our daughters do not feel they can communicate with their fathers. They are afraid of what their father may say or do. They wonder; Will he get red-faced and blow up? Have they observed their father respond in less than positive ways when their mother puts a dent in the car while pulling into the garage?

Stay with me here. I am not suggesting that as fathers we should relax our values or our standards. And car repairs are not cheap. (That is why we have car insurance, right?) But sometimes the greater good is to be a comforting and consoling father to a daughter who is hurting – even if it is because of her own poor choices.

So, Mr. Tough Guy, how do we do that? How do we demonstrate comfort and compassion?

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God and Dr. Pepper

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God and Dr. Pepper - 4

Photo credit: VeldaZ / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

Last night at the dinner table my five- and three-year-old daughters asked me an important question:

“Daddy, may I have a drink of your drink please?”

As was the case last night as most nights, I was drinking a Dr. Pepper, and as was the case with my answer last night as most nights, I said:

“Okay, but only a sip.”

I am a fifth generation Texan. Being a Texan, a Dr. Pepper addiction, it seems to me, is my God-given birthright. And truth be told, I am addicted to the stuff. That’s not hyperbole… I really am addicted. When I lived in Seattle for a time, my friends there made dawg-fun of me for not drinking coffee, being as it is that Seattle is the Mecca to which caffeine addicts the world over pour out three cups daily. Not me. I can’t stand the stuff. Tastes like burnt – I dunno – burnt something.

Dr. Pepper? That’s different. I love my caffeine cold and sweet, hopefully over some Sonic pellet ice, and in the “Route” 44 ounce variety, please. Dr. Pepper is 23 flavors of home-grown, Waco Texas, happiness in a cup, and I love it. No, really. I *love* it.

And you know what happens to me when I don’t get my morning Dr. Pepper?

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Team Decision-Making — Part 2

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Team Decision-Making - Part 2 -1The Challenge of Team Decisions

Using team input is challenging, and it takes preparation and time. As the saying goes, “If you put three people together in a room, you’ll probably get four ideas”. People often see issues differently, and they all have different experiences, values, personalities, styles, and needs. Team decision-making should therefore be used when you want to get participation and achieve agreement.

When time is of the essence, a good decision is one that’s made quickly. That doesn’t usually happen with full team decision-making. And when one or two people have the necessary expertise to make the decision, it doesn’t make sense to involve the whole team, the leaders provide most of the input and make the final choice anyway.

However, where the situation is complex, consequences are significant, commitment and buy-in are important, and where team members can work together maturely, team decision-making is often best.

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Manday-Continuing Proverbs 31 Verse 2

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screwing

Cartoon: Watterson, Bill. “Calvin and Hobbes.” Comic Strip. facebook.com/dailycalvinhobbes 12 July 2013.

How many of you had parents?  Silly question…but I thought I would start off with that little ice breaker.

A couple of weeks ago while teaching on Proverbs, I asked the question-If you were to pass away today, what nugget of wisdom would you want your child to have learned from you?

The mother of King Lemuel asked the same question as she gave advise to her son, the King.  The second verse of the much forgotten first nine verses of Proverbs 31 reads:

What [should I say], my son?     What, son of my womb?     What, son of my vows?

Like every parent, the King’s mother speaks/writes like one concerned with what to tell him…with what to share with him.  I can feel the anguish of having to choose words carefully.  And the prose is filled with concern.

I have two years before my oldest leaves our home and embarks on his own life.  The next two years “concern” me.  I am choosing my words carefully when I instruct and correct him.  I remember presenting him to the church body when he was months old.  I vowed to raise him to love God with all his heart, soul, and mind.  I remember my vow daily.  I promised to teach my oldest to live his life for God.  Remember the name Lemuel meant “for God”.  Devoted to God.  I learned from commentaries that Solomon was also called Jedidah meaning “of the Lord”.  So what vow are we talking about?  What devotion?  The commandment from Deuteronomy 6:4-7.

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Parents teach your children what is good.  No matter their station in life, everyone needs instruction.  Kings the most.  Men the most…husbands the most…fathers the most.  Because children may recall all the good and bad teaching.

I remember thinking “Oh great…one day my kid is going to show up on Oprah and point at me and blame me for all his issues.”  Probably.

I lean toward Matt Chandler’s assessment.

“We’re just gathering all the spiritual kindling we possibly can around our kids and begging God to ignite their souls for Him”.

Phew.  Amen.