Posted on

Our Sons Need to Know How to Love – Week 3

by

Needs - Week 3 - 1We need to cultivate an awareness and culture of love—or gentleness and kindness toward others—in our sons.  He needs you to show him how to love.

As fathers, we sometimes fail to affirm our sons. Why? Maybe we fail because it is too uncomfortable for us. Maybe we fail because we were not affirmed as young children and young men by our own fathers. It is easy to see how bad habits follow along generational lines. Maybe it is time to create some new patterns of behavior and pass them along to our sons.

We are the closest resource (for good or bad) that our sons have that will have as an example of what it is to love and demonstrate love to those around him. It is up to us to teach them that manly love is positive, gentle, giving and demonstrable in tangible ways to the objects of our love.

Good communication is one of the keys to understanding and communicating love. It is our responsibility to make communication a high priority so that we can teach our sons by example and through practice. Our sons should have heard from our lips that we love them. They should also have heard from our lips words of love and affirmation to the rest of the family. Especially, they should hear us say that to the mother of our children. They should hear us tell her that we love her on a daily basis.

But communicating love is a two-way street.

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

“Thinking Gray” and “Listening Gray”

by

This one is going to rattle some folk’s cages. And that is OK with me. Part of the purpose of LeadershipVoices is to spur us to think in ways that we don’t always naturally think.

Thinking Gray - 1In 2001, Steven B. Sample wrote a book entitled, The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership. I must confess I liked it just based upon the title. I mean, who doesn’t have a little “contrarian” in them? Steven Sample was the president of the State University of New York at Buffalo. And he is an accomplished leader in many ways. He was the president of the University of Southern California up until he resigned to pursue other interests in 2010.

In The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership, Sample posits several things. He posits first of all that contrarian leaders are great leaders. While others see black and white, contrarian leaders maintain their intellectual independence and see many different shades between the extremes of stark black and stark white. He further states that contrarian leaders are those who can conceptualize a wide range of ideas, thus, making them more creative and intellectually open to solutions to the problems that plague them.

But here is the thing that challenges me about Sample’s assertions. Sample says that the leader who “thinks gray” must also learn to “listen gray”. In other words, we must learn to listen for nuance and we should avoid the fad ideas and also avoid jumping to conclusions before we have all of the input.

So what is the leadership principle here?

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Team Decision-Making – Part 1

by

Is a consensus necessary when making team decisions?

Team Decision-Making - Part 1 -1While many of the decisions we make on a daily basis are quite simple, some are not. These decisions may involve gathering a huge amount of information, exploring many different ideas, and drawing on other peoples experience. The consequences of the right or wrong decision may be profound for the team, the organization and the team leader.

So, should leaders be decisive, think the issues through on their own, and take firm action? In some cases, no, in some cases, yes.

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Thermometer vs. Thermostat Leaders

by

Driving to work this morning and listening to the news I was again reminded of the need for real leadership in our culture today. And nowhere is that more pronounced that in our homes.

Too many of us have been thermometers instead of thermostats. What does that mean, you ask? Well, take a look at those two items. One reflects or measures the environment and the other influences or changes the environment.

Which one are you?

ThermometerAre you a thermometer? Do you simply reflect or monitor the situation around you in your home? To be sure, a thermometer is a valuable item. For instance, it can help us determine when a child is sick. I had an opportunity to use one this week-end on a feverish little child. Although I didn’t need the thermometer to tell me she had a fever. It was very beneficial in determining the extent of the fever.

ThermostatAre you a thermostat? Do you actually influence and set the tone for your home? A thermostat can cool things down when it gets a little hot. It can warm things up when there is a chill in the air. Having a thermometer does me no good unless I can then take that information and then modify the environment.

This is so true in our homes. But it is also true in our workplace and in our social gatherings and churches. Are we simply measuring the “temperature” of our homes? Or are we actually taking the information given to us by a thermometer and then influencing the environment for good?

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Our Daughters Need Protection – Week 2

by

Needs - Week 2 - 1There is nothing I wouldn’t have done to protect my daughter when she was little. And, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do today to protect her if it were within my power. And don’t even think about hurting my granddaughter!

We usually think of the act of guarding or protection as defending our daughters’ physical safety. And that is extremely important. But there are also emotional, moral, and spiritual dangers out there that we as fathers need to protect our daughters from. The cool thing is that if we are doing our job right, our daughters will have a sense of security even when we aren’t physically there to protect them.  Because the truth of the matter is, some day we won’t be there.  She will be hundreds of miles away at college or maybe just down the street at a friends’ house.

So how do we accomplish that?

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

A Value Vacuum

by

Value Vacuum - 1Can you have real leadership in a “value vacuum”?

What do I mean by that? By that I mean a leadership context that is devoid of values or morals. In an article earlier I opined the following: “Values are an integral part of good leadership. To be a true leader, you must take a stand on issues. And that stand must be a moral stand. As leaders we should be mobilizing and motivating our organizations to higher moral ground even when that may not increase the organizations profit margin or bottom line”.

Upon further reflection I am wondering if in addition to a leadership crisis in our society, we actually have a values crisis. Could it be that there are not enough of those who see values that are worthy enough that would make us want to lead others to strive toward reaching them? Conversely, could it be that there are not enough of us who see things that have such potential for harm that we will lead others away from those dangerous moral pitfalls?

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Greetings from Peru

by

One of our authors, Wayne Butler is currently leading a team on a project in Peru.  He sent the following message to us early this morning:

Map of Peru

I just wanted to say a quick howdy from south of the equator. God has been moving in mighty ways here answering prayer.

I would like to ask that you be in prayer for our special event Saturday evening where the potential exist for hundreds to accept Christ as their Savior!

Thanks,

Wayne

We say, “Thank you Wayne!” as you use your leadership abilities in such a wonderful way.

Posted on

Leading a Team – Leading from the Front

by

Leading from the Front - 2As the leader of a team, it is likely that you will be working as hard, if not harder, than anyone else on the team. With that said, however, it is critically important that if you wish to serve as a leader for your people – not just as a “commanding officer” – that you possess several important qualities. One of these qualities is the capacity to “lead from the front”.

Leading from the front is one of those general catch phrases that you may have heard spouted ad nauseum at a leadership seminar or a national conference for high achievers. I have often heard that phrase used as leaders talk about how great they are, and how you can also be great by doing what they do, like they do it. However, I would like to present an alternative definition.

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Proverbs 31-Mom was Right!

by

clelia_white_1_key

I recently had the privilege of leading a discussion to a group of men on Proverbs 31. No, we didn’t discuss the attributes of an unattainable, unrealistic woman but we discussed the first nine verses.
The first nine verses of Proverbs 31 are overlooked. These verses as the whole chapter are directed toward a King, uh…that would be translated a man.

The first nine verses are listed as the Sayings of King Lemuel…advise from his mother.

Let’s avoid the theological hand wringing and try not to figure out who King Lemeul was in history at this moment. I have done the commentary research and I just don’t want to bore you. He is a leader, a man, a son, and someone with authority. Someone like you and me. His mother’s advise is candid and simple.

King Lemuel’s mother addresses two items-
1. IMPURITY
2. DRUNKENESS

She warns that these two things will be her son’s ruin.

The verses are clear and the advice is stern.

Don’t spend your energy on women
or your efforts on those who destroy kings.

Leaders are not to waste their efforts and energy on women. The commentators go as far as to translate the verses as strange, gold-digging or loose women. As leaders we should be focused and not easily distracted by opportunistic women. In history, we have seen men fall because of their proclivities toward the opposite sex.

Now the next subject got the men’s group all up in a tizzy.  Drunkeness.

It is not for kings, Lemuel,
it is not for kings to drink wine
or for rulers [to desire] beer.
Otherwise, they will drink,
forget what is decreed,
and pervert justice for all the oppressed.

Leaders are not to be drunk, period, ever. As leaders you are to be focused lest we impede our judgement and not protect the needy and helpless.

For it is a King’s(man’s) role to defend the meek, poor and helpless and speak truth.
How can you do these things if you have a history of skirt chasing and being liquored up all the time? You debase your leadership and your walk.

Can you recall this morning…things your Mother would always say to you as you grew up.  Can you recite some of them today?

Posted on

Our Sons Need Spiritual Foundations and Milestones – Week 1

by

Needs - Week 1 - 2Welcome to the first article in a multi-part series that deals with the things that we, as fathers, need to do for our children, model for our children, provide for our children, or give to our children. It is my plan to deal with our children differently. And by “differently” I mean I will deal with them and address my words based upon their gender.

I plan to deal with them on alternating weeks. And, perhaps because my firstborn is a son, I have chosen to address this first article to those of us who have been blessed with a son. And this week I will begin with a moral and Spiritual foundation.

Our sons need a spiritual or moral foundation and they need additional milestones along the way

A Spiritual or moral foundation is vital and it is from that foundation that we build the rest of the processes for decision-making and the subsequent actions based upon those decisions. Milestones are the events, experiences, or habits that you expose him to that help to activate your son’s faith and teach him what it means to live a life that looks out beyond the end of his nose.

There are many upon which I can comment. But, to keep these short (or reasonably short) I will limit them to just these few:

Click here to read the rest of the article »