What Makes a Good Mentor and Mentee?

Mentor 1How-to books are full of advice on what makes a good mentor. But what makes a good mentee and what chemistry is needed to make the relationship work?

People being mentored should be open to feedback and be active listeners, according to a new research paper. They should also be respectful of their mentor’s time, including being on time and prepared for meetings.

And it helps to follow at least some of their advice.

“Successful mentorship is vital to career success and satisfaction for both mentors and mentees,” said Dr. Sharon Straus, a researcher at St. Michael’s Hospital and author of the paper published online in Academic Medicine.

Dr. Straus examined mentor-mentee relationships at two large academic health centers, the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine and the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine, where she is director of the Division of Geriatric Medicine. She said

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Fatherhood Is Finding the Joy in the Little Things

Little ThingsI won’t name any names here. But some little girl who once lived in my house used to begin conversations (well, actually I think it was the beginning of a request) with this statement:

“Daddy, do you know what I like about you? You find joy in the little things.”

The next part of that little conversation was usually me asking what little thing I was about to find joy in doing. She always had a ready answer when I asked in return what joy I was finding. More often than not the “little thing” didn’t cost any money. It usually only cost a little time.

I was aware at the time of many of the joyous little things that came together to make up my life. I did so because I had a wife who reminded me often and who helped me to slow down from time to time and experience the joy of fatherhood. But, I bet I missed a bunch of little things as well. So, in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, in the overwhelming drive to be the best provider to my family, in the extreme exhaustion of working all day and coming home and rushing off to little league or soccer, I encourage you find some joy today and tomorrow in the “little things” that make being a Dad so great.

 

Photo credit: Nutmeg Designs / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Free to be Me?

Free to be me #2When NBA player Jason Collins made news last week by becoming the first player in a major men’s North American team sport to announce that he was gay, words of support from fellow professional athletes, coaches, etc. were almost immediately reported. Many of the comments were similar to one on Twitter from Nick Swisher of the Cleveland Indians Major League Baseball team which stated, “I will always support people for being who they are.” Now my comments here are not about Jason Collins, and I am NOT opening up a discussion about homosexuality, but rather about what seems to have become a very lauded trait…not only showing tolerance, but actively supporting someone’s actions or opinions…simply because they are honest.

In my opinion, a leader does not have the luxury of blindly accepting a person’s comments or position simply because that person is being “true to who they are”. After all, many individuals who behave in a manner that is lazy, mean, careless, or spoiled are probably being true to who they are too. And if that person’s actions are detrimental to others, a leader must resist the temptation to be politically correct, and they must expect (and sometimes enforce) appropriate behavior. And what of the racist or alcoholic, or dare I say it, the pedophile?

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On the Team Tuesday – Team Ethos

OtT #2In this series of articles, I am calling “On the Team” Tuesdays, I hope to explore our families, our churches and our friendships as “Teams”, and how that applies to us as the leaders within those teams. I will be applying some military strategy and doctrine to help illustrate my points, so if that offends you, I apologize upfront.

Let’s start with our team ethos:

  • I will always place the team and the mission first.
  • I will never accept defeat, I will never quit.
  • I will never leave a teammate, or a fallen comrade behind.

I think there are team and leadership lessons right here in this three line statement.

Who the team is; is pretty obvious, but what is the mission?

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Mentoring Moment – Career Killers

career-fair-2011-4_lHistorically, first quarter hiring has often been followed by some form of corporate housecleaning. And we all struggle to avoid being housecleaned. So, in the spirit of offering some career leadership advice, please consider the following Mentoring Moment for today.

 

Here is a (short) list of career killers for employees to avoid:

  1. Clock watching.  This includes stopping work before your proper quitting time and intentionally working at a slow pace to avoid more work. This behavior sends a message that you feel you are on your own time after work and you don’t want to be bothered by telephone calls or emails after quitting time. It is increasingly risky to do this and not become branded a ‘9 to 5 employee’ who can’t or won’t handle responsibility well.
  2. Sitting on your hands.  Employees who do this fail to report problems they are aware of or suggest solutions to them.
  3. Disclosing confidential information.  This conduct comprises offering privileged information to a potential employer during an interview, posting it to social media and with friends or co-workers. This behavior may in fact be illegal and carry civil or monetary penalties.
  4. Using social media to bad-mouth employers.  There is a growing list of employees who have been terminated for

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Some Things to Consider in a Leadership Change

4949862608_e0ec015fe9_mThere is an organization that I am a part of that is very near and dear to my heart. I have been an active part of that organization for my entire life.  I have been involved in various leadership roles for 30 years.  And we are about to embark on the path to a change in leadership. This change is completely voluntary. Our current leader is accepting the call to move on to a new challenge.  So, don’t be concerned that there has been an uprising or mutiny. But a change in leadership is coming because of that nonetheless.

What are some things that an organization should consider in selecting a new leader? Consider with me the following as a partial list of key skills, abilities, traits or tendencies. It is not an exhaustive list by any stretch. But it may spur some thoughts and ideas as the organization moves forward with selecting and calling new leadership.

  • Leadership – This one almost goes without saying. When selecting a leader, make sure they have demonstrated leadership before.
  • Past Performance / Results – when searching for a new leader, do your research. Check out the leadership candidate. Has he/she demonstrated strong leadership in the past? Do they get results?
  • Part of Something Bigger – Each of us is a part of a much larger organization. And we should consider that we are building something that is larger than our local organization and it should fit well with the larger organization.
  • Learn From Mistakes – Everybody makes them. How does the leadership candidate show that they have learned from mistakes made in the past?
  • Fit Within the System or Personality of the Organization – Does the candidate mesh with the organizations overall system or personality? If not, you are destined for conflict.
  • Understand Their Strengths And Weaknesses – Both the leadership candidate and the organization need to understand their respective strengths and weaknesses and each other’s as well.
  • Hard Worker – Are they a hard worker who exhibits high effort? This is key if they are to lead an organization largely comprised of volunteers.
  • Are They a Finisher? – It is one thing to come up with great ideas. But can they execute the ideas and drive them to completion?
  • Are They a Team Player? – Yes, they can lead. But can they get along with the rest of the team and with the whole organization?
  • Problem Solver – It is one thing to identify problems. That is the easy part. Can they solve problems? Can they work together with the leadership team to find creative solutions?
  • People Skills – This one is a skill that cannot be learned. It is often an intuitive and innate one. But, even those without great people skills can develop a “warmer” persona and demonstrate real care and concern for those people who make up the organization.
  • Consistency – The need for long patterns of demonstrated leadership is great. Being able to do something for a short time is one thing. Being able to be a successful leader for a long period of time is quite another.
  • Stability – What is their personal and private life like? Is there drama at home? There will be drama (or at least diminished success) at the office.
  • Charisma – Are they charismatic and dynamic as a leader? No one wants a boring and lifeless leader.
  • Are They Being Mentored? – They may be an established leader. But are they actively being coached or mentored? If they feel they don’t need help, then they need it more than they can imagine. There should be a plan for continual improvement.
  • Ability To Prioritize – No one can get everything done that needs to get done. So, can they prioritize and focus on the things that have the potential for the greatest impact?
  • Mental Toughness/ Personal Tenderness – Are they mentally tough enough to take the slings and arrows of leadership? Yet, are they personally tender and compassionate with an ability to speak to the organization with love and tenderness?
  • Capacity – Do they have the capacity to grow as the organization grows?
  • Listening Skills – It is assumed they can verbalize and vocalize. But can they listen?

This is not a complete or perfect list.  But, It should help organizations in the midst of leadership change or who are contemplating a change in leadership.

What traits or abilities would you add to the list?

 

 Photo credit: larry_odebrecht / Foter.com / CC BY
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Photo credit: supersum (off) / Foter.com / CC BY-SA

Leadership – A Virtue?

Leadership - a VirtueLeadership. What is it and how do we obtain it?

I have been reading with a keen interest the articles of different writers to this blog. LeadershipVoices, I believe is a powerful platform for those in search of sound Godly wisdom concerning a dying virtue — Leadership.

I have to be perfectly honest here and admit I have plenty of room for growth in this, one of the greatest virtues. I state it as “one greatest of virtues” because as leaders we not only influence those in our respectful circle of life, but we leave behind a legacy that is sure to influence generations yet to come.

Consider if you will

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Leadership is like riding a bicycle

Learning to Ride a BicycleI admit it. I fell victim to the “Downton Abbey” craze. I watched an episode one night out of curiosity. The next thing I knew, I had found Seasons 1 and 2 on Amazon Prime and we watched at least 2 episodes a night for the next 2 weeks until we had seen them all. Then we went to start watching Season 3 – only this time it wasn’t free on Amazon Prime. You know you are hooked when you hit the “Buy with 1-Click” button and you shell out the money for the entire 3rd season without even thinking about what it cost. But, I suppose all of that is a subject for another time.

I found the story compelling and the dialog incredible. The characters were fascinating and complex. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it.

But I was captivated by a sentence uttered by a relatively minor character in the last episode of season 3. His name is Shrimpie and he is a husband caught in a loveless marriage and he is the father of a young woman who is rebelling against her parents and society in general. I am paraphrasing a quote from that episode:

“What I want is for her [his daughter] to know that family can be a loving thing. Love is like riding a bicycle or speaking French. If you don’t learn it young, it’s hard to get the trick of it later.”

I am taking this in a direction that you would expect and I am going to modify the quote to suit my purpose. What if

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I feel the need to lead, but Im not sure I have earned it.

leadership-horizon-23For those of you who don’t know, I have started a new job in the last 6 months or so. It has been a great opportunity for my family and for me. Although it has been a struggle for me at times because it is a completely new industry.

I feel as though my boss has asked me to do more than just sales. I think he is looking for a fresh set of eyes and ideas from someone who is new to the company but not new to business. So as I undergo the task of not only learning our services and how we deliver them to our customers, I am also learning our internal process of work flows.

I am finding that there are a few people in key positions that struggle with maintaining the correct work flow. This doesn’t hamper our ability to deliver our services to our customers but it does make for inconsistent record keeping and accounting.

So when I discover an error, I get a lot of “it’s not my job” and “he or she did this or that”. I feel a lot like the quote in the picture above. I have been entrusted with much, so much is expected.

Why doesn’t anyone else feel the same way?

At what point is it acceptable for me to

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Full-Contact Fatherhood

Full-Contact Fatherhood 1I played football many years ago in high school. To be honest, I wasn’t that good at it. But I remember it well. And I was thinking about those experiences recently.

If you ever played football in an organized fashion you will remember that there were multiple kinds of practices. In the summer, there were “2 a Days”. Those were a morning session of practice followed by lunch followed by another practice followed by complete exhaustion. There were “Walk Throughs”. Those were usually conducted in very light athletic gear. That meant that we wore no pads and sometimes even wore no helmet since no one was going to get hit. They usually were more strategic and educational. The coach taught us new plays and showed us our blocking and routes.

And then there was “Full Contact” practice. This meant full football gear. You better have your chin strap on and snapped in place because we were going to bang together with great speed and with great enthusiasm. The coach did all he could to simulate playing conditions. You ran hard until you heard the whistle blow.

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