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Legacy Leadership

Becoming “a Man of Value”

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A focus on legacy leadership will drive every decision that you make and every action that you take. But what is Legacy Leadership? And what does it have to do with me?

Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value.
— Albert Einstein

It surprises me how many husbands and fathers don’t spend enough time thinking about their legacy — what they will leave behind for the family that they love and the people they serve. I won’t even go into how many husbands and fathers only carry the life insurance supplied by their employer. But they seem to care more about the financial legacy they will leave than any other legacy that will be left behind.

A Personal Note

But the harsh reality is that each of us is leaving a legacy whether we realize it or not or whether we want to or not. The question is whether or not it is a legacy that is positive and has far-reaching implications for the following generations. And for me, the legacy that I want to leave is a spiritual one. That is an intensely personal legacy that will have far-reaching impacts for my family.

But there are other legacies that I should be concerned with. Perhaps you would do well to consider them as well.

What does “Legacy” mean?

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Principles of Intentional Mentoring 

4 Things That Must Be Considered

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There are some genuine considerations for the would-be protégé. In fact, there are four that I would have you consider today.

We need to identify a leader that is worthy of following.

It is an indictment of our culture, and maybe even our own judgment sometimes, that we would need to be reminded of this consideration. Not every leader is worthy of following. We must understand that consideration from both the leader’s and from the follower’s perspective. As a follower, I must find a leader that is worthy to follow and whose successes are not compromised by their ethics or methods. As a leader, I must always be diligent to be “worthy” to be followed.

We must learn how they lead.

Is there some “secret sauce?” Usually, there is not. It is just a lot of hard work and some careful application of emotional intelligence concepts. But, as a protégé, they will be asking: “What is the secret to your success as a leader?” So, as a leader, ask yourself the following questions: What makes you worthy to be followed? And what are you doing specifically that makes you “successful” as a leader?

What makes one leader successful will not always work in another place and setting. That is why I am stressing that it is important to learn how they lead. It is the “how” that will be filled with those traits and characteristics that will be the earmarks of an Emotionally Agile Leader.

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Active Mentoring 

What Does the Mentor / Protégé Relationship Look Like?

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When you pause a few moments to think about it, consider just how great it would be to sit down with one of the most well-known leaders of all time. Wouldn’t that be incredible?

I would never put myself out there as that level of leader for a moment. But, I know that what everyone wants is that sense of a 1-on-1 dialog and they want that intimate relationship that is built through the kinds of conversations that occur over an extended period of time.

What is the Vision?

My vision is to create that kind of mentoring relationship where we are handcrafting leaders in small batches and not stamping them out in a factory automated format. One size has never fit all. And building more Emotionally Agile Leaders is an artisan process rather than a mass-production process.

Leadership is modeled. It is not taught. Leadership must be lived out and demonstrated before our protégés eyes to be able to impact followers and impact those who would yearn to be a leader too.

Mentoring is not a mass production process. It is done more in the style of an artisan or craftsman who painstakingly creates a work of art one at a time over a substantial period of time.

It is no accident!

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Are You Certified? 

No, but, I am probably certifiable!

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I had a vigorous debate several days ago with a recognized leader for a global organization. He oversees a region of more than 100 local affiliates. He is a “legit” leader. There is much upon which we agree. And there is much upon which we do not agree when it comes to leadership and leadership development.

One topic of debate for us on a recent afternoon was on the value of certification when it comes to some of the tools or methodologies that are prevalent in leadership development today. I am a huge proponent of some of them and consider myself a bit of an expert in one or two of them. I just have never bothered to become “certified.” The leader that I was discussing this was fairly adamant in the necessity and value of certification. That, of course, got me thinking and pondering.

The Wright Brothers

Do you suppose anyone ever asked the Orville and Wilbur Wright if they were certified aeronautical engineers?

History tells us that they were actually tinkerers and small business men with a passion for flight. They gained the mechanical skills and experience necessary for their ultimate success by working for years in their shop with printing presses, bicycles, motors, and other gadgets. Some of which they invented or otherwise modified and improved. Their work with bicycles, in particular, influenced their belief that an unstable vehicle like some sort of flying machine could be controlled and balanced by a person with enough natural talent, skill, and practice.

Did you get that? They believed, as do I, that talent, skill, and practice are what really matters when it comes to increasing the potential for success. Not certification!

Thomas Edison

Let’s look at one more guy that was not certified. Consider Thomas Edison for a few moments. Edison, “The Wizard of Menlo Park”, has been called “America’s Greatest Inventor.” Here is a kid who only attended school for a short time and ended up being homeschooled by his mother with much of his education coming from reading rather than formal education. Yet he has given us the phonograph, movie camera, and the lightbulb, just to name a few. And his legacy lives on in the form of General Electric which made the inaugural Fortune 500 list and debuted in the top 10 on that list.

Not bad for an out of work telegraph operator and a seller of candy and newspapers on the railroad.

What made the Wright brothers and Edison successful?

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Watching and Influence 

Someone is always watching you

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Even when you don’t think so. Somebody is watching you. Somebody is always watching every little move you make, every step you take, every vow you break. (Wow, I broke into a lyric there for a second.)

Such is the stuff of thrillers and horror movies. But the same is true of the daily and the mundane. Someone is always watching you. That is certainly the case for me today as I sit in a waiting room this morning. As I am waiting, I look up in the corner of the room at the ceiling line and there it is. A little surveillance camera. Someone at a little monitor somewhere in another part of the hospital is watching me. I can’t imagine a more boring job.

This was a gentle reminder that, even when you don’t realize it, someone always has their eyes on us. That fact is also a gentle reminder that folks are influenced by what they see in us.

The Power of Influence

As a leader, do you understand the power of your influence?

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Many times, we are “hired” for our brains or our brawn. But, our character should never be for sale. It is priceless and once sold, can only rarely be reclaimed. So, leaders, be careful in this key area.

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Perception and Clarity 

The importance of clarity over perception

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One of my favorite individuals to listen to on the radio when I am driving around is a conservative talk radio host by the name of Dennis Prager. Even if you do not agree with his political persuasion, you have to respect his emphasis on, and value of, clarity over agreement.

This resonates more and more with me the older that I get. There was a time when an argument must lead to agreement, surrender, or acquiescence by my opponent. These days, I am much more willing to accept the possibility of disagreeing agreeably. I just need to ensure that there is clarity and that I am both understanding others and being understood.

All of that aside, I really would like to deal with the issue of clarity and perception. Specifically, it is important to have clarity around our self-perception when we are leaders.

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Sticks and Stones 

What I “think” about it really matters

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How many of you remember growing up and playing on the playground? What did you say when someone said something mean or hurtful to you? Maybe you said what many children have said when you repeated a little saying.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Oh, how I wish that were true. As we have gotten older, we have realized that words hurt more than the sticks and the stones. In fact, I heard a person say one time that “it is not what you think about me or even say about me that hurts me. It is what I think about what you think about me or say about me that hurts me.” What they are saying is that it is my perception about something that drives my behaviors.

What does this have to do with leadership?

I am working on some “appendix material” for my upcoming book. And I am working on a leadership development resource for 1-on-1 mentoring. I am working on the issue of self-awareness or self-perception. My focus for that section is on how we perceive ourselves, how others perceive us, and how we perceive that others perceive us. This can almost become a carnival house of mirrors scenario where that loop can become almost infinite. So, let’s not go that far.

Psychologists often use words like self-perception, other perception, and meta-perception. They indicate that we can be good or bad at each the of perception. I love alliteration. It helps me cement a concept in my mind. So, I am modifying their words to help me get a better grip on them and their leadership implications. So, I will use Self-Perception, Social-Perception, and Circular-Perception.

Self-Perception is simply a matter of how you see yourself. Our role as leadership mentors is to help our protégés to help them really see themselves as they are. And not just as they perceive themselves or even as others perceive them to be. Let’s face it. Very few of us are “black belts” at self-awareness. mentors must never come across as having become too much of an expert in this regard.

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I’ve Been Hacked! 

Some thoughts on the recent data breaches

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Well, not really. But it has happened before and it will probably happen again.

How many of you got a nice letter or email from a credit reporting agency recently informing you that your information and credit file was possibly one of the ones compromised in the Equifax data breach?

I got one! And I logged on to the new site set up just for this purpose to find out. It didn’t tell me for sure. But, it told me that it was “likely.” Not “definitely” and followed by “And here is what we are going to do about it . . .” All I got was a possibility and some advice to check back again soon and activate the free service that was being provided “for my protection.”

They weren’t able to prevent the breach. So, how were they going to help me on a go forward basis? Never mind. That is probably a subject for another time.

You may be asking, “Why are you discussing this? Is there a leadership angle somewhere?” You better believe that there is.

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You Have To Be Able To Take The Coaching

Advice from Tom Brady that we all need to hear.

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I have two favorite professional football teams. They are the Houston Texans and anyone who beats the Patriots. I don’t like their coach. And I don’t like their quarterback. But, when Tom Brady speaks the truth, I must acknowledge it.

One of the articles that crossed my newsfeed this weekend was an article on ESPN.com that gave some advice from Tom Brady of the New England Patriots to Deshaun Watson of the Houston Texans. His advice was as profound as it was simple. “Listen to ‘demanding’ Bill O’Brien.”

Here is a little more of what Tom Brady had to say to the ESPN reporter.

“Billy’s certainly [demanding],” Brady said. “They’re all demanding. That’s what makes them great coaches. They have a sense of urgency every day. They care very deeply about how the team is performing. They want every player on the roster to perform at a very high level every day, and that’s a lot of pressure for players. And I think putting pressure on players is critical to getting the best out of them, because players need to be pushed. There needs to be high demand placed on what we’re doing, and typically players that don’t like that are probably the ones that don’t last very long, in my experience in the NFL.”

There seems to be more to this statement than the obvious coach and player relationship. Brady is acknowledging that Houston Texans coach Bill O’Brien, the former assistant coach for the New England Patriots, is a little tough sometimes. Brady calls him “demanding.”

Demanding

What does it mean to be demanding? When referring to a task, the dictionary says it is about requiring much skill or effort.When referring to a person it says it is about making others work hard or meet high standards. So, why the negative connotation to the word demeaning?

One of the things sorely lacking today is any semblance of high standards and expectations. We don’t have any for those who lead us. And we don’t often have any for ourselves when it comes to our own performance.

Is there value in having a demanding coach?

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