For the past few months I have been kind of “looking inward” at myself. You know having some of those internal discussions with yourself, lying in bed at night, or on your drive to or from the office. I have been thinking a lot about my family, my past and what our future may hold. During one of these discussions with myself, I started thinking about my flaws, yes friends; believe it or not I have flaws. I know that may come as a shock to a few of you that know me, but it is true. The flaw I struggle with the most is self-control.

Now I wanted to discuss this because I think it is the most detrimental flaw for a leader to have because I think there is some “trickle-down effect” to their followers. In this case I refer especially to our families. What I have begun to realize is my lack of self-control has begun to rub off on my wife and kids. So maybe what I have done here is discovered a Leadership series that should be called Leadership Behaviors, hopefully Kevin won’t read this and ask me to do that.

The more I think about this the more interested in discovering a solution so I thought I would go dig around on the old “inner web thing” and see what others thought. What I found is it must be a pretty common problem and here are what I am going to call the “Four Cs” of learning self control, tell me what you think.

Curb your curiosity – For most leaders, everything is permitted, but not beneficial. Be sure to explore carefully and continuously evaluate the impact of your exploration. This includes internet searches, new friendships, and places you go.

Check your pride and vanity – It is not about you, it is always about those you lead. How does what you’re doing look to or reflect on your family?

Contain your anger and thoughts of revenge – Some of life is spent being angry, what does it get you? Being mad and plotting revenge will never bring others close to you. Bottom line: life is really to short to spend it angry or trying to get back at those that have wronged you.

Confine your personal ambition – When your personal ambition is stronger than you leadership, it pushes people away. It is okay to want to succeed, but not at the cost of your leadership. Your daughter’s dance recital is more important than the Sunday Night Football Game.

Try to get rid of destructive curiosity, vanity, revenge and self-centered ambition, will leave you with plenty of room to fill your life with fun, God centered activities that will draw followers in.

Exercising self-control is a challenge. Thankfully, it is one you can successfully meet. By controlling your thoughts, and associations, knowing yourself and seeking the help of other leaders, you can succeed. What are some of the challenges you face when it comes to self-control? What steps have you taken to overcome them?

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