Anthony Weiner. His name says it all. Let me be very clear. Anthony is not a man. And he is a poor excuse for a leader. How he got elected much less married puzzles me? But men (and women) can be deceptive and present themselves better than they really are.
Anthony Weiner is a brat. He is a digital flasher. If the internet didn’t exist, he would be wearing a raincoat in a public place opening it up to any unsuspecting victim. He is a decadent pervert. This poor excuse of a man is so intoxicated with himself and so proud of his genitals he must present them in digital format to women who are not his wife. Was that too harsh? Well maybe we as men and leaders need to call deviant behavior what it is: shameful, decadent, and dangerous.
We use soft words to describe pretty sordid behavior because it’s socially acceptable and palatable on the tongue. We call what he did sexting. And it is socially acceptable.
For example, if I say someone was robbed at gunpoint. You would think-“Wow! That is horrible.” You might get mad.
But if I said a woman was robbed with a gun pointed to her head and someone yelling-“Give me your cell phone or I will kill you in front of your kids.” Would that get your attention?
If I were to tell you that woman was so frightened that her cell phone fell to the ground because her hands were shaking so much. Then she felt a dull thud to her temple and the taste of blood in her mouth because the robber pistol whipped her. Would you be angered?
Then the woman/victim felt her knees give and then a sharp pain to her shoulder because she hit the hard pavement. Then as her blurred vision cleared, the victim sees and feels the robber standing over her. She grabs a glimpse of her scared children. And if I were to say the robber then placed the gun to the bloody temple of the victim and nonchalantly pulled the trigger. Would you text “SMH”?
But all the victim hears is the click of an empty chamber instead of the explosion of bullet piercing bone and brain tissue. The victim realizes she is still alive over the evil laughter of the robber and the screams of her children. Would you be mad?
The victim begins to sob deep heaving sobs as the robber leaves with her purse. Then the woman feels sticky blood on her cheek and warm urine running down her thighs as her children scream and cry for her, their injured mother. Then she realizes she may have defecated herself.
If I shared that with you…Robbery is more sinister.
So when you hear about a married man sexting, do you just shake your head? Or do we just accept it as the norm?
If I were to say a married man takes a cell phone camera out of his pocket before he drops his pants and examines himself proudly in a mirror. Then the married man realizes he is too soft. Then once he has aroused himself to attention…takes a photo of himself. Would you get mad or disgusted? If I were to say, the married man downloads the photo to his twitter account and then sends it to a woman who is not his wife. And then waits expectantly for her to be aroused and send a naked photo of herself to keep his “spirits” up. How would you view this man? Could you shake this man’s hand? Would you present your wife or girlfriend to this man? How about your children? Could you elect this man as a leader? What if the man in the mirror is you?
I would like to take credit for this train of thought. But Steve Farrar in his book Point Man takes a moment to call deviant behavior what it is. Deviant. Farrar pulls no punches when he describes what adultery really is. Intentional and Destructive.
I think we need more of this. So I didn’t pull punches either when I described aggravated robbery or sexting. I will spare you the description of what an addiction to @nline P@rn@graphy entails. Men, if you knew how many of your male co-workers were addicted to internet p@rn, you would not shake their hands. Women, if you knew…I would advise you to run. I think you get the point.
So what am I saying? As leaders we need to share truth and not accept shameful behavior in ourselves and others. We need to honor our marriages and, if single, our future marriage. As men in leadership in households, work, and play, we need not waste our energy on the opposite sex. As a Nation, we have seen the downfall of prominent leaders in our recent past. We must not assume or accept this as normal. We can do better with our elected officials. As flawed citizens, we are not asking for perfect people. But we need the intestinal fortitude to disqualify individuals whose morale fiber is shriveled and scarred beyond repair and shame. What Anthony Weiner has done, and probably still doing, is shameful. Don’t pity him or his enabling spouse. What he did was intentional, selfish, and childish. He is a fool.
Anthony Weiner is a warning to us as leaders. And men.