Category Archives: Fatherhood

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Manday-Continuing Proverbs 31 Verse 2

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screwing

Cartoon: Watterson, Bill. “Calvin and Hobbes.” Comic Strip. facebook.com/dailycalvinhobbes 12 July 2013.

How many of you had parents?  Silly question…but I thought I would start off with that little ice breaker.

A couple of weeks ago while teaching on Proverbs, I asked the question-If you were to pass away today, what nugget of wisdom would you want your child to have learned from you?

The mother of King Lemuel asked the same question as she gave advise to her son, the King.  The second verse of the much forgotten first nine verses of Proverbs 31 reads:

What [should I say], my son?     What, son of my womb?     What, son of my vows?

Like every parent, the King’s mother speaks/writes like one concerned with what to tell him…with what to share with him.  I can feel the anguish of having to choose words carefully.  And the prose is filled with concern.

I have two years before my oldest leaves our home and embarks on his own life.  The next two years “concern” me.  I am choosing my words carefully when I instruct and correct him.  I remember presenting him to the church body when he was months old.  I vowed to raise him to love God with all his heart, soul, and mind.  I remember my vow daily.  I promised to teach my oldest to live his life for God.  Remember the name Lemuel meant “for God”.  Devoted to God.  I learned from commentaries that Solomon was also called Jedidah meaning “of the Lord”.  So what vow are we talking about?  What devotion?  The commandment from Deuteronomy 6:4-7.

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Parents teach your children what is good.  No matter their station in life, everyone needs instruction.  Kings the most.  Men the most…husbands the most…fathers the most.  Because children may recall all the good and bad teaching.

I remember thinking “Oh great…one day my kid is going to show up on Oprah and point at me and blame me for all his issues.”  Probably.

I lean toward Matt Chandler’s assessment.

“We’re just gathering all the spiritual kindling we possibly can around our kids and begging God to ignite their souls for Him”.

Phew.  Amen.

 

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That Kind of Father

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Last week I asked the audience to submit a story about their father or being a father.  It could be serious or it could be funny.  In the end, I chose the following.  It is short and slightly poignant.

I am told of a dad who had to travel on business a lot when his two children were very young. It seems he would leave early in the work week and return late in the week. Some times his travels took him just far enough to make it too far to come home at night, but close enough to make it home sometimes in the middle of the week. One week he had to travel by plane even though it was just a two day trip.

Welcome Home DaddyNow he loved his children and his children loved him. How do we know that? Well consider this little situation as an example.

Although he had only been away from home for less than 48 hours, when his youngest saw the door to the jetway open, his youngest son broke loose from his mother’s grip and ran up the ramp and into his father’s arms. This startled the stewardess greatly and she asked the embarrassed mother just how long the little tike’s father had been away from home. She was expecting the mother to say that it had been many weeks since her sons had seen their Daddy. Imagine her surprise when the mother told her it had just been two days!

Now I don’t know about you. But I want to be the kind of Dad that is on the receiving end of that kind of greeting from my children. How about you?  Are your children excited when you come home at the end of the day?

Happy Father’s Day from the Entire LeadershipVoices Team

 

Photo credit: Michael D. Dunn / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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Another Thought Before Father’s Day

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FF - 20130615I sit at my desk early this morning contemplating Father’s Day. As far as I am concerned being a father is the most important job I will ever have. I smile because I know that my best father’s day present will be going to see the latest Disney movie with my family tonight. I ask you men, should we be selfish about Fathers Day? Maybe have an expectation to sit around and be waited on…..I say no, my family is my greatest accomplishment, so I say the best Father’s Day present I could get is to take them out and show them off. Be a Father this weekend, and enjoy your day.

 

Photo credit: Manue@PrettyKiku / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

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How does a father judge himself?

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How Does A Father Judge HimselfAs a father and recently a new grandfather, I have begun some “score keeping” so to speak. As we celebrated my youngest daughters 9th birthday and look toward my wife and my 12th anniversary, I wonder if my family thinks I am successful. I don’t mean financially or in my career, I mean as a father or as a leader in my home.

Based on my military background I am probably harder on myself than anyone else could ever be. I mean really down deep “In those places we don’t talk about at parties…” do my children really think I am good a being a dad? I bet I could influence those answers by the tasks I asked them to accomplish right before I asked them.

I am sure my boss would object, but only slightly, when I say “being a father is the most important job in my life”. So how am I doing? Is it based on the stuff we have for my kids to play with? Is it based on the last vacation? Is it based on the newest electronic device we have? Is it based on how much fun we have? I think my kids view of me being a success, would be different then my view of being a success.

Do you think your kids would score your success on their report cards? Do you think your kids would score your success on their attendance at church? Is it selfish of me to be concerned about the grade my children would give me?

I find solace in a statement a friend told me once on the golf course, he is a teacher and I have remembered it for years. He said about teaching and his concern about his students, “You have to get comfortable with the fact you are planting a flower you may never see bloom”. I guess that with our children we are planting a garden, that will require a lifetime of cultivation, and we will measure our success on the crop that will be our children as adults.

Photo credit: DVIDSHUB / Foter.com / CC BY

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One On One With Your Children

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One on OneEach of us knows some things intuitively. For instance, as fathers we know that spending intentional uninterrupted time with your child has eternal rewards. No matter how much “stuff” you have bought for them, it will never compare to simply being with you and having your full attention.

Personal confession time here – Did I spend every waking moment engaging with my two children when they were growing up? No – I did not. To be sure, it is important to teach your children to play independently of you or with their siblings. After all, I had a job to go to each day, I had (and still have!) my wife to spend time with, I had tons of involvement in our church, as well as a drive pursue my individual interests and hobbies. I did, however, make an intentional effort to spend intentional time with them daily.

Child development experts tell us that frequent little bits of “Daddy Time” will create

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The Measure of a Man

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The Measure of a ManMy wife and I were recently meandering through the back roads and little towns of East Texas. We stopped at a roadside antique store as is our custom. Something caught my eye that I had never seen before. They were Measuring Rods. Just look at the picture on the left and you will see what I saw.

Measuring rods have been around for thousands of years. The earliest preserved one known is a copper-alloy bar which was found by a German Assyriologist while excavating at Nippur in Southern Mesopotamia. The bar dates from circa 2650 BC. and it was used as a measurement standard.

In the Middle Ages, bars were used as standards of length when surveying land. These bars often used a unit of measure called a Rod (unit) of length equal to 5.5 yards, 5.0292 meters, 16.5 feet, or 1⁄320 of a statute mile. The rod unit was still in use as a standard unit of measurement in the mid-19th century, when Henry David Thoreau used it frequently when describing distances in his literary work Walden.

Standard. Now there is a word that we don’t hear very often. In fact we live in a world that doesn’t really have standards or expectations any longer. Certainly not when it comes to how we live our daily lives. We are told that if it feels good to us and it doesn’t impinge on anyone else’s rights, then it is OK to do.

Why was the measuring bar so necessary?

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Some Things a Dad Should Teach a Son

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Some Things to Teach Your SonI have been thinking a great deal lately about things that I learned from my dad.  He taught me a lot about what it means to be a man who understands the power of commitment. There was never any doubt about his commitment to God, my mom, us kids, his church or his job.  He took the commitments that he made very seriously and did not waver.

Do I ever recall my dad sitting down with me and saying, “Son, here are some things that I need to teach you”.  No, that didn’t happen.  But I picked up a lot of things from him about how to live my life as a man, a husband and a father.  And now, as I reflect on my own experience, I remember

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Soundtracks

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Tape RecorderEvery one of us has a soundtrack playing inside our head. It is a recording of the things that people have said to us over the years. For many of us we remember what was said and how it made us feel like it was yesterday. We seem to remember them even though we long to forget them. Many things that were said to us make us sad. Some make us mad.

What does this have to do with fatherhood and leadership in the home?

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Fatherhood Friday

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Fatherhood Friday 1We seem to be finding our groove.  Blogically speaking, that is.

“Manday” has been a big hit.  Each Monday the blog will focus on manly or manhood issues.  Rene Rivera will lead the charge on that front.  But there may be other voices from time to time if Rene gets too busy keeping us safe from crime here in Houston!

“New Author Tuesday” became “New Author Wednesday” recently.  And it was launched with a lot of traffic as Jamie Read’s article was visited almost 50 times in the first 24 hours.  That is impressive.  I guess these young bloggers have a good handle on social media and she was able to drive considerable interest in the blog.  “Thanks!” Jamie.  And who knows.  We may need to create a “Women’s Wednesday” and move the introduction of new authors to another day.

And today I am launching “Fatherhood Friday”. 

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