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Kevin Bowser

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I am the husband of a beautiful and wonderful woman. I am the father of two of the greatest kids on the planet. I am a father-in-law to a great young woman. And I am Papa to three very special grandchildren. In my spare time I am an active blogger and writer. And if there is any time left over, I work with small non-profit organizations and churches on the topics of change management, crisis intervention and leadership development.

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Tipping Back from the Tipping Point

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Tipping Back from the Tipping Point - 1The blog has taken a bit of a political turn in the last few days. We are sorry if that offends you. Our intent is not to be political in nature. But, when there is a crisis in leadership, it invariably turns a little political at times. When the truth is both colors, “Red” and “Blue”, have gotten us into this mess.  —  OK, enough of that.

My focus today is really on the root cause of some of the break down in leadership that we are currently experiencing. I began to trace the problem back to the root as I was conversing with someone today. My point to him was that what we are experiencing today is not the result of something that happened today. It is the result of what happened yesterday and many thousand yesterdays ago.

Tipping Back from the Tipping Point - 2I believe that our Nation is clearly at an inflection point. And it has gotten that way because our society and our culture tipped past the inflection point years ago. Prior to that, our churches tipped past that inflection point many years ago. And prior to that, our homes tipped past that point of inflection. Therefore, I choose to go back to the fundamental unit of society which is the family and try to rebuild it from the family unit perspective first and foremost.

And I call upon you men and you fathers to begin to lift the long lever in your family that will begin to tip in the other direction. If we do that, we will tip that one family back the other way. That family will seek other families of similar inclination and encourage them to be strong. I believe that they will seek God and His help and that we will see a resurgence of men in the church and the church will tip back to the direction that it rightly needs to be. And society and culture will follow because there is beginning to be a preponderance of men and families who are now viewing the world through different filters. And if all of this happens over time then the politics will take care of themselves — both Red and Blue!

So what is the Fatherhood Principle today?

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Looking Funny On A Horse

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Looking Funny On A Horse - 1I have said many times that love a great and pithy little quote. And I stumbled upon this one the other day from Adlai Stevenson.

Adlai Ewing Stevenson II (5 February 1900 – 14 July 1965) was an American politician and statesman. He was noted for his skill in debate and oratory. He served as Governor of Illinois and he was twice an unsuccessful candidate for President of the United States running against Dwight D. Eisenhower (in 1952 and 1956). Under the John F. Kennedy administration, he served as United States Ambassador to the United Nations.  Here is a quote attributed to him:

“It is hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.”

The quote above has been written about recently in a book by Ron Gaddie entitled, Born to Run: Origins of the Political Career. In that book Gaddie examines the political careers of nine different individuals who ran for political offices at a variety of local and state levels. I do not intend to review the book here. Rather, I want to look at the quote and explore its message to us as leaders.

What does the quote say to you from a leadership perspective?

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Likeable Leaders

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Likeable Leaders - 1I want to be liked. Do you want to be liked? I think that everyone wants to be liked.

Do we need to be liked to be an effective leader?

Here is another question.

Do we need to be liked to be an effective father?

There is something inside a man that longs for respect. And I think that many, if not most men would choose respect over love if they had to make such a choice. So, what do we do with that reality?

Likeable Leaders - 2I am not sure what comes easier for our children. But I think it is probably easier or more natural for our children to like and love us. I mean, they come into this world and we are teamed with their closest caregiver – their mother. So it is very easy for them to develop a needs based affection for us. And it is equally easy for that to further develop into a love relationship based upon a family connection.

Respect comes as they grow older and probably comes initially naturally. Our children may not recognize it as respect. But as they grow older they will learn to recognize it as respect and it will grow if we are the father that we are called to be.

What happens if something in the father – child relationship gets fractured and it brings harm to the love relationship?

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Ex glande quercus

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Ex glande quercus - 1I may have mentioned a time or two before that I love great quotes.  The more obscure and pithier, the better.  And if I can find a Latin quote, well, that is the best!

I think I have established a new high water mark for obscure quoted today when I present this one for your consideration:

ex glande quercus

The phrase is Latin and it is the motto of what was once a proud and noble institution but has become an ill-performing secondary school in England.  In fact, the school is in the lowest 20% quintile amongst similar schools nationally. In 2012, 40% of pupils attained five General Certificate of Secondary Education grade A* to C in English and mathematics.  Following an inspection in December 2012, the school was placed in “Special Measures” under the Education Act 2005 because it was failing to provide an acceptable standard of education and the persons responsible for leading, managing and governing the school were not demonstrating the capacity to secure the necessary improvements in the achievements of pupils, quality of teaching, standards of behavior, and managerial leadership.

Ex glande quercus - 2Oh, Have I neglected to give you the translation of the Latin phrase?  Have you “googled” it already and found it out for your self?  Here is the translation:

From acorn to oak.

Let me let that just sink in for a few minutes.  “From acorn to oak.”  What do you suppose that means for you and I today as fathers?

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Redefining Fatherhood

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Redefining Fatherhood - 2It seems like everything is being redefined these days. We are redefining marriage. We are redefining patriotism. We are redefining nearly every foundational institution of our society. And the one that is on my mind today is redefining “fatherhood”.

Fatherhood: 1. The state or responsibility of being a father. 2. The qualities of a father. 3. Fathers considered as a group.

Daddy: 1. An informal word for father. Slang – the dominant male in a group.

Those are current definitions that can be easily found in a multitude of online dictionary resources. I wonder if these definitions resonate with you today.

What words or mental images come to your mind when you hear the word “fatherhood”?

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Some Thoughts on Maturity

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RMM Logo for 20130921Leadership Voices is partnering with an organization here in the Houston area this week-end. It should be an exciting time and we are expecting a great turnout. One of the key words in the title of that event is the word “mature”. The more I “mature” in age, the more I find myself listening to folks older than me. And by folks older than me, I mean people in the silver and golden seasons of life.

Here are a few reasons why those who would be leaders should listen to older people:

Old people have lived more of life than most of us. When they stand up to speak, they have a long track record of life from which to draw. And much of that time was spent actually focused on living life rather than memorizing passwords, tweeting trivia, engaging with video games, facebooking, and texting.

Some Thoughts on Maturity - 2Please don’t tune me out at this point. I am not against those things. I have a Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and even a Pinterest account. And, as you see, I am an active blogger.

But, the difference between the young and the not so young is that much of their time was spent on doing real things–often hard things– rather than watching people pretend to do real things on television. They know more about the human experience and the struggles of the human soul than I do.

Old people are done with “ladder-climbing”. That means they can speak the truth without fear of losing a job, donors, followers, blog readers, a career track, supporters, customers, conference invitations, record deals, or a popular reputation. Old people can truly view people as…well, people, rather than consumers. They are prepared to give people what they need, rather than what they want. Having lived most of life, they have a better understanding of what people need, whereas younger people have a better understanding of what people want. That makes them incredibly valuable as mentors.

Some Thoughts on Maturity - 3Old people are more self-aware than you think. The older they get the more aware they are of their own shortcomings and the vastness of the grace of a loving and forgiving God. They aren’t all that impressed with themselves and they don’t waste much time on nonsense. They know that they probably don’t have another 50 years ahead of them and so the things of eternity are becoming clearer to them as the clutter of life is pulled away. They still believe God has a sense of humor but they somehow sense He isn’t laughing at most of the stuff we are laughing at on television and in our society. They are more serious about life, and yet often less anxious at the same time. They spend less time stressing on the pursuit of power, position, and coolness and more time resting in the pursuit of Godliness.

Is there sometimes a tendency in old age to become a grumpy old man and become resistant to change and technology? Yes, but those tendencies sometimes are more tied to personality than chronology.

So that’s why I increasingly listen to the senior guys.

  • Do you want to know what is hip or cool? Talk to a millennial.
  • Do you want to know how to make money? Talk to a boomer.
  • But if you want to be a wise leader, then listen to some faithful old guys and gals who have walked with God two or three times longer than you’ve even walked the earth.

On days like today, I miss my father-in-law who went to be with the Lord a few years ago. He was a tremendous mentor to me. However, I am very fortunate to still have my father alive and just down the road from where I live. And I have found a man at work who is older than me and who has taught me a great deal about things that I need to know to be successful in my current assignment.

What about you, young leader? Who are you looking to and listening to?

Join with me and learn from those who came before us and yet are still with us.

Photo credit: jaymiek / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
Photo credit: Neil. Moralee / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

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Our Daughter Needs Us to Guide as We Walk a Fine Line – Week 10

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Needs - Week 10 - 3Our sons and our daughters both need us. But, I must confess that, right or wrong, usually our hearts are a little more tender when it comes to our daughters. Nevertheless, if our kids are given the opportunity, sometimes they will lose their minds.

Part of our coaching role is to bring them back to reality. Our daughters need us to guide them. And she also needs you to walk a very fine line sometimes. Your guidance should be more than simply setting a fine example, but it should not be an endless stream of lectures and diatribes.  So what do we do?  How do we guide?

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Our Sons Need Us to Help Them Make a Life Plan – Week 9

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Needs - Week 9 - 1Dad, do you have a plan to help your son become a real man?

You’ve heard the maxim: If you fail to plan, you may as well plan to fail. Or, as I heard in a sermon illustration many years ago: “A porpoise without a purpose in bounder flounder.”  (I guess you had to be there . . .)

Your son needs a father who is thinking about his son’s future and taking action to prepare them for that future—whether we’re talking about tomorrow, next week, next year, or ten years from now.

So, what should we help them to plan for? They will need at least the following:

They will need to plan for a vocation. They may have many jobs before they settle in to a career. But they need a plan on how to start. You can help your son plan for his vocational future by:

  • Helping him explore a wide variety of interests and hobbies. Is he gifted at music? Has he been to space camp? Is he a superstar athlete? Is he a writer? Is he a builder? He won’t know unless he tries.
  • Helping your son brainstorm about career possibilities, and then exposing him to jobs that might interest him. You can do this well before high school. If he wants to be doctor, see if you can take a tour of a hospital and ask a doctor some questions about being a medical professional.
  • Trying not to talk negatively about your own career. Those comments muttered under your breath make a big impression on him. Not only do they shape your son’s ideas about your job, they color his impression of work in general.
  • Encouraging an entrepreneurial spirit. Our society needs more business owners and those willing to be creators of jobs for others. Those baby-sitting and lawn-mowing jobs teach your kids that both time and effort have their rewards.

They will need a plan for choosing a life’s mate. Dad, don’t leave your son to learn these things from his friends or some men’s magazine that he picks up. Give him accurate information. Help him really understand the importance of integrity, purity, and respect for women. You can help him plan for a healthy dating and marriage relationship by:

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How to Conduct Team Briefings

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How to conduct team briefings - 1Earlier in the week I discussed team briefings and the importance of communications in the process. But I really didn’t address the mechanics of conducting the team briefing. So, today, let’s focus on that.

As the Leader You Must Commit to a Structure and a Process  It doesn’t necessarily be a super-formal process. But, people must understand what to expect when they attend one of your team briefings.

  • Ensure that you understand what is going on in the organization and that you have been properly briefed yourself. Make sure your team leaders know what’s happening at various levels, and with various other teams, throughout the organization.
  • Provide training or coaching on how to conduct effective team briefings.
  • Recognize and reward supervisors and managers for conducting effective team briefings.
  • Brevity is the soul of wit. If you can’t say it in 15 to 30 minutes, then a team briefing is not the right vehicle for a more complex message.

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Team Briefings

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Team Briefing - 1We have many communication options these days – phone calls, faxes, emails, text messages, and so on. Sometimes it seems as though traditional, face-to-face meetings are disappearing.  It seems that the more options for communicating that we have available, the less real communication occurs.

I am probably one of the only guys at my place of employment without a Bachelor of Science degree.  Most are engineers.  My degree is a lowly Bachelor of Arts degree.  And it is in Mass Communications.  However, I have leveraged it fully throughout my career.  And one of the things that I recall about the communication process is that it has 3 parts and not just 2.  We often think of the “sender” and the “receiver”.  But we often forget the all important ‘feedback”.  And unfortunately, feedback is extremely hard to discern outside of face to face communication.  And even then it is hard to discern.

So, for On the Team Tuesday, let’s look at Team Briefings and what role we have as leaders in that setting.  And let’s consider the characteristics and benefits of well run team briefings. .

The basic characteristics of a team briefing are as follows:

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