He was born October 2nd, 1869 and he was assassinated on January 30th, 1948. He was more commonly known as Mahatma Gandhi and he was the preeminent leader of Indian nationalism in British-ruled India. He employed exclusively non-violent civil disobedience as a means to influence his followers and his opponents alike. Gandhi led India to independence and, as a result, he inspired movements for non-violence, civil rights and freedom across the world.
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It was great to be a man this morning and to be a part of a great fellowship breakfast. All I can say is that if you are local to Houston, TX and you missed it, then you really missed it! Our own Rene Rivera spoke to a group of 35 men of all ages this morning on the subject of Biblical Manhood and Accountability. And he was spot on! His use of the term “Life-minded” is something that I hope he will develop further for our audience.
What this culture needs above almost all else is strong Godly men to lead their families. Men who realize that this is not a sled dog race and that we don’t lead from the back.
But the day would not have happened if it hadn’t been for the vision of Billy Long, Randy Meekes and a few others at our first Author’s Breakfast a few weeks ago. Six men met at a Denny’s on a Saturday recently to strategize and plan for the development and growth of LeadershipVoices. One of the things that was clear that morning was that there is a need for men to meet together and fellowship. And today certainly proved it as we experienced this morning.
One of the things that came out of this morning is a new focus area for the blog. Rene will be moving his posting activity from Thursdays and will launch what we are tentatively calling “Manhood Monday” this coming Monday. Each week he will develop some tidbit that can be used to make us men better leaders in our homes, jobs, churches and in our culture. I am looking forward to what Rene brings to the blog each week. What about you?
If you have an idea for a better title than Manhood Monday then reply or comment with your idea.
In parts one and two we looked at two of the many roles that a father plays. We looked at him as financier where he has a role in being a provider for the family. But we saw that being a provider is not what our family needs from us the most. We then looked at his role as a friend and how hard it is to be something much more than our child’s buddy. In this, our last installment of the series, I want to explore the most important role that a man will play in life and his relationship to his children.
Father – “Father knows best.”
>Boy, I really wish this last statement were true 100% of the time. We all know it isn’t. But at the end of the day, we are responsible. President Harry S Truman said, “The buck stops here.” And the “buck” of responsibility stops with the father. Another way of looking at it is this. “We may not always be right, but we are always the parent.” And we need to act accordingly. We need to step up and make the tough decisions. We need to make decisions that may be unpopular with our children. And we will make some bad decisions. And when we make a bad decision or a mistake, we need to acknowledge it. Our children will not lose respect for us when we admit a mistake. In fact, the opposite is true. They will come to respect us even more by seeing that we love and respect them enough to acknowledge when we have failed them.
I think homes in America today are places of “Fatherhood Vacuums”. Divorce has ravaged our families, our homes and our society. And so often, Mom has had to step in to fill the void left by an absent father. There can even be fatherhood voids in homes where the father still remains. How tragic is that when a father is present physically but absent emotionally?
So what is my point today?
My point is this. Is it my role primarily to provide for the needs of my family if possible? Absolutely! But that is not the most important role that I have. Is it my role to be a friend to my children and build a relationship of closeness and camaraderie? Absolutely! But of the three roles, financier, friend and father, being a real father is the most important of them all.
Go be a “father” today!
Photo credit: Thomas Leuthard / Foter.com / CC BY
Photo credit: Tojosan / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
Reading Michael Hyatt’s blog early this morning I saw his recounting of a podcast by Andy Stanley, a well-known pastor in the Atlanta, GA metropolitan area. Andy Stanley is of the opinion that the greater or higher the level of leadership that a person reaches, the less accessible they must make themselves.
Andy Stanley is quoted as saying:
“The harsh reality of leadership is that the more successful we are, the less accessible we become. As things grow and as more people become involved, a leader can’t be equally accessible to all people. So then we are faced with the dilemma of who gets my time and who doesn’t, when do they get it, and how much of it do they get.”
l sort of equate that to the movie star who becomes famous by making movies. And then they go on countless TV interviews to become even more famous. And then they complain because they never have any privacy. Does that sound familiar?
l would submit to you that the things that made a great leader great are the same things that will keep them great. And one of those things is accessibility and approach-ability. Every person needs a certain amount of privacy and down time. And as followers we need to recognize and respect that. But I don’t see a significant reason for someone to become markedly less accessible in order to become more effective.
Absence, or aloofness, doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart wander. And the opposite of accessible could be defined as aloof. And who thinks that is a leadership trait?
The story of Naaman has an interesting leadership lesson for us today. Naaman was the commander-in-chief of the ancient Syrian army. He was a man with both position and power. By all earthly standards, Naaman was a recognized leader: he had worldly abilities, fame, respect and authority.
However, Naaman had a really big problem. He had leprosy. In that day and time, leprosy was an awful incurable disease. It required total isolation from everyone for fear of spreading the dreaded disease. And it is really hard to be a leader when you have to be isolated from everyone that you are leading.
Can you just imagine for a few minutes
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We recently looked at the role that we play as a financier for the family. And that role is important. But consider part two of this three part series.
Friend – “Hey, who is your buddy?”
One of the other traps we fall into is the trap of trying to be a buddy or pal to our child rather than being their father. And the reason we do is fairly obvious. It is much easier to be a friend than it is to be a father. And besides, who doesn’t want to be a pal or to have a pal? The problem is
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One of the top ways that a leader can grow is by listening.
Think of this as a follow up to my article that looked at whether leadership is a quiet or loud activity.
It is somewhat counter-intuitive. Leadership feels like it should be a speaking activity. But it advances well when it exercises a listening posture. That reality can be hard to accept. It feels like it ought to be the other way around. But then again, leading by “feelings” is rarely a good idea. A leadership position often makes us think that we should be doing most of the talking. Not true. Leadership positions make us think
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As Dads, we have a lot of roles to play as part of our overall responsibility to the family. This is especially true when it comes to the relationship that we have with our children. In a brief three part series I plan to consider three particular roles that we play in our children’s lives.
Financier – “What am I made of? Money?”
I think one of the things that is the hardest for us to understand early in the life of our family is understanding what level of importance to place on the role of money within the family. And one of the traps that young fathers fall into is the trap of
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Looking to the start of 2013 I find myself reflecting on a passage that you hear occasionally at this time of year. Here is that often misquoted or misused scripture – “Where there is no vision, the people perish”. It is found in the Old Testament in Proverbs 29:18. It is used many times from the pulpit to exhort us to catch the vision that the pastor has seen and to press us onward to the destination seen in the vision.
But I submit to you that there is a BIG difference between being a visionary and being a leader.
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There are a lot of leadership topics that we have discussed so far since the start of Leadership Voices. But today, I am focused on leading folks to the manger. Something glorious happened overnight.
No, not Santa. While the world slept, Jesus was born!
Ok, maybe not last night. But He was born on a night like last night. It was a night with lots of activity. For Joseph and Mary it was the busyness of the census and travelling with the throngs of people as they all journeyed to their ancestral homes. For many of us, it was the busyness of wrapping, cooking, cleaning and the mad rush to the 24 hour drug store as we realized that batteries really weren’t included.
It would be foolish of me to suggest or to try to eliminate all of the activities that accompany the modern Christmas season. But I would speak to you men on this day. I would speak especially to you husbands and fathers. And if I am honest, I would speak to myself. And what I would say is this:
Let’s lead our families and loved ones to the manger today. Not literally, but figuratively. Let’s lead our families to the manger in some form or fashion today to worship Jesus Christ the newborn king.
Don’t send them.
Lead them!
