Category Archives: Home

Posts that relate to leadership in the home.

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Financier, Friend or Father — Part Two

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Friend - JumpWe recently looked at the role that we play as a financier for the family.  And that role is important.  But consider part two of this three part series.

Friend – “Hey, who is your buddy?”

One of the other traps we fall into is the trap of trying to be a buddy or pal to our child rather than being their father.  And the reason we do is fairly obvious.  It is much easier to be a friend than it is to be a father.  And besides, who doesn’t want to be a pal or to have a pal?  The problem is

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Financier, Friend or Father — Part One

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Money TreeAs Dads, we have a lot of roles to play as part of our overall responsibility to the family.  This is especially true when it comes to the relationship that we have with our children.  In a brief three part series I plan to consider three particular roles that we play in our children’s lives.

Financier – “What am I made of?  Money?”

I think one of the things that is the hardest for us to understand early in the life of our family is understanding what level of importance to place on the role of money within the family.  And one of the traps that young fathers fall into is the trap of

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Is leading a spiritual duty?

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DSC_0304A definition of duty:

An act or a course of action that is required of one by position, social custom, law, or religion:
a. Moral obligation: acting out of duty.
b. The compulsion felt to meet such obligation.

I ask this because I feel as though as Christians, if we are called, we have the duty to answer that call. So I ask you this; If we have the ability to lead, are we morally bound to do so? Men, fathers, I don’t necessarily mean at home. Managers, I don’t necessarily mean at work. I am talking about spiritually and physically in our social or secular groups.

Maybe a better question is; Do leaders have to want to lead? Leadership, real true leadership, is hard. It is time consuming. Why would anyone want to do it? I firmly believe that true leaders are made not born. So why or at what point did these leaders make the decision to act like leaders? In other words, when did Gen. Patton, Abraham Lincoln or Tom Brady have some sort of an epiphany?

Once in a while I will spend time outside in my garage allowing my girls to play outside. And I have noticed that my youngest has become the leader of her peer group. She doesn’t realize it, but her friends always want to do what she is doing and they follow her around like the Pied Piper. Is this when we discover that people will follow us? Is this where the beginnings of leadership qualities take hold in our psyche?

I think that discovery of leadership talents within you may be the hardest part of leadership. Accepting your role as a leader is comparable to accepting God’s Grace. Receiving it, is the most difficult. I feel as though personally deciding you are a leader may be a little conceited. If that is the case then how do we discover any real leaders?

Finding my “calling” is a constant struggle for me. I have trouble listening for God to offer me clues or watching for his opportunities to be called. Additionally, I heard someone say once that a Christian should be prepared to “Preach, pray or die at a moment’s notice”. Should a Leader be prepared to incite, supervise or relinquish their leadership at a moment’s notice?

Lastly, I think it is our duty to develop new and additional leaders. The way my old CO told his NCOs to do this was to observe your team and discover who your new leaders will be. Then communicate with them about expectations, encourage them to lead, and empower them with responsibility. And they will become the leaders that you thought they could become.

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A Leader and His Sword – Part 1

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In reading some of these articles there are a few Bible verses and stories that come to my mind that I would like to share with you.

The first story is found in Nehemiah 4:18 and surrounding verses.  Here the Jews are rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.  First I will point out that all the men were armed with swords (duh).  But swords at this time were the most powerful hand held weapons that existed.  It would be like carrying a tricked out assault rifle today.  The workers went about their daily routines, but they were ready for war at a moment’s notice.

Does this mean we should all keep an AR-15 nearby?  I leave that decision for you to make.

The second part of this story is the building of the wall itself.  Walls serve to protect us from the outside.  What is “outside”?  It’s anything that would harm or threaten us.  This could include storms or enemies or floods or anything we have never even thought of.  Do we need to build cinder block walls 10 feet thick around our homes?  Maybe.  Maybe a good first step would be to fix that loose back door or that one window that never shuts all the way.

Now that that’s out of the way, the second part of scripture that I wanted to mention is one that almost everyone is familiar with.  It is found in both Matthew 26:52 and also in John 18:11.  Here, Peter is standing ready to defend himself and those he cares about.  In the preceding verses we read that it was the priests that came with swords and clubs.  Peter’s life was put in danger and I believe he acted in self-defense.  Jesus told Peter to “put away” his sword.  Jesus did not say “throw away”, nor did He say “get rid of it”.

 

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Leadership begins at home

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Simple HouseIf I believe anything about leadership, it is this.  Leadership begins at home.

But just what does that mean?

I believe that it means that the primary place for leadership to be modeled and for it to flourish is in the context of home life.  As a husband it is my responsibility to be the Spiritual leader of my home.  That is a topic that I know someone will develop much more fully than I will at this point.  But suffice it to say that being a leader in this area is unlike any other leadership role.

But there is more leadership to be modeled in the home.  The role of father is also unlike any other.  Again, this is way too important to cover this briefly.  But here is a tidbit.  It has been said that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to really love their mother.  Here is leadership by example of the highest magnitude.

We are only scratching the surface of the topic of leadership in the home.  And this is obviously only a male perspective.  But I am posting this to further probe the various aspects of leadership that we need to explore.  The role of wife and mother is equal in significance to that of husband and father.  Equal, but very different.  And that difference and equality is part of the mystery of how we are made as men and women.

Who will be brave and begin to develop this a little further?