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Tipping Back from the Tipping Point

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Tipping Back from the Tipping Point - 1The blog has taken a bit of a political turn in the last few days. We are sorry if that offends you. Our intent is not to be political in nature. But, when there is a crisis in leadership, it invariably turns a little political at times. When the truth is both colors, “Red” and “Blue”, have gotten us into this mess.  —  OK, enough of that.

My focus today is really on the root cause of some of the break down in leadership that we are currently experiencing. I began to trace the problem back to the root as I was conversing with someone today. My point to him was that what we are experiencing today is not the result of something that happened today. It is the result of what happened yesterday and many thousand yesterdays ago.

Tipping Back from the Tipping Point - 2I believe that our Nation is clearly at an inflection point. And it has gotten that way because our society and our culture tipped past the inflection point years ago. Prior to that, our churches tipped past that inflection point many years ago. And prior to that, our homes tipped past that point of inflection. Therefore, I choose to go back to the fundamental unit of society which is the family and try to rebuild it from the family unit perspective first and foremost.

And I call upon you men and you fathers to begin to lift the long lever in your family that will begin to tip in the other direction. If we do that, we will tip that one family back the other way. That family will seek other families of similar inclination and encourage them to be strong. I believe that they will seek God and His help and that we will see a resurgence of men in the church and the church will tip back to the direction that it rightly needs to be. And society and culture will follow because there is beginning to be a preponderance of men and families who are now viewing the world through different filters. And if all of this happens over time then the politics will take care of themselves — both Red and Blue!

So what is the Fatherhood Principle today?

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A Lack of Leadership

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Lack of Leadership - 1Last night one of my daughters asked me why the government was shut down, and I have to admit, I didn’t feel like I had a good answer. So I explained to her about the two parties and the house and congress, and how they could not agree. She wanted to know why the president could not make them agree, and again I did not have a good answer. I feel like all the points I will attempt to get on paper here have been said before, but this government shutdown nonsense has made me think, maybe our lack of leadership is more important than we realize.

It concerns me that a lack of leadership occurs so often in our society, our government, our sports team, and all the way down to our local church. I mean maybe the most beloved football coach in history was fired, for what Penn State said was a “Lack of leadership”. I really want to use bad language here to make sure my point gets across, but I won’t, however….Who is steering the ship?Lack of Leadership - 2

It is abundantly clear: every organization depends upon

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Leadership: Ever Been Mistaken for the Messiah?

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Illustration by Joby Harris

Illustration by Joby Harris

Every Wednesday, I meet a group of men-leaders-for a Bible Study. This has been going on for over 15 years.
We are currently studying the book of John. The discussion of John the Baptist and his paving the way for Jesus the Messiah took an interesting twist. The scriptures talk of a “Blue Ribbon Committee”(if you will) approaching John the Baptist and asking him a set of amazing questions about his identity.

Now understand, John the Baptist was a barbarian…I mean…leader. He was a voice in the wilderness, heralding the Messiah, preaching repentance, and baptizing his followers with water. He was creating quite a stir. So much so…people became nervous. Look at the following scriptures.

And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the Prophet?” And he answered, “No.” So they said to him, “Who are you? We need to give an answer to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” He said, “I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’ as the prophet Isaiah said.” John 1:19-23

His leadership skills were so strong that he was mistaken for the Messiah. His life and diet was so bizarre that he was mistaken for Elijah. His message was so truthful and radical that he was mistaken for the Prophet. And it attracted followers. I don’t know about you. But my leadership skills are elementary at best. I have never been accused of being a team player. Much less mistaken for the Messiah in my spiritual walk. I am just trying to lead Team Rivera (one wife, two teenage boys, and three dogs-one with three legs) through this thing called life And try to color inside the lines. But wow…what an interesting testimony.

Have you in your leadership efforts been mistaken for the boss? CEO? or Commander in Chief?
Has your message been so bold and radical that it attracts followers? Or maybe your leadership skills have caused others to wonder where in the world you come from?

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Is “Do as I say, not as I do” an effective leadership strategy?

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Do as I say, not as I do - 1There is a very popular saying and I’m sure you have heard it; “Do as I Say, Not as I Do!” In other words, do as you’re told, and just because I do something does not mean you’re allowed to. There is an inherent flaw in this for anybody that studies management or leadership. One of the things they teach you in leadership is to “lead by example”. But if you run your business or group as a hypocrite then it will be hard to find people to follow you. So I heard a different quote, and I want to start using it:

“Say and Do as I Do; Not as I Don’t!”

In other words, watch what I do and how I lead by example, and even if you can’t keep up or do things as well as I can, I still want you to say as I do, until you can. And don’t do things differently than the way I do them.

This resonates with me because it is truly the crux of how I want my team to act. What concerns me the most however is will this lead to their discouragement.

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Manday Quote: Ben Franklin

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benjamin-franklin-religion

Here is my Creed. I believe in one God, the Creator of the Universe.  That He governs it by His providence. That He ought to be worshiped. That the most acceptable service we render to Him is in doing good to His other children.  That the soul of man is immortal, and will be treated with Justice in another life respecting its conduct in this.  These I take to be fundamental points in all sound religion, and I regard them as you do in whatever sect I meet with them.  As to Jesus of Nazareth, my opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think the system of morals and his religion, as he left them to us, is the best the world ever saw, or is likely to see.

Benjamin Franklin, March 9, 1790

Do you have a creed?

 

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Looking Funny On A Horse

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Looking Funny On A Horse - 1I have said many times that love a great and pithy little quote. And I stumbled upon this one the other day from Adlai Stevenson.

Adlai Ewing Stevenson II (5 February 1900 – 14 July 1965) was an American politician and statesman. He was noted for his skill in debate and oratory. He served as Governor of Illinois and he was twice an unsuccessful candidate for President of the United States running against Dwight D. Eisenhower (in 1952 and 1956). Under the John F. Kennedy administration, he served as United States Ambassador to the United Nations.  Here is a quote attributed to him:

“It is hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.”

The quote above has been written about recently in a book by Ron Gaddie entitled, Born to Run: Origins of the Political Career. In that book Gaddie examines the political careers of nine different individuals who ran for political offices at a variety of local and state levels. I do not intend to review the book here. Rather, I want to look at the quote and explore its message to us as leaders.

What does the quote say to you from a leadership perspective?

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Likeable Leaders

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Likeable Leaders - 1I want to be liked. Do you want to be liked? I think that everyone wants to be liked.

Do we need to be liked to be an effective leader?

Here is another question.

Do we need to be liked to be an effective father?

There is something inside a man that longs for respect. And I think that many, if not most men would choose respect over love if they had to make such a choice. So, what do we do with that reality?

Likeable Leaders - 2I am not sure what comes easier for our children. But I think it is probably easier or more natural for our children to like and love us. I mean, they come into this world and we are teamed with their closest caregiver – their mother. So it is very easy for them to develop a needs based affection for us. And it is equally easy for that to further develop into a love relationship based upon a family connection.

Respect comes as they grow older and probably comes initially naturally. Our children may not recognize it as respect. But as they grow older they will learn to recognize it as respect and it will grow if we are the father that we are called to be.

What happens if something in the father – child relationship gets fractured and it brings harm to the love relationship?

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In a World of Words

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A alma nos "basto"This article has been a long time in the making.

Words…we use them every day.

It is one thing to offer up words of encouragement only later to use those same words to discourage another. This is often a product of our cynical society. I am sure these words may find themselves heavy on the toes of many who view this blog and admittedly…even this author. In as little as a few seconds we can go from the encourager to the discourager.

On this blog we used many words for the same purpose; to teach, encourage and build someone up. I am often reminded of a song by the Gaither Vocal Band; “Something to Say”

Now I’ve heard some talkers, and I’ve heard some teachers,
I’ve heard some poets, and I’ve heard some preachers,
I’ve sung along with some pretty good singers,
and I’ve been in churches where the sweet Spirit lingers,

But you’ve never lived till the words become the truth,
till forgiveness and mercy mean something to you,
and you’ve never cried, till the tears come from faith,
you’ve never lived till you have something to say,

Words are a mystery we say them so freely,
some can bring heartache, some can bring healing,
sometimes we’re broken, sometimes it’s demanding,
sometimes we just go through it to find understanding,

But you’ve never lived till the words become the truth,
till forgiveness and mercy mean something to you,
and you’ve never cried, till the tears come from faith,
you’ve never lived till you have something to say,

No, you’ve never cried, till the tears come from faith,
you’ve never lived till you have something to say.

We all can relate to the content of this song in one way or another; some talkers, teachers, preachers, good singers, but my… what about those where the sweet spirit lingers. That is the crowd I want to hang with! I’m sure most of the contributors to this site are of the encouraging kind.

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Leading with Fear vs. Leading with Respect

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Fear vs. Respect - 1I think if you boil it down to the lowest common denominator there are two basic leadership styles, Leading with Fear and Leading with Respect. Many people mistake fear for respect, you cannot have both.

Leading and Parenting are not the same thing. Whomever came up with that notion was sadly mistaken, and either had a bad leader, or strange parents. If you treat your followers like children they will not respect you and they may even resent you. No one likes to be treated like a child except an actual child.

There are very few leaders or employers who have enough self-esteem (or maybe self-respect) to follow this. A respect based leader is decent and correct in character and behavior. A respect based employer willingly listens to the complaints of their employees and recognizes that not everything is always perfect.

Fear vs. Respect - 2Very few people in the world are totally honest. People hate honesty as it is a hard pill to swallow. If a leader wants their team to reach its best potential then they must

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Leadership Characteristics

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Leadership Characteristics - 4Whoever first claimed that leadership abhors a vacuum was certainly an insightful person. The glaring absence of direction and decision-making when there is no leader present is a situation that cries out for correction. Whether it is simply a circumstance where someone in the family must decide where they will go for dinner, or the critical moments in a championship game when an individual must step forward and rally the team from near defeat and onward to victory, leaders are needed everywhere. It is virtually impossible to identify a condition in life where some element of leadership is not needed. Because of this overwhelming cry for those who will help point the way, more often than not individuals who had no designs on a leadership role, find themselves serving in influential capacities, rife with demands and expectations; expectations they are little prepared to meet.

While I cannot claim any scientific basis for my findings, I have observed over the course of careers in both the military and ministry that there are a handful of common characteristics found in certain individuals who proved themselves successful in leadership roles and where these same traits are noticeably absent from the lives of those who struggled with the mantel of leadership. In a nutshell, these qualities are: Courage, Tenacity, and a Plan – these are the primary ingredients for any leader.

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