Some Things a Dad Should Teach a Son

Some Things to Teach Your SonI have been thinking a great deal lately about things that I learned from my dad.  He taught me a lot about what it means to be a man who understands the power of commitment. There was never any doubt about his commitment to God, my mom, us kids, his church or his job.  He took the commitments that he made very seriously and did not waver.

Do I ever recall my dad sitting down with me and saying, “Son, here are some things that I need to teach you”.  No, that didn’t happen.  But I picked up a lot of things from him about how to live my life as a man, a husband and a father.  And now, as I reflect on my own experience, I remember

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Where have all the leaders gone?

Where have all the leaders goneI “feel” (and we know how dangerous it is to operate on feelings) that there are fewer leaders now than in days gone by. It may or may not be so. But it seems that is the case. Leaders must be a lot like heroes. I wonder where all of them have gone as well.

One of the characteristics that define a leader is that they are growing and developing leaders around them.

So, what is the point and the leadership principle here?

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The Following Leader

The Following LeaderLeadership is an issue in our culture. Too many people, men and women alike, seem to shrug off their responsibilities allowing others to either carry their weight or simply leaving those in need of their leadership wanting. There is no question this is a problem and thus the purpose of this blog; to encourage purposeful leadership back into our culture. However, in my last post I proposed leading can be done simply by being a follower. You can read the article hereI’d like to build on this thought.

I think too many of us, myself included, see the glory tied to leadership. The praise given, the accolades attributed and then pride happens. And when I’m called upon to follow, I rebel. I may drag my feet, defy guidelines, or inappropriately have the notion I could do better if I were in charge. This type of pride only helps the culture in its downward spiral. We need followers. We need to be followers. We can’t all be leaders, all the time, in every capacity. In some way, you and I are followers right now.

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Soundtracks

Tape RecorderEvery one of us has a soundtrack playing inside our head. It is a recording of the things that people have said to us over the years. For many of us we remember what was said and how it made us feel like it was yesterday. We seem to remember them even though we long to forget them. Many things that were said to us make us sad. Some make us mad.

What does this have to do with fatherhood and leadership in the home?

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Do I really want better vision?

Optometrist ToolEvery couple years I visit the eye doctor for an examination. I am coming to the realization that losing your sight or vision is a natural progression, so it’s important to keep our prescription current on our glasses. Too much strain on the eyes to focus is damaging, so going too long in between examinations will only hurt your overall vision.

The doctor will generally dial in the right numbers on the lenses and ask you which setting looks better. It’s a process you must work with the doctor on so he can find the best prescription setting for you. Endure to the end and it will be worth it.

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Accountability: Two Men on a Roof

man-on-roof

Don Munton is the Singles Minister at Houston’s First Baptist Church. He is a mentor-pastor-friend of mine. Don shares an amazing story with the young single men under his leadership about accountability. He would always preface the story by telling them that a man alone is a man in the danger zone. (Insert images of Maverick and Goose slicing through the skies in an F14.)
Don would tell the story of two men on a roof from two opposite sides of the Bible. In 2 Samuel, we are told the first man was a king. He should have been taking care of kingly duties, like waging a war from the front lines, but instead he was on his roof overlooking his kingdom. Lo and behold, he spots a beautiful woman bathing on her rooftop and he can’t control himself. (In today’s terms, he was browsing the web and stumbled onto a site he could not resist.) He orders the woman to his bed and takes her. (He takes an ad out on Craig’s List and she responds.) Because of this man’s lack of accountability and pride, a husband is murdered, a child dies, a scandal ensues, and a kingdom is almost forfeit.

Fast forward to Mark Chapter 2, we see a paralyzed man being carried by four men to Jesus to be healed. Unfortunately, the crowds around Jesus don’t allow the men to get to the front door. So they carry their paralyzed friend to the roof of the house and begin tearing open the roof to lower their friend to Jesus. (Imagine being in the house and bits and pieces of the ceiling begin falling on you and then a man is lowered on a cot down towards your honored guest.  You look up and think-Someone is paying for that.) Jesus heals the man. Now that man could not have gotten to Jesus without the help of his four friends. He could not have gotten on the roof without their aid.

Now look at the two men. One man was alone…a king…an island onto himself…somewhere he should not have been. And he failed. A momentary lapse in judgment. Where was his support group? Where were the men that would tell him that he needed to be at war and not at home alone on a rooftop?

The paralyzed man is helpless. He was not alone. No delusions of self-sufficiency. The man couldn’t care for himself without the help of others. He gets healed. But let’s look at the faith of his friends. The four men had to carry their buddy through the crowd. They probably had to carry him several blocks out of the way to get to Jesus, climb to a roof, traverse several rooftops, and then tear away a roof knowing Jesus would heal their friend. At any point, the crippled man may have said: “Stop! It’s too much trouble. I’m fine.” I have carried a grown man on a cot over three miles. It is not an easy task.  But the men persevered; they may have even encouraged each other. What an amazing story of friendship and accountability.

Now I don’t have to tell you all the ways men can get into trouble today. We have enough talking heads telling us how bad we men are. So I won’t laundry list you into submission and guilt. You know the list and the proclivities we as men are inclined towards.  So that is why it is so important to have life-minded men in your life to keep you accountable and tell you what you need to hear when you stray and encourage you when you stay true.

Do you have any friend who would carry you toward the Savior when you need Him the most?

Do you have a group of men who struggle and endure with you in your good and bad times?

Or would they allow you to be alone and handle it on your own? Could you be a friend like that to someone?

Find those men. Your life depends on it.

Faster Horses

“If I would have asked people what they wanted, they would have said ‘faster horses’”
Henry Ford

Henry Ford and Faster HorsesWhat a great quote!  And what a great insight into a key leadership trait.  The business community is all about collaboration these days.  And I believe in collaboration.  But, sometimes, a true leader, an innovator like Henry Ford, needs to see far beyond what those around him see.

He didn’t give people what they wanted because they really didn’t know or couldn’t verbalize their need.  Instead, Ford forged ahead and created something that changed the world.  He gave us the first mass produced and affordable automobile.  He gave us mobility and a whole new way of producing goods that had never been employed to that extent before.

And, by the way, it was faster than most horses out there.  Think about that today.

 

Photo credit: brizzle born and bred / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

Fatherhood Friday

Fatherhood Friday 1We seem to be finding our groove.  Blogically speaking, that is.

“Manday” has been a big hit.  Each Monday the blog will focus on manly or manhood issues.  Rene Rivera will lead the charge on that front.  But there may be other voices from time to time if Rene gets too busy keeping us safe from crime here in Houston!

“New Author Tuesday” became “New Author Wednesday” recently.  And it was launched with a lot of traffic as Jamie Read’s article was visited almost 50 times in the first 24 hours.  That is impressive.  I guess these young bloggers have a good handle on social media and she was able to drive considerable interest in the blog.  “Thanks!” Jamie.  And who knows.  We may need to create a “Women’s Wednesday” and move the introduction of new authors to another day.

And today I am launching “Fatherhood Friday”. 

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Lead by Following

Surfer ChicksI have been thinking a lot about this subject: Leadership. The more I’ve tried to wrap my mind around it, the more I’ve come to a conclusion. It may be simple. Common even to some, but here it goes: We are all followers and leaders. In fact, to effectively lead, one must be a capable follower.

Allow me to use my family as an example. I’m a homemaker, a stay-at-home mom, who runs the household affairs. I work to keep our house clean, schedules running smoothly, finances balanced and bellies fed. I forefront the needs at home, while my husband is the spiritual leader of our family; he continually points us to the Lord.  I seek to follow his direction within our family structure, while he strives to follow God in order to lead fruitfully. Without his devotion to the Lord, dedicating his efforts to the One who knows the outcome, his time and attempts to lead would be wasted. So as he leads me and our family, he is following the Lord. As I follow him, he follows God. See how that works?

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Lots of Changes Going On

Changing of the GuardThere are a lot of changes going on at LeadershipVoices.  We are gaining momentum and traffic on the blog is greater than ever.

“Manday” has been a huge success.  Rene Rivera’s recent article has created a little buzz both on the blog and in lots of private conversations.  I think that is a great thing!

What was thought to be “New Author Tuesday” is becoming “New Author Wednesday”.  And tomorrow we will be featuring our first female “voice”.  I hope that each of you will read what she has to say and let it speak to you and see the topic of leadership from a feminine perspective.

And Friday will be the start of a new focus for me.  I plan to create a focus around “Fatherhood” Friday.

Stay tuned!
Photo credit: Gabriel Villena / Foter.com / CC BY