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Our Sons Need Spiritual Foundations and Milestones – Week 1

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Needs - Week 1 - 2Welcome to the first article in a multi-part series that deals with the things that we, as fathers, need to do for our children, model for our children, provide for our children, or give to our children. It is my plan to deal with our children differently. And by “differently” I mean I will deal with them and address my words based upon their gender.

I plan to deal with them on alternating weeks. And, perhaps because my firstborn is a son, I have chosen to address this first article to those of us who have been blessed with a son. And this week I will begin with a moral and Spiritual foundation.

Our sons need a spiritual or moral foundation and they need additional milestones along the way

A Spiritual or moral foundation is vital and it is from that foundation that we build the rest of the processes for decision-making and the subsequent actions based upon those decisions. Milestones are the events, experiences, or habits that you expose him to that help to activate your son’s faith and teach him what it means to live a life that looks out beyond the end of his nose.

There are many upon which I can comment. But, to keep these short (or reasonably short) I will limit them to just these few:

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Leadership Diagnosis by the Post Mortem Method

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Post Mortem Method - 1OK, the title is a little morbid.  But stick with me for a minute or two.  Because I have used this approach many times with clients when I was more actively involved in consulting. This particular approach that I recommend that you try attempts to take a look at what exactly happened during an “event” so that all of the stakeholders can understand it clearly. Not all will see it the same way. But, with enough individual views, a collective view will emerge.

This approach can be particularly helpful when there is already an acknowledgement that there are a number of issues that need to change. This approach requires a high degree of trust among the team because it can naturally focuses on the negative of what took place. It is very similar to the critiques we used to receive in the theater at the end of a performance or a rehearsal. The best critiques included all of the components below:

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What is your position on your team?

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Your Position on the Team - 2A position on a team refers to the joint arrangement of a team on or in it, and to the standardized place of any individual in that arrangement. Much instruction, strategy, and reporting is organized by a set of individual player positions that is standard for the sport.

Or you may prefer the geometrical definition:

In geometry, a position or position vector, also known as location vector or radius vector, is a vector which represents the position of a point P in space in relation to an arbitrary reference origin.

So either way you look at it, your position is your place, your spot, your location. Is it your choice though?

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I am guilty of at least 5 things.

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I am guilty of 5 things - 1Confession is good for the soul, right? If that is true, then here is a confessional moment. I have made many mistakes in the many leadership roles that I have had over the years. Fortunately, I didn’t make all of these at the same time!  And some of them, I still make from time to time.  However, leadership is as much of a journey as it is a destination.  So, I continue on.

Nevertheless, here are a few mistakes that I have learned from. Maybe you will learn from them also.

  1. I have often allowed poor performance from staff when I know they are capable of better performance or more output. So, I ask myself now – Am I  convinced that they are lead-able?

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They Need You

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FF - 20130705 - 1Every man that I know who is a father wants to be a great father. He wants to be a terrific role model whom his children respect and admire.He wants to succeed at what his gut and instinct tells him that it is a tough job.

And the research in this area is very clear: Your children are calling out to you, begging for your attention. The problem is that the call is often disguised as misbehavior or the inability to listen to you or obey you when you speak to them.  The statistics depict the following narrative: When children do not have involved fathers, they do not do as well in school, they are more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol, and be involved with premarital pregnancy. They are more likely to grow to be adults who live in poverty, and they are more likely to turn to crime. And they are almost certain to repeat the cycle with their own children some day.

On the other hand,

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The Founding “Leaders”

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Today we celebrate the 237th anniversary of our declaration of independence.  Today we honor the founding “fathers” of our nation.  I feel like calling them the founding “leaders” today.  I think that sounds appropriate, don’t you?

Declaration of Independence - 1

So, join with me and say “Thank you!” to men like John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and George Washington.

These are the kinds of leaders that we are looking for today.  Do you think there are any more Adams, or Franklins, or Hamiltons, or Jays, or Jeffersons, or Madisons, or Washingtons to be found today?

These men were men just like you and me.  They were business men, soldiers, farmers, and artisans before they were founding fathers.  But something deep inside them longed for freedom and liberty and they decided that it was worth giving up everything that they possessed in order to obtain freedom and liberty for them and their posterity.  For most of them it cost them everything to lead this nation in its infancy.

Something to think about today.

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and the rest of your friends at LeadershipVoices.

 

John Trumbull [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Leading a Team of Leaders

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Leading a Team of Leaders - 1Is one of our jobs as leaders to develop other leaders? I think it may be our most important job. As I strive to be a leader, I often try to use qualities I see in people I consider leaders to complete my objective. As parents are we grooming our children to be good parents? Are we properly grooming our team mates to be leaders someday? I once asked a friend of mine, who is a teacher, how he managed to deal with 20 to 24 high school age kids every day. His response is something that has stuck with me for years, he said “He understands he is nurturing a flower he may never see bloom.” As leaders should that be our mantra? Are we preparing our teams for future leadership?

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Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders – Part 2

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Elected vs Influential - Part 2 - 1I promised a follow-up to my article last week. I was hoping for a little more input from you as fellow leaders before I provided this follow-up piece. But, this issue is once again very relevant to me and some folks that I know.

Many years ago (late 80s and early 90s) I experienced the phenomena of having to deal with “leaders” who were not the elected leaders of an organization. I call them “de facto” leaders. Although they were not elected or officially recognized, they were in fact significant leaders in their own right. And they actually wielded significant power.

The problem was that I didn’t know how to handle or really even recognize this kind of leadership. It was leadership based solely on the individual’s strong personality and influence on the rest of the organization. (Do you recall how John Maxwell defines “Leadership”?) And although he didn’t represent a majority, he represented enough and they were “verbal” enough such that they had to be reckoned with.

So, what did I do with a guy who was content to be the voice of the contrary instead of the voice of the constructive?

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Dan Zevin and Fatherhood Friday

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FF - 20130628 -1

Lately all my friends are worried that are turning into their fathers. I’m worried I’m not.

Dan Zevin

For those of you unfamiliar with Dan Zevin, he is a comedian, commentator and author.  His latest project is Star Vehicle, a YouTube talk show he hosts inside his minivan.  I don’t even know what to say about that last little factoid.

But this I do know.  Who we are has a great deal to do with who we have seen and who has influenced our lives.  Scientists and doctors keep lowering the age at which they can determine real and measurable impact on a child based upon its environment.  This is a sobering thought.  As fathers we sometimes think that our children are unaware of what we, the grownups, say and do.  We sometimes treat our children as though they are deaf and blind until they start school. But we have already imprinted a great deal upon their hearts and minds about what it is to be a man and a father.

So, let’s go back to Zevin’s quote.  And here is the point for Fatherhood Friday.  He clearly had a different imprint on his heart and mind about what being a father is really about.  His friends apparently didn’t like what they saw in their father.  Zevin obviously did.

What about you?  What did you see growing up?  And now, what are your children seeing?

 

Photo credit: Sunfrog1 / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA