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Kevin Bowser

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I am the husband of a beautiful and wonderful woman. I am the father of two of the greatest kids on the planet. I am a father-in-law to a great young woman. And I am Papa to three very special grandchildren. In my spare time I am an active blogger and writer. And if there is any time left over, I work with small non-profit organizations and churches on the topics of change management, crisis intervention and leadership development.

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The Founding “Leaders”

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Today we celebrate the 237th anniversary of our declaration of independence.  Today we honor the founding “fathers” of our nation.  I feel like calling them the founding “leaders” today.  I think that sounds appropriate, don’t you?

Declaration of Independence - 1

So, join with me and say “Thank you!” to men like John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and George Washington.

These are the kinds of leaders that we are looking for today.  Do you think there are any more Adams, or Franklins, or Hamiltons, or Jays, or Jeffersons, or Madisons, or Washingtons to be found today?

These men were men just like you and me.  They were business men, soldiers, farmers, and artisans before they were founding fathers.  But something deep inside them longed for freedom and liberty and they decided that it was worth giving up everything that they possessed in order to obtain freedom and liberty for them and their posterity.  For most of them it cost them everything to lead this nation in its infancy.

Something to think about today.

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and the rest of your friends at LeadershipVoices.

 

John Trumbull [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders – Part 2

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Elected vs Influential - Part 2 - 1I promised a follow-up to my article last week. I was hoping for a little more input from you as fellow leaders before I provided this follow-up piece. But, this issue is once again very relevant to me and some folks that I know.

Many years ago (late 80s and early 90s) I experienced the phenomena of having to deal with “leaders” who were not the elected leaders of an organization. I call them “de facto” leaders. Although they were not elected or officially recognized, they were in fact significant leaders in their own right. And they actually wielded significant power.

The problem was that I didn’t know how to handle or really even recognize this kind of leadership. It was leadership based solely on the individual’s strong personality and influence on the rest of the organization. (Do you recall how John Maxwell defines “Leadership”?) And although he didn’t represent a majority, he represented enough and they were “verbal” enough such that they had to be reckoned with.

So, what did I do with a guy who was content to be the voice of the contrary instead of the voice of the constructive?

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Dan Zevin and Fatherhood Friday

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FF - 20130628 -1

Lately all my friends are worried that are turning into their fathers. I’m worried I’m not.

Dan Zevin

For those of you unfamiliar with Dan Zevin, he is a comedian, commentator and author.  His latest project is Star Vehicle, a YouTube talk show he hosts inside his minivan.  I don’t even know what to say about that last little factoid.

But this I do know.  Who we are has a great deal to do with who we have seen and who has influenced our lives.  Scientists and doctors keep lowering the age at which they can determine real and measurable impact on a child based upon its environment.  This is a sobering thought.  As fathers we sometimes think that our children are unaware of what we, the grownups, say and do.  We sometimes treat our children as though they are deaf and blind until they start school. But we have already imprinted a great deal upon their hearts and minds about what it is to be a man and a father.

So, let’s go back to Zevin’s quote.  And here is the point for Fatherhood Friday.  He clearly had a different imprint on his heart and mind about what being a father is really about.  His friends apparently didn’t like what they saw in their father.  Zevin obviously did.

What about you?  What did you see growing up?  And now, what are your children seeing?

 

Photo credit: Sunfrog1 / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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Leadership and Values

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Great Man LeaderThere is a theory of leadership known as the “great man” theory. It states that great leaders are simply more “heroic” than others. And further, their innate qualities, skills or abilities enable them to shape their world. But this theory is too simplistic and it ignored the evidence that sometimes leaders are developed in the crucible of crisis. This second situation has its own set of statements supporting that theory of leadership.

But, for purposes of today’s thoughts, I want to focus on the “heroic” nature of leadership. I choose to use a word like “heroic” because it connotes a certain values based approach to leadership. Far too often folks discuss leadership in a “value vacuum”. In my view this is not only incorrect, it is ultimately very harmful to the organization that has leaders who act outside of values and ethics.

Values are an integral part of good leadership. To be a true leader, you must

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Shake it. Don’t Break it.

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You wouldn’t think this sort of article would be necessary, would you?  Unfortunately, it is.  It seems that men shaking hands is a bit of a lost art.

Consider the handshake.  Historical customs indicate that the handshake is commonly done upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations, expressing gratitude, or completing an agreement. In sports or other competitive activities, it is also done as a sign of good sportsmanship. Its purpose is to convey trust, balance, and equality.

So, let’s start with the basics.

Handshake 1This is a handshake.

Handshake 2This is not.

Handshake 3Neither is this.

Handshake 5I don’t even know what this is!

The importance of a good, strong, firm handshake cannot be overstated. When you shake hands with a man you figure out pretty quickly what kind of man you’re dealing with. If you are dealing with a confident man, a serious man, and a man not to be “trifled” with you will receive a solid, firm and strong handshake and you will receive direct eye-contact. If you experience something other than that, you may have doubts about the person you are greeting.

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Leadership and Conflict

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Conflict and Leadership - 1I have been thinking a lot lately about conflict and conflict resolution. I think we can all agree that some level of conflict is unavoidable. However, how we face it and resolve that conflict says a great deal about our own leadership styles and abilities.

Consider the following statement by Warren Bennis, one of the foremost writers on leadership and organizational and management theory.

“Leaders do not avoid, repress, or deny conflict, but rather see it as an opportunity.”

Leaders, this is one of your primary responsibilities. You cannot delegate this. Nor can you pretend that conflicts do not occur within your organization. I have spent much of my adult life working in the corporate world during the week and serving in a non-profit and volunteer organization on weeknights and weekends. And conflict is common to all organizations. Yes, even within churches and religious organizations. But you, as leaders, have the responsibility to sense conflict at its earliest stages and resolve it before it affects the entire organization.

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Sunshine and Sleepless Nights

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Sunshine and Sleepless Nights - 1I remember when our children were very young. One woke up laughing, the other, not so much. For those of you who know my family, I will leave you to guess which child responded with laughter and which responded with tears.

And I remember trying to teach them to sleep through the night. (Of course I also remember setting up a borrowed video camera and recording our first born while he slept. Pretty exciting video, isn’t it?  But we were brand new parents.) But the process of training them to sleep through the night and go back to sleep when their little bodies awoke in the middle of the night was hard. There was a huge part of me that wanted to just pick them up and bring them into our bed and snuggle.  It seemed that between my wife and I, only one of us would have the strength to deal with the crying.  One of us would begin to cave in and the other would be strong.  Then the roles would reverse.  And on it went for days and days until we finally made it through the night.

Why wouldn’t I want to scoop them up and feed them every time they cried? Or why wouldn’t I bring them into our bed to sleep? Because, they were growing bigger, and they no longer needed to eat every two to three hours, and it would ultimately hurt them and be bad for them if we allowed them to never establish a healthy sleep pattern. They needed sleep, I needed sleep. Heaven only knows their mother needed sleep!

So, what is the leadership principle for Fatherhood Friday?

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Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders

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Elected vs Influential - 1Here is challenge that you may have to face at some point in your leadership career. You will encounter two types of leaders. Elected leaders and Influential leaders.

Have you ever considered these two types? If not, consider them now.

Elected leaders are the ones that we may be familiar with the most. It is reasonably clear how they became leaders. Someone recognized leadership ability within them. The organization then went on and nominated or appointed them to a position of responsibility and leadership. That is fairly clear cut. Ability was recognized and a position was attained. This is generally a good model and it produces good results.

Elected vs Influential - 2Now consider the second type – the Influential leader. This person generally does not have real leadership skills. Yet they have a position of leadership in spite of it. They generally attain the position through shear force of personality.  That may be just a euphemism for being a bully. But that is not always the case. Sometimes it is because they possess a specialized skill.  Sometimes they attain it through longevity within the organization. Sometime they attain the role of leader through fame, notoriety, family or financial position. These are the leaders that are difficult to work with or work for.

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That Kind of Father

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Last week I asked the audience to submit a story about their father or being a father.  It could be serious or it could be funny.  In the end, I chose the following.  It is short and slightly poignant.

I am told of a dad who had to travel on business a lot when his two children were very young. It seems he would leave early in the work week and return late in the week. Some times his travels took him just far enough to make it too far to come home at night, but close enough to make it home sometimes in the middle of the week. One week he had to travel by plane even though it was just a two day trip.

Welcome Home DaddyNow he loved his children and his children loved him. How do we know that? Well consider this little situation as an example.

Although he had only been away from home for less than 48 hours, when his youngest saw the door to the jetway open, his youngest son broke loose from his mother’s grip and ran up the ramp and into his father’s arms. This startled the stewardess greatly and she asked the embarrassed mother just how long the little tike’s father had been away from home. She was expecting the mother to say that it had been many weeks since her sons had seen their Daddy. Imagine her surprise when the mother told her it had just been two days!

Now I don’t know about you. But I want to be the kind of Dad that is on the receiving end of that kind of greeting from my children. How about you?  Are your children excited when you come home at the end of the day?

Happy Father’s Day from the Entire LeadershipVoices Team

 

Photo credit: Michael D. Dunn / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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Choices and Perspective

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FF - 20130614 - 1You walk in the door from a very long day of work.  It is hot and you are tired.

Child: “Hey Daddy! Wanna play hide and go sneak?”

Father (Thinking to himself): “Um . . .  No, not really.  I have been at work all day and all I really want to do is sit down, watch the news and catch a few innings of the baseball game.”

Father (In reality): “Of course!  I was hoping to get to do that tonight!” (At what age do you think kids start to understand sarcasm?)

Maybe you are a better father than me.  Maybe you never had the the kinds of thoughts that popped in my head from time to time when my children were young.  But, I was always pretty sure that I know where my child was going to hide — under the bed — again.  Just like the last time we played.  And the time before that.

But here is where I get to make a choice.  Will I choose to make this about me? Or about my child?  And from whose perspective will I view this request.

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