Category Archives: Fatherhood

Posted on

Am I getting old?

by

John StromanI remember when my father-in-law was alive.  His name was John.  But he was known to us as “Grandaddy”.  He was a great man.  He was a smart man.  Better yet, he was a wise man.

I have only recently lived anywhere close to where my own father lives.  And we have lived close to my father-in-law for many years, so I have often gone to my father-in-law with questions that a young husband or father would normally take to his own father.  John was older.  John was wiser.  — I think those two things just might go hand-in-hand.

I noticed several years ago that some younger men were starting to come to me for advice from time to time.  Some of them just wanted to bounce their ideas off of someone.  It sort of just began happening over time.  I didn’t seek it out.  It just started occurring.   This is a troubling realization!

Then it hit me.  They were

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Breakfast was served!

by

DSC_0186

It was great to be a man this morning and to be a part of a great fellowship breakfast.  All I can say is that if you are local to Houston, TX and you missed it, then you really missed it!  Our own Rene Rivera spoke to a group of 35 men of all ages this morning on the subject of Biblical Manhood and Accountability.  And he was spot on!  His use of the term “Life-minded” is something that I hope he will develop further for our audience.

What this culture needs above almost all else is strong Godly men to lead their families.  Men who realize that this is not a sled dog race and that we don’t lead from the back.

DSC_0171

But the day would not have happened if it hadn’t been for the vision of Billy Long, Randy Meekes and a few others at our first Author’s Breakfast a few weeks ago.  Six men met at a Denny’s on a Saturday recently to strategize and plan for the development and growth of LeadershipVoices.  One of the things that was clear that morning was that there is a need for men to meet together and fellowship.  And today certainly proved it as we experienced this morning.

One of the things that came out of this morning is a new focus area for the blog.  Rene will be moving his posting activity from Thursdays and will launch what we are tentatively calling “Manhood Monday” this coming Monday.  Each week he will develop some tidbit that can be used to make us men better leaders in our homes, jobs, churches and in our culture.  I am looking forward to what Rene brings to the blog each week.  What about you?

If you have an idea for a better title than Manhood Monday then reply  or comment with your idea.

 

Posted on

Financier, Friend or Father — Part Three

by

father-son-13_lIn parts one and two we looked at two of the many roles that a father plays.  We looked at him as financier where he has a role in being a provider for the family.  But we saw that being a provider is not what our family needs from us the most.  We then looked at his role as a friend and how hard it is to be something much more than our child’s buddy.  In this, our last installment of the series, I want to explore the most important role that a man will play in life and his relationship to his children.

Father – “Father knows best.”

>Boy, I really wish this last statement were true 100% of the time.  We all know it isn’t.  But at the end of the day, we are responsible.  President Harry S Truman said, “The buck stops here.”  And the “buck” of responsibility stops with the father.  Another way of looking at it is this.  “We may not always be right, but we are always the parent.”  And we need to act accordingly.  We need to step up and make the tough decisions.  We need to make decisions that may be unpopular with our children.  And we will make some bad decisions.  And when we make a bad decision or a mistake, we need to acknowledge it.  Our children will not lose respect for us when we admit a mistake.  In fact, the opposite is true.  They will come to respect us even more by seeing that we love and respect them enough to acknowledge when we have failed them.Father and Son Blurred

I think homes in America today are places of “Fatherhood Vacuums”.  Divorce has ravaged our families, our homes and our society.  And so often, Mom has had to step in to fill the void left by an absent father.  There can even be fatherhood voids in homes where the father still remains.  How tragic is that when a father is present physically but absent emotionally?

So what is my point today? 

My point is this.  Is it my role primarily to provide for the needs of my family if possible?  Absolutely!  But that is not the most important role that I have.  Is it my role to be a friend to my children and build a relationship of closeness and camaraderie?  Absolutely!  But of the three roles, financier, friend and father, being a real father is the most important of them all.

Go be a “father” today!

Photo credit: Thomas Leuthard / Foter.com / CC BY
Photo credit: Tojosan / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Posted on

Accountability. Who needs it? (Part One)

by

IMAG0056b

Every man needs accountability.  Not the “Gotcha! Now I’m gonna beat you up!” variety that we so fondly remember.  This variety leads to legalism and checklist spirituality.    Eric Reed, Minister to Men at Houston’s First Baptist Church stated it best, “Men need an accountability that is voluntarily entered into and focused on unleashing each man into the vision that God is calling him.”

The result is not being beat down, but being built up. The Bible calls this edification.

This accountability can be elusive.  Many men find accountability so frustrating because we have a tendency to cling to those individuals who flatter and rationalize our actions.  They tell us what we want to hear not what we need to hear.

Conversely, we find

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Advice to a Thirteen Year Old Boy

by

 Father-and-son-playing-001

 My youngest son is turning thirteen years old in February.

As a family, we perform a Manhood Ceremony for our boys.

Two years ago, we had a very intimate family gathering where we presented our oldest several items signifying his journey into Manhood.  These items are reminders of his role as a Man and some were challenges as he grows in adulthood.

The evening was amazing.  Parents and grandparents prayed and bestowed gifts to our oldest on his birthday.  As a father, I passed on the blessing to my first born.  I gave him permission to pursue Biblical manhood and I promised to be there to guide him.

One item I gave my oldest was

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Financier, Friend or Father — Part Two

by

Friend - JumpWe recently looked at the role that we play as a financier for the family.  And that role is important.  But consider part two of this three part series.

Friend – “Hey, who is your buddy?”

One of the other traps we fall into is the trap of trying to be a buddy or pal to our child rather than being their father.  And the reason we do is fairly obvious.  It is much easier to be a friend than it is to be a father.  And besides, who doesn’t want to be a pal or to have a pal?  The problem is

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Posted on

Financier, Friend or Father — Part One

by

Money TreeAs Dads, we have a lot of roles to play as part of our overall responsibility to the family.  This is especially true when it comes to the relationship that we have with our children.  In a brief three part series I plan to consider three particular roles that we play in our children’s lives.

Financier – “What am I made of?  Money?”

I think one of the things that is the hardest for us to understand early in the life of our family is understanding what level of importance to place on the role of money within the family.  And one of the traps that young fathers fall into is the trap of

Click here to read the rest of the article »