Category Archives: Leadership Traits

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Developing Followers

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Developing Followers - 1In leadership we are seeking to help the people we are leading discover their purpose and potential. Each leader also may have certain goals, objectives and processes that they are supposed to meet and follow-through on, however the ultimate objective of leadership is the development of our followers.

As leaders we need to engage, equip and empower. As leaders, our followers need to know that we care, that we are available to them, that what we offer is to help them and open new doors for them. In an overly-simplistic reductionism I would assert that leadership is about the people and management is about the work. In other words our leadership ought to be for the development of followers (their lives, abilities, skill-set and productivity) but our management ought to focused on company/organization objectives, benchmarks, action-steps and of course the bottom-line.

Follow the LeaderWe need to lead in such a way that our followers know

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Fatherhood Friday: Negotiating

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Negotiation - 1Let me say up front that I negotiate for a living. That is one of the main functions that I perform on a daily basis. So you would think I would be good at it. Some days you would be right. Some days you would be wrong.

As I write this I am currently enjoying the pitter-patter of some additional little feet in my house. And it is a blessing that is beyond belief. I am so thankful to get to be an influence in these children’s lives in the absence of a real father figure in their lives.

And I think I am a little more observant at this point in my life than I was when I was younger and raising my own two children. I don’t recall someone flipping a switch and one of my grandchildren suddenly embracing the “terrible twos.” It’s almost like she was reading a magazine article written by another toddler that inspired her to begin consistently using the word “No”, or reverting to guttural grunts instead of using her incredible vocabulary.  But a switch has been flipped.

Negotiation - 2Now I’m not a pediatric psychologist or anything, but I’m sure this is all part a child’s natural development – she’s developing her own independent personality and part of that is testing boundaries and also understanding the dynamic between a stimulus and a reaction. Having said this, as parents (and even as a grandparent living in the same house), it doesn’t mean we have to like it.

Also at play here is a paradox that all father’s struggle with – trying to balance protecting a child from getting hurt versus consciously allowing them to fall or get hurt so they can learn more about those boundaries that we have established for them and that they are constantly testing. During the first two years of childhood this balance is not overly difficult to manage – for most of the first year you allow your baby to develop their neck muscles, try to crawl, hold a bottle, and finally walk on their own. Sure, there’s some steps you can take to prevent unneeded injury, like adding table bumpers, but overall the baby needs to learn how to execute these essential tasks.

Fast forward to age 2 where there is much more advanced control of motor skills.  But these little ones are still constantly teetering on the edge of serious injury. With this new physical competence there is also an ever-maturing personality and one that is determined to get exactly what they want all the time. As a parent, we of course know what is best for our children, particularly in the area of what actions will end up with a gaping wound, broken limb and a trip to the emergency room.

Negotiation - 3But we struggle knowing when to let them figure things out for themself and allowing them to fall, experience pain, cry a little, but hopefully learn a valuable lesson as a result. With that said it is also important for our children to learn what is right and wrong based on our guidance, feedback, and instructions.

This will ultimately end up being an important life-lesson. As good parents we would never dream of letting her try cocaine one day just so she can experience the side effects and learn on her own how harmful cocaine can be.

So what is the point on Fatherhood Friday? 

Dealing with an energetic and bright toddler requires parents to enhance their negotiating skills. Why?

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Leadership and “Coasting”

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Coasting - 1Is it ever OK to just coast along for a while?

That is the question that I am pondering this morning.  You see, I am tired.  I am probably not near as tired as some of you.  But I am still tired.

I am thinking right now of a young man who is probably the hardest working guy that I know.  He is up very early every morning and heads out the door long before the sun is even thinking of rising.  I am thinking of a single mom who is doing a great job with a couple of very “energetic” children.

I can only imagine how tired they must be.

I have just finished a very busy phase of a major project that I am working on.  I have a very busy and hectic schedule for the next few weeks.  And then I will have some down time between projects.  But right now, all I want to do is stop peddling and coast for a while.

Do you ever feel that way?  Is ”coasting” ever an option for leaders?  Is it ever acceptable to just to just put things on autopilot and let things run on their own for a while?  If so, how long is an acceptable time to coast?

Coasting - 2Here are my thoughts.

It is physically impossible to be a hard charger every moment of every day.  As leaders we must have some down time.  Perhaps this is the strongest argument for developing young leaders around us. 

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Leadership and Self-Control

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Self-Control - 1For the past few months I have been kind of “looking inward” at myself. You know having some of those internal discussions with yourself, lying in bed at night, or on your drive to or from the office. I have been thinking a lot about my family, my past and what our future may hold. During one of these discussions with myself, I started thinking about my flaws, yes friends; believe it or not I have flaws. I know that may come as a shock to a few of you that know me, but it is true. The flaw I struggle with the most is self-control.

Now I wanted to discuss this because I think it is the most detrimental flaw for a leader to have because I think there is some “trickle-down effect” to their followers. In this case I refer especially to our families. What I have begun to realize is my lack of self-control has begun to rub off on my wife and kids. So maybe what I have done here is discovered a Leadership series that should be called Leadership Behaviors, hopefully Kevin won’t read this and ask me to do that.

The more I think about this the more interested in discovering a solution so I thought I would go dig around on the old “inner web thing” and see what others thought. What I found is it must be a pretty common problem and here are what I am going to call the “Four Cs” of learning self control, tell me what you think.

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The Importance of Perception

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Importance of Perception - 1“It is more important to the rest of the world that your American president appear or be or be perceived to be a leader than for him to actually be a leader.”

This was a statement made by some colleagues at dinner the other night. I have been in Spain for most of this past week on a business trip. And all of my colleagues are not from the United States. One was from New Zealand, one was from Belgium, one was from the U.K., and the folks we were meeting were all from Spain. So, I tried to keep my mouth shut as much as possible lest I create an inter nation incident!

But I am struck by this question: What are the implications of this kind of thinking?

This was a painful thought for me to consider and it has been on my mind since the moment that one of them said it to me.

What does that mean about leadership?  Is that a statement about political leadership in particular? Is any part of that sentiment true?  What about your leadership role?

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Leading “As one with authority”

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Authority - 20140619 - 1“As one with authority”

“They were amazed at his teaching.” “He taught as one with authority and not as their teachers.” These words were spoken about Jesus. Some of His first words to certain people were: “Follow Me”. Jesus came as a leader. He led people in a different way than the scribes of the people. The crowds looked at Jesus amazed and struck by the fact that He taught as one with authority.

Have you noticed a difference between two people speaking the same message? I mean, they are speaking on the same topic, referencing the same points and principles, and yet the way in which they are received is as different as night and day? This was the case when the people compared Jesus and the scribes of His day. What the scribes went around teaching was considered accurate and truthful. The scribes were speaking words that everyone knew and yet their words had little impact. These teachers were ineffective and their words did not astonish or amaze and were not words of authority. And yet their words were derived from the same book, the same premise, the same story. What was different?

Authority - 20140619 - 2We have many people today who are in positions of leadership and yet have no authority. People aren’t clamoring to hear what they have to say and aren’t traveling miles (in Jesus’ case, miles by foot!) to sit under their instruction or guidance. Why is that? Could it be that we don’t have authority? Could it be that there is something missing within us? Could it be that there is nothing wrong with our subject matter or technical presentation but rather something broken in our character, motive and/or passion? Why did people run to Jesus and not to scribes of His day? Why did people run to Jesus but don’t similarly run to church today? What’s missing?

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Manday: Sometimes Good People Have Bad Days

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faking smart parking

Conversation with a child in one of the many crime ridden apartment complexes I patrol.
Child: “You only arrest bad people right, Mr. Officer?”
Me: “Yes. I do.”
Child: “Do you like to arrest bad people?”
Me: “No. I don’t like arresting people. It’s not fun.”
Child: “Then why did my Momma get arrested last week?”
Me: “What’s your name, son?” (As I go to one knee to talk to the child on his level.)
Child: “Joowan.”
Me: “Joowan? Is your Momma a bad person?”
Joowan: “No. No she isn’t. She loves me.”
Me: “Well, Joowan. I believe you. But…sometimes good people have bad days.”
Joowan: “Yeah. She was having a bad day.”
Me: “I believe you, Joowan. I believe you.”

I posted that story on Facebook over two months ago.  Everyone thought I was Saint or a wise old Yoda.  In that moment, I felt compassion for the child and candidly it was self-preservation for the future cop that would meet this young Joowan when he hated the world and knew all the answers.  Have I always responded with this inspired wisdom and counsel?  No.  As I write this, my head is shaking at the numerous times I have thought-then-said the first thing that comes to mind.  I consider those moments missed opportunities.

I don’t know why good people have bad days.  I don’t know why decent men and women find themselves in the throes of divorce, or why hard workers lose their only source of income or why a young child has to undergo chemotherapy for a chance to live.  I have an idea.  As Leaders, I believe it is an opportunity to respond. How we respond as leaders and men can determine our metal.  It can provide followers peace and solace in troubled times.

Let me share one more story with you.

I was dispatched to an accident.  A woman with a suspended drivers license attempted to pull into a parking space in front of a store.  Somehow, she accelerated and crashed into a fully customized Ford Mustang.  The impact was so intense that the Mustang was pushed up onto the curb and into the building entering the store.  On its journey toward the storefront it destroyed another vehicle parked next to it.  Glass windows and merchandise were destroyed but only the front of the vehicle was in the store.  The Mustang was wrecked. No one was injured. Everyone in the store was safe.  (BTW-The Mustang had its parking brake set.)

The owner of the Mustang was having a bad day.  We quickly learned that the car was his hobby and he poured a lot of T.L.C. and money into it.  I watched him.  He was all business.  He took control of his environment and lead.  He was calm and concerned about everyone’s well being.  Somehow, his friends showed up and they expressed anger and sadness for his vehicle being damaged.  Then I saw disdain and hatred on their faces for the woman who caused the accident.  He wasn’t offended but they weren’t going to miss a chance to be offended, hurt, and angry for him.  The owner of the Mustang was oblivious to all this and his friends were attempting to get him fired up like a posse.  I saw an opportunity, I intervened.

Me: “It’s a good thing you were parked here sir.”
Mustang: “Hmmm. I can fix the car.”
Me: “Think about it. If this space had been empty, she may have driven into the store and hurt someone.”
Mustang: “Oh my god, you’re right.”
Me: “I can honestly say that you, your Mustang, and your choice of parking spaces saved lives today.  If she had not hit your car who knows what damage she would have caused in the store.  Your car stopped her from entering the store and hurting shoppers.”
Mustang: “Thank you, Officer. I feel so much better knowing that.  Did you hear that the Officer said if my car wasn’t parked here, someone could have been hurt or worse.”

The posse was dispersed and crisis averted.  Opportunity seized.   It may sound like I’m tooting my own horn but I want to share with you that leadership will emerge in times of chaos and crisis.

How you respond will determine if you are the Shepherd or the Sheep.  Think before you speak and take action.  Do not miss opportunities to lead.

 

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New Words for New Situations

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New Words - 1What makes our words powerful and effective? What we say, combined with how we live can together offer a synergistic force that can literally change the world (or at least the world around us). So if we are trying to help people become all that they can be, what words should we use and how can we redeem or replace words that have become ineffective or tired and worn-out?

The reason why our words become tired and worn out is because people have heard the claims before and have also seen a lack of follow-through, a lack of consistency and lack of integrity in the lives of those who speak the words. So first of all the simple (and yet not at all easy) reality is that our words will carry weight if our lives are in agreement with our words. If we live what we preach people will take note. If we speak what we mean and mean what we speak. If we follow through on our promises and commitments, if we back up our promises with actions, people will begin to notice. Our words are so often received with skepticism because people have been burned before and are hoping not to have it happen again. If you want to be an effective leader and have them believe your words, you must be a consistent and faithful person full of honesty, integrity and follow-through.

New Words - 2The reason our words become ineffective is because we are addressing things that are no longer an issue or of importance to the people we are leading.

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The Importance of Order

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imageI was reminded again last night about the importance of order and decluttering in the life of a leader.  Clutter and the lack of order steals our attention and robs from us the ability to focus on the tasks that we need to accomplish.

That was one of the points in Rodney Mills‘ Personal Mastery Plan Workshop that I attended last night.  It was an awesome experience and it has caused me to re-examine some aspects of my life that I have not examined in quite some time.

imageLate last evening following the workshop, my daughter snapped a photo of me in my little home office and it has caused me to think and schedule some time to declutter my workspace at home.

Creativity and inspiration flow better for me when I have an open and clear work environment.  The more papers and old magazines and cables and chargers that are surrounding me, the harder it is for me to write and think.

So, what is the leadership point?

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Coming Attractions: Leadership Language

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CA - Language - 1As a leader, am I hanging on to the past or am I grabbing on to the future?

This is an important question to consider because it speaks to our nature, to our ability to change, and to our willingness to adapt in order to become an effective leader. It also speaks to the everchanging landscape of language when it comes to leadership.

In the coming days I will be taking a look at leadership and the language of leadership. Some will call this language “buzzwords” and they would be correct. And although I think that there is more to leadership than language, language is vital as it is the most common medium of communication. And it is the shared language of the communicator and the “communicate-ee” that facilitates the transmission, reception and the all important feedback loop.

CA - Language - 2Are there leadership terms that are standing the test of time? If so, what are they? Are there leadership words that have faded with the whims of pop culture?

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