I have found myself doing some internal reflection lately. I have figured out, that for me to be effective as a leader, I need to be able to lead myself. And, no I don’t mean this as another do as I do kind of article.

The truth is I have always wanted to help others, but I haven’t always made them a priority. I have always wanted to be a hard conscientious worker, but sometimes I let the wrong things take up the majority of my time. I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on some observations. I have done some research and I want to share some of my findings.

What I’ve learned is, that unless you’re able to lead yourself, you won’t be effective in leading others. You can certainly inspire them or you can entertain them, but to take them places they can’t go by themselves, they have to want to follow you. And like it or not, your example speaks louder than your words. Your example impacts your followers desire to follow you and it impacts the model of work that they adopt. My hard work begets hard work in those following me.

I like to compare leading yourself to riding a bicycle. To go anywhere, you have to remember four principles:

Kickstand principle:  You don’t go anywhere on a bicycle with your kickstand down. You have to kick it up and get on the bike. This is the only way to defeat the law of inertia. Leaders have to have purpose to get going. The have to put themselves in motion.  So many people are waiting for God to tell them what to do. God is usually waiting for us to look at what he already told us to do and start doing something, anything.

Remember when you were young and you could hear a song, or watch a movie (like Rocky) and be extremely motivated?

I was so motivated by Rocky that at the age of nine, I asked for boxing gloves, and proceeded to challenge an older and bigger kid to a boxing match. Needless to say he kept asking if he could stop beating the literal snot out of me, but I thought I was Rocky, and would win in the end. I didn’t. So while motivation can be good, it can also make you get the snot the beat out you.

The other thing I learned is outside motivation doesn’t last. In other words, even if you motivate another individual as a leader, it will only last a short while, and something inside of them has to take over to keep it going, or it’s just a peak in an otherwise very long valley. I learned a long time ago that you might be able to inspire someone for a little while with words, but if they do not have the fire inside of them for whatever it is they are doing, the fire will go out, and you are back to square one.

I also learned this about myself.  

Leaders provide vision and a well-considered direction to reach a common goal. A Master of Ceremonies just announces that it is time to dance.

I run in to a lot of folks who look and act like MCs in my daily activities. But I see very few real leaders. Most of what I see looks more like being a master of ceremonies where the key concern is keeping everyone happy at the party and keeping the proverbial drinks flowing.

Let’s compare and contrast those two individuals for a few moments. What do each of them really do?  And what can we learn from looking at each of them?

Scripts

Masters of Ceremony usually have a script that they are following. The really good ones make everything they do seem as though what they are saying and doing is flowing from a sense of spectacular spontaneity. Pace and humor are very important to a good MC.  Pace and humor are important skills for leaders. But they are the stock and trade of a good MC.

By contrast, leaders don’t always have a script to follow. Or if they do, they are writing it as they go along. Leaders are actually directing the flow of events with their voice, their presence and their example.

I know there have been many articles written about the subject of “listening” in leadership, but, today I would like to explore the topic some more.

How interesting it is that we use the title “Leadership Voices”. One may suggest that when using this title that someone is actually reading, or “listening” to the messages contained in our material. Hopefully that is the case.

Personally, I have found when communicating with many who are in leadership positions they may listen to what is being said, but may not HEAR what is being said. Our society has arrived at an age when we feel every word spoken should be interpreted, and while  “listening” we are actively trying to interrupt what is said. I feel this is a grave mistake for leaders!

These comments are not intended to diminish the impact a conversation has when vision casting, but rather I hope to help us exercise caution in our interactions with those we lead. Essentially the true intent of our conversations with whom we lead should be nothing less than building a stronger relationship that allows us as leaders to develop the true potential of those we lead.

Think for a moment about how you would want to be listened to. Do you want to be heard?

What characteristics of listening do you exhibit that would make anyone want to follow you?