Men,
I would share it this way…
…aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
Category Archives: Manday
Roles and Responsibilities – Money
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I have been accused often of taking an approach that is too “business-like”. I like to take an analytical look at the world around me and my environment. That works well in the office environment. But folks tend not to like it very much when I am consulting with small churches about why they are still small and the others around them are growing. This same approach sometimes extends to my personal life.
One of the basic tenets of effectively executing a business objective is the correct identification and assignment of the roles and responsibilities of the members of the team. You may have a top performer in one area, but if they are assigned to an area that is not a strong suit, then things may not go as well as you would like. Of course they can use the assignment to “stretch” them and give them a valuable learning experience. But, you will usually not get optimal performance out of them in that situation.
So, this is “Manday”. What does this article have to do with that?
There are many roles and responsibilities that are often socially assumed to be the domain of us as men. One of the common ones is the handling of money. Many times we are the provider of the largest portion of the family income and it is easy to assume that we should then handle it and manage the disbursements to all of the family bills and obligations. That makes sense, right?
No always!
This is an area that we as men need to take a real hard look at and discuss with our wives whether or not it really should be our primary role and responsibility. In many marriages there are a myriad of things that one partner is good at and the other is not. And the handling of the family budget is usually one of them. But it is also one that carries with it the burden of a traditional or social norm that it is the man’s job to handle the money.
I challenge you as a man today to examine this vital role and responsibility within your family. Are you the best one for the job? If so, do it with diligence. If you are not, then delegate it decisively.
I want to make one final point. This is not a “free pass” to totally abdicate any responsibility for the hard work of managing the family budget. This is especially true when the outflow exceeds the income. No one likes paying the bills when there is not enough to go around. So, in those tough situations, work together to establish the priorities and establish a spending plan that both of you agree to completely. Then, the one with the role and responsibility of executing that plan can do so with the full knowledge and support of the other.
Happy “Tax Day” everyone!
Photo credit: teamjenkins / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
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Accountability: A New Methodology
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Two weeks ago, I mentioned the importance of having someone’s back when it came to accountability. I wanted to propose a new methodology when thinking of men’s small groups of accountability.
What if a group of three to six men were committed to come together regularly to pursue life transformation through prayer, Bible Study, transparent connection, and life-minded accountability? Could lives be changed? How about current and future marriages? Could family trees be forever changed? Could Fathers become daddies? Could leaders be transformed?
Duh, yes.
What if we called this methodology something like GM6? GM6 equals Got My Six. But who cares about the name. We just didn’t want to call it Men’s Macrame Class. We could call it Fight Club for all I care. (In reality, you are fighting for your lives and families.)
So let’s complicate this thing for the sake of conversation and because we are men. GM6 could be applied to whatever curriculum, content, or life-event chosen. It is specific in that all its parts must be present to be GM6 but not all present at the same time. It is a process to
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Accountability: I Got Your Back, Bro!
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I have had the amazing opportunity to hang out with Operators. Those amazing men who have gone to sandy places, slept in foxholes, and returned to tell amazing stories of battle. Every chance they get they share stories of camaraderie and close calls.
In those stories, I would hear a recurring theme. Trust. How each operator had each other’s back. They were constantly checking each others “six”. SIX-An old aviation term to look behind you (“your 6 o’clock” referring to the relative location of a threat with 12 o’clock being directly in front of you).
In my current profession, I have to constantly keep looking over my shoulder. Fortunately, when I’m in the field, I have a partner that helps me and has my six. And in return, I cover my partner.
In our daily lives, as we bumble through life, it is good to surround yourself with trustworthy men that will have your back. Men you can trust to guard you from the many pitfalls of life and help you get to your next objective.
As you strive to be a leader to your family, friends, and co-workers yield yourself to the cover of others and in return cover their six.
In the weeks to come, I want to propose/share a new way of retooling men’s small groups with you. Not a curriculum, not a program, but a methodology. (GREAT! A new men’s small group technique. HOLD ON, Mr. Skeptical.) A methodology to achieve life transformation…to be a better man/leader than you were yesterday.
Don’t worry. It may hurt a little. But the rewards are awesome. And I got your back, Bro!
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Accountability: Two Men on a Roof
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Don Munton is the Singles Minister at Houston’s First Baptist Church. He is a mentor-pastor-friend of mine. Don shares an amazing story with the young single men under his leadership about accountability. He would always preface the story by telling them that a man alone is a man in the danger zone. (Insert images of Maverick and Goose slicing through the skies in an F14.)
Don would tell the story of two men on a roof from two opposite sides of the Bible. In 2 Samuel, we are told the first man was a king. He should have been taking care of kingly duties, like waging a war from the front lines, but instead he was on his roof overlooking his kingdom. Lo and behold, he spots a beautiful woman bathing on her rooftop and he can’t control himself. (In today’s terms, he was browsing the web and stumbled onto a site he could not resist.) He orders the woman to his bed and takes her. (He takes an ad out on Craig’s List and she responds.) Because of this man’s lack of accountability and pride, a husband is murdered, a child dies, a scandal ensues, and a kingdom is almost forfeit.
Fast forward to Mark Chapter 2, we see a paralyzed man being carried by four men to Jesus to be healed. Unfortunately, the crowds around Jesus don’t allow the men to get to the front door. So they carry their paralyzed friend to the roof of the house and begin tearing open the roof to lower their friend to Jesus. (Imagine being in the house and bits and pieces of the ceiling begin falling on you and then a man is lowered on a cot down towards your honored guest. You look up and think-Someone is paying for that.) Jesus heals the man. Now that man could not have gotten to Jesus without the help of his four friends. He could not have gotten on the roof without their aid.
Now look at the two men. One man was alone…a king…an island onto himself…somewhere he should not have been. And he failed. A momentary lapse in judgment. Where was his support group? Where were the men that would tell him that he needed to be at war and not at home alone on a rooftop?
The paralyzed man is helpless. He was not alone. No delusions of self-sufficiency. The man couldn’t care for himself without the help of others. He gets healed. But let’s look at the faith of his friends. The four men had to carry their buddy through the crowd. They probably had to carry him several blocks out of the way to get to Jesus, climb to a roof, traverse several rooftops, and then tear away a roof knowing Jesus would heal their friend. At any point, the crippled man may have said: “Stop! It’s too much trouble. I’m fine.” I have carried a grown man on a cot over three miles. It is not an easy task. But the men persevered; they may have even encouraged each other. What an amazing story of friendship and accountability.
Now I don’t have to tell you all the ways men can get into trouble today. We have enough talking heads telling us how bad we men are. So I won’t laundry list you into submission and guilt. You know the list and the proclivities we as men are inclined towards. So that is why it is so important to have life-minded men in your life to keep you accountable and tell you what you need to hear when you stray and encourage you when you stay true.
Do you have any friend who would carry you toward the Savior when you need Him the most?
Do you have a group of men who struggle and endure with you in your good and bad times?
Or would they allow you to be alone and handle it on your own? Could you be a friend like that to someone?
Find those men. Your life depends on it.
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Accountability: Like-Minded versus Life-Minded
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As humans, we have a tendency to gravitate toward like-minded individuals and passions. Our society dictates this model through political correctness, polling, media, rugged individualism, and Climate Change. (Okay…not so much Climate Change but you catch my drift.) The danger is we subscribe to it like sheep in relationships and because we are like-minded we are easily deceived and we believe that everything is okay in our little like-minded world. So we scratch our heads wondering when the wheels fell off the wagon. But why do we subscribe to it? Why do we dismiss a need for true meaningful accountability?
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Accountability. Who needs it? (Part One)
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Every man needs accountability. Not the “Gotcha! Now I’m gonna beat you up!” variety that we so fondly remember. This variety leads to legalism and checklist spirituality. Eric Reed, Minister to Men at Houston’s First Baptist Church stated it best, “Men need an accountability that is voluntarily entered into and focused on unleashing each man into the vision that God is calling him.”
The result is not being beat down, but being built up. The Bible calls this edification.
This accountability can be elusive. Many men find accountability so frustrating because we have a tendency to cling to those individuals who flatter and rationalize our actions. They tell us what we want to hear not what we need to hear.
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