Monthly Archives: August 2013

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Best Laid Plans . . .

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Best laid Plans

Well…the week didn’t go so smooth.

Our Leader and Founder of Leadership Voices ventured away on vacation. He delegated authority while he was gone. He kindly asked me, his Number One, to keep an eye on things while he was away. As good leadership should do, he advised me that there were numerous hacking attempts on our site through our hosting provider. This was common but I believe it may have gotten more severe since I posted a rant on Anthony Weiner.

Sure enough, despite my best efforts I was unable to login to post my or any article much less assist anyone. I was locked out. And as a subordinate, I had no administrative access to the website. So I just let things ride…hoping no sordid ads or comments would post on Women’s Wednesday or Team Tuesday or Fatherhood Friday.

That is where the dilemma arose. Should I notify our leader or let him enjoy his vacation?

As a leader would you want to know if things were going awry or would you want to know once you returned?

Now I know our leader will weigh in on this…but I would like to know your thoughts.

Lastly, the world didn’t come to an end. No lives were lost because we didn’t post on our regular days. No animals were harmed because I felt the need to kick a dog in frustration. The blogosphere didn’t collapse. Life went on.

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Our Daughters Need Us to Balance Vision and Expectations – Week 6

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Needs - Week 6 - 3The “vision” that I am talking about has to do with the attitude that a father conveys about who he feels that his daughter is and what he feels that she can become.

All fathers have a vision of what potential is wrapped up in their young lives. And it is our job to cast a vision to their children about what they can become.

However, we must be careful because if we aren’t intentionally positive in the way we influence our children’s future, then we become overbearing and communicate disappointment in what they are or what they are becoming. And being negative or disappointed in your daughter’s present and future can be devastating.

So, what does a negative vision look like?

A negative vision can be downright demanding and demeaning. Negative vision sounds like:

“No kid of mine is going to come home with a report card with C-s on it. What’s wrong with you?”

“Why did you let that girl beat you at the last second?”

Negative vision can also be condemning:

“I know you were talking to that boyfriend on the phone. Why don’t you just tell me the truth? You’re turning into a liar!”

Or, it can be pessimistic and fatalistic:

“Don’t worry about doing well in math; boys are usually better at these subjects.”

On the other hand, a positive vision allows our daughters to see the good in their actions and their character.Needs - Week 6 - 2

So, what does a positive vision look like?

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Strategies for Conflict Resolution in a Team

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Strategy for Conflict Resolution in a Team - 1Leaders must know how to manage conflict with in their team.

Conflict and honest debate among team members can be helpful because it provides an opportunity for team members to see other perspectives on the issues at hand. However, if team conflict cannot be resolved, it can undermine team goals and harm the working relationship between team members. If you understand strategies for resolving conflicts with your team, your team will accomplish more. There are many things to consider here, but the few that I want to focus on are training, depersonalization, the type, the clarification and the resolution process. Finally, I offer a quick call for follow-up.

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Do it, ditch it, or delegate it

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Do it, ditch it or delegate it - 1Here is one of those great little maxims that I heard many years ago and I solemnly avowed and affirmed that I would live by it until my dying days.

But, as I look back on it and examine how well I adhered to that little maxim . . .  It seems like not so much.

The principle expressed in this pithy little statement is this.

When presented with a choice, a document, a task or a decision – handle it immediately in one of the following manners.

  1. Do it! — That sounds simple enough.  But procrastination is something that comes naturally to the human species.  This is especially true for those choices or tasks that have particularly unpleasant undertones.
  2. Ditch it! — This also sounds simple.  But many of us suffer from bouts of indecision.  We often times cannot make up our minds that this just isn’t important to the overall goals and therefore should be jettisoned for the more important tasks.
  3. Delegate it! — Another simple sounding thing.  For those of us who have a staff that we can actually delegate something to, we often choose to handle the task ourselves.

Do it, ditch it or delegate it - 3So, what are the leadership implications of this little phrase?

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Our Son Needs Us To Be A Control Point – Week 5

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Needs - Week 5 - 1Have you ever gone “Orienteering”? For those of you unfamiliar with Orienteering, I offer the following definition as found in Wikipedia:

Orienteering is a family of sports that requires navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain, and normally moving at speed. Participants are given a topographical map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points. Originally a training exercise in land navigation for military officers, orienteering has developed many variations. (Emphasis added by me.)

Ok, so what is a “Control Point”? I am glad you asked. Consider the following, also from Wikipedia:

A control point (CP, also control and checkpoint) is a marked waypoint used in orienteering and related sports such as rogaining and adventure racing. It is located in the competition area; marked both on an orienteering map and in the terrain; and described on a control description sheet. The control point must be identifiable on the map and on the ground. A control point has three components: a high visibility item, known as a flag or kite; an identifier, known as a control code; and a recording mechanism for contestants to record proof that they visited the control point.

OK, I could write for a week on the implications of the information above. But I will resist. Rather, I will stick to a specific application of the principle.  So, just what is the principle here?

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Grooming Someone to Take Over the Team – Or Start Their Own

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Grroming Someone to Take Over - 1I know that this title may be a little vague. But it has occurred to me that at some point in the life or career of a leader, there may come a time they will need to be relieved, so to speak. Now the kind of relief I am speaking of is not discontinuing your leadership, it is maybe taking a back seat in the family to a son, maybe it is grooming a son in law to take your daughter’s hand, or maybe it is a promotion in your organization or team.

As I continually struggle internally with this I realize how difficult it is for a leader to change roles. But do they really?

It seems to me even as I write this article, that we don’t stop leading, but rather we change the method or the lesson. I will get back to that in a minute. First, let’s talk about the opportunities and who we may “relinquish” our leadership too.

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Crucible of Crisis

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Crucible of Crisis - 1Who likes a crisis?  Who thrives in a crisis environment? Who loves conflict and turmoil?

I know some have suggested that you should never waste a good crisis.  But that is the subject of another topic and another time.  That line of thinking may even be worthy of a “Rant” from fellow blogger, Rene Rivera.  But I would like to consider what can come from crisis and how it may impact your leadership.

It seems to me that perhaps we avoid crises to our own personal and leadership development detriment. I would submit to you that sometimes great leaders emerge and are developed in the crucible of crisis.

Does that mean that as leaders we should always seek out crisis situations?

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Rant-The Weiner Warning

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rant

Anthony Weiner. His name says it all. Let me be very clear. Anthony is not a man. And he is a poor excuse for a leader. How he got elected much less married puzzles me? But men (and women) can be deceptive and present themselves better than they really are.

Anthony Weiner is a brat. He is a digital flasher. If the internet didn’t exist, he would be wearing a raincoat in a public place opening it up to any unsuspecting victim.  He is a decadent pervert. This poor excuse of a man is so intoxicated with himself and so proud of his genitals he must present them in digital format to women who are not his wife. Was that too harsh? Well maybe we as men and leaders need to call deviant behavior what it is: shameful, decadent, and dangerous.

We use soft words to describe pretty sordid behavior because it’s socially acceptable and palatable on the tongue. We call what he did sexting.  And it is socially acceptable.

For example, if I say

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Our Daughters Need Us To Comfort Them – Week 4

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Needs - Week 4 - 1What would be your first words to your daughter if …

… she lost the new smartphone that you just bought for her?

… she caused a fender-bender?

… she got a ticket for texting while driving?

… she was caught skipping school to hang out with her boyfriend?

What would your first thoughts be? What would your first actual words be to her? Would they be comforting words, or words of anger and judgment?

Needs - Week 4 - 3Throughout history there is tons of anecdotal evidence to suggest that our daughters do not feel they can communicate with their fathers. They are afraid of what their father may say or do. They wonder; Will he get red-faced and blow up? Have they observed their father respond in less than positive ways when their mother puts a dent in the car while pulling into the garage?

Stay with me here. I am not suggesting that as fathers we should relax our values or our standards. And car repairs are not cheap. (That is why we have car insurance, right?) But sometimes the greater good is to be a comforting and consoling father to a daughter who is hurting – even if it is because of her own poor choices.

So, Mr. Tough Guy, how do we do that? How do we demonstrate comfort and compassion?

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