Category Archives: Men

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The Lost Art of the Handshake

And why it really matters.

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The Lost Art of the Handshake

You wouldn’t think this sort of article would be necessary, would you?  Unfortunately, it is.  It seems that men shaking hands is a bit of a lost art.

Consider the handshake.  Historical customs indicate that the handshake is commonly done upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations, expressing gratitude, or completing an agreement. In sports or other competitive activities, it is also done as a sign of good sportsmanship. Its purpose is to convey trust, balance, and equality.

Let’s Start With the Basics

Handshake 1This is a handshake.

Handshake 2This is not.

Handshake 3Neither is this.

Handshake 5I don’t even know what this is!

Why does a handshake matter?

The importance of a good, strong, firm handshake cannot be overstated. When you shake hands with a leader you figure out pretty quickly what kind of person that you’re dealing with. If you are dealing with a confident person, a serious person, and a person not to be “trifled” with you will receive a solid, firm and strong handshake and you will receive direct eye-contact. If you experience something other than that, you may have doubts about the person you are greeting.

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My Family and the Manger

Don't send them. Lead them!

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There are a lot of leadership topics that we have discussed in the 4 years since the start of Leadership Voices.  But today, I am focused on leading your family to the manger.

Everyone sings about the manger. We may even have a little manger scene on the platform at our church. Something glorious is about to happen.

No, not Santa.

Just like more than 2,000 years ago, while the world slept, Jesus was born!

Ok, maybe not exactly on December 25th.  But He was born on a night like that night.  It was a night with lots of activity.  For Joseph and Mary, it was the busyness of the census and traveling with the throngs of people as they all journeyed to their ancestral homes.  For many of us, it is the busyness of wrapping, cooking, cleaning and the mad rush to the 24-hour drug store as we realized that batteries really weren’t included.

It would be foolish of me to suggest or to try to eliminate all of the activities that accompany the modern Christmas season.  But I would speak to you men on this day.  I would speak especially to you husbands and fathers.  And if I am honest, I would speak to myself.  And what I would say is this:

Let’s lead our families and loved ones to the manger on Christmas morning.

And I am speaking literally here.  I don’t see this as just a figurative suggestion. Let’s actually lead our families to the manger in some form or fashion on Christmas day to worship Jesus Christ the newborn king. It would be easy to stay home and remind them that they need to go to church and just send them on their way. But don’t.

Don’t send them.

Lead them!

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Really Important Leaders

Are some leadership roles more important than others?

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The elections are finally over. Some are happy. Some are not. Some are anxious. Some are scared. I have a mixture of all of those emotions. So, I am intentionally choosing to take a look today at one of the foundational leadership roles that exists. That is being a father. 

As fathers, we are the “go-to” guys of the family. There is a lot that is expected of us. We are given enormous responsibility and we are going to ultimately be accountable for the actions that we take as husbands and fathers.

How does that last sentence make you feel? Are you at peace with that statement? Or are you scared witless by the repercussions of it?

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Hello? Any leaders out there?

Are leaders like superheroes?

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Where Are All The Leaders?

I “feel” (and we know how dangerous it is to operate on feelings) that there are fewer leaders now than in days gone by. It may or may not be so. But it seems that is the case. Leaders must be a lot like superheroes. I wonder where all of them have gone as well.

Why does there seem to be so few leaders on the local, national and international stage? Are they really there and I just don’t see them? If they are there, why don’t I see them or recognize them?

One of the characteristics that define a leader is that they are growing and developing other leaders around them. It has been said, and I agree, I truly great leader is defined more by the number of other leaders they create than the number of followers that they create.

So, what is the point and the leadership principle here?

The leadership principle is this.

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Are You Likable?

Is it better to be liked or respected?

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Are You Likable

I want to be liked. I think that everyone wants to be liked. Do you want to be liked?

The question today is this: Do we need to be liked to be an effective leader?

I am going to speak from a male perspective today. If you are a female, read on. It may be insightful for you to further see how men think and process information. But I am speaking today from a male viewpoint.

What is that point of view?

There is something inside a man that longs for respect. And I think that many, if not most men would choose respect over love if they had to make such a choice. So, what do we do with that reality?

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Spring Break Ideas for Dad

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Spring Break Ideas for Dad

According to recent magazine article, a Swiss company will take the ashes of a dead relative and turn them into a synthetic diamond that you can wear for less than $10,000. That is a little creepy.  But that’s one way to be remembered, I suppose.

I know many of us can’t take off all week and be with our children.  But Spring Break is upon us and this is a great week to make memories with your kids that will last a lifetime.  And you can do it without the “break” in Spring Break be the breaking of the bank!  In fact, some of the ideas won’t cost you a dime!

Spring Break week ends on Friday the 13th here in Humble, TX. So, here are 13 memory-making things to do with your kids this week:

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The Business of Ethics

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MM - Ethics

I am sure there has been much written about ethics in leadership but I wanted to share some insights recently revealed to me.

I had a visit with some dear friends who have been in leadership positions and one is currently writing a book on “ethics in the university”. He is a retired professor and is a dear friend so, jokingly, I asked him if he had discovered any, to which there was a resounding NO.

The chats usually go with the state of our country then circles around to business models and ethics.

First, I’m not sure why we call it “business ethics”.

Is the place we learn business ethics, in business, or is it too late then?  Our conversation had me asking that question, “Where do we learn” ethics?

Well, I got the standard business answer we all should expect and the one you are thinking. We teach them in college and have training classes and seminars. Which isn’t bad, I might add!

As you may guess at this point in the conversation, I still had plenty of questions. So, one immediate question was; at what age do we start to teach ethics?

Where and when do “we” learn ethics?

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Leading the next generation of leaders: An introduction

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Editors’ Note: This article was originally posted in 2014, and for 2015 David and Leadership Voices have decided to produce a series of articles focused on family leadership and developing a plan for producing a legacy of leaders. We wanted to share this article with you again to reset and refresh the ideas as we set up the new series beginning next week. We look forward to your ideas and comments!

I’m the father of three little kids who are just beginning their education, with one in kindergarten, another in preschool and the third is migrating from toddler to little boy. I’ve been contemplating the things that they are learning this year, and watching where they are succeeding, where they struggle, and studying how I can lead my family through both ends of that spectrum. I’m working with my wife to help them learn to read and write, helping them through the sorts of social experiences they are experiencing… you get the idea if you are a parent.

I’ve also been thinking lately about the things that my children need to learn beyond what one might expect of a preschool or kindergarten curriculum: things like an understanding of football, baiting a fish hook, how (and more importantly, when) to throw a punch, how to safely handle a pocket knife (for my oldest, at least), for a few examples.

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Manday Movie Review(on Tuesday): Fury

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My beautiful wife indulged me in an early Movie Date before High School Football last Friday. We saw Fury.

Wow.  Best WWII flick since Saving Private Ryan. Brutal action. Well acted.  Brad Pitt hit another home run.

Let me warn you.  This is a Manday Monday Movie Review on a Tuesday.  (For those of you new to LeadershipVoices.com – I do this thing called Manday Mondays and focus on Manhood Topics. Every once in a while, I beat my chest and post cool things that would interest and challenge men and their brave spouses.  Today is one of those days.)

If you liked Saving Private Ryan (SPR), you will like this movie.  If you liked Band of Brothers you might like this film.  I say that because Fury is graphic. The movie is spectacular and gritty. It’s SPR in a tank.  And that may be the only similarity when it comes to the blunt force trauma violence.  Saving Private Ryan  had a “decency” to its graphic nature. Fury contains almost a Tarantino-like gratuitousness. What is more troubling is the considerable amount of vicious cruelty between the protagonists. The ensemble of characters have little redeeming qualities. In other words, the good guys are not easy to pick out.  This movie is really heavy as a war movie and deserves the R rating.  I was reminded of Platoon and 300.  It’s a good flick.

My recommendation – Go see the film.  There are many leadership nuances in the film.  Enjoy the movie in the theatre. Take it in first. Let it rest on your soul.

With that said, the movie will exceed your expectations if you are looking for a film to fill that Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers, and The Pacific void. After speaking with several friends I am told it vividly portrays what the Greatest Generation experienced by witnessing “the cruelty men can bestow upon other men.”

“Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.” -Wardaddy.

I will see you again when Mrs. Pitts’ Unbroken and Mr. Eastwood’s American Sniper is released.

 

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The Poser in Me

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The Poser In Me - 1For the last year or so I have been facilitating a small study group with a hunger to understand not only leadership values but what has God called us to do. Out of that study there have been several revelations to the developmental phases of a young persons life. We are very blessed to have the opportunity to nurture our young into meaningful productive God fearing people.

But where do we fail them?

I believe one of the early stages of when we let them down is when we fail to “affirm” them. Now, many of you reading this will  not associate with that statement. However, when we look at the breakup of many families today one of the most telling statements heard is of how the kids are NOT valued. Do we allow boys to be boys, or girls to be girls? Certainly NOT! Neither gender can compete “honestly” in any competition. We  teach them from an early age that “misrepresenting the truth” is an OK (no winners, no losers) thing to do. The reality is there are winners and losers. Another reality is…some of those winners have turned into big losers while some of the losers have turned into some of the biggest and brightest stars we’ve seen.

Consider;  Susan Boyle, a Scottish singer who  appeared on Britain’s Got Talent in 2009. She finished second, but her amazing talent  captured the world’s attention.  Her 1999 rendition of “Cry Me a River”was watched over 100 million times!  Boyle even made 5 Million Pounds with the release of I Dreamed a Dream. How’s that for a Successful Loser? 

Boyle was Boyle and under pressure refused to change. She refused to be a poser!

What is a poser?

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