I am the husband of a beautiful and wonderful woman. I am the father of two of the greatest kids on the planet. I am a father-in-law to a great young woman. And I am Papa to three very special grandchildren. In my spare time I am an active blogger and writer. And if there is any time left over, I work with small non-profit organizations and churches on the topics of change management, crisis intervention and leadership development.
As a writer, I cannot choose when inspiration comes to me. I do not get to decide when a great nugget of truth will stimulate the creative flow. But, sitting in Church this last Sunday, inspiration came in like a flood. And, I guess our pastors would be fairly pleased to know that I was “inspired” (or at least I was paying attention) during one of their sermons.
But, I am afraid the inspiration last Sunday took me a little different direction than perhaps they were intending. Although, as I reflect on it now, maybe not so much . . .
“And other seed fell on the rocky ground, where it did not have much soil,
and it sprang up at once because it did not have any depth of soil.”
Matthew 13:5
For those of you who you who have spent much time at all in church, you will recognize the verse above as coming from the Gospel of Mathew and is a part of the Parable of the Sower and the Seeds. For purposes of his message last Sunday, one of our pastors chose to emphasize the parable from the perspective of the soil. I won’t go through his message in detail here. Instead, if you are interested in the message, you can click on this link and check it out for yourself.
Instead, I want to take one of his points and apply it directly to leadership development. Are you ready for the inspiration? Here it is:
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Let’s begin with one of my basic premises: There is unity of life.
What does that mean?
It means that you are one person, not two, and not three or four. You are the same man, both on the job with your colleagues and at home with your wife and your children. You may think that they are different. You may use pop-culture words like “persona” to indicate that you take on different personalities and different habits and behaviors. And, in fact, you may try to live and act differently in those two different arenas. But you cannot live two lives; underneath the mask you are the same person in both spheres of responsible operation. And to argue against my basic premise is to further fortify it prove that it is true.
Men who are weak and ineffective as husbands tend to be the same as fathers by trying to split their lives between work and family. In other words, they live as producers at work but become consumers the moment they walk through the front door of the home. On the job they dedicate their powers to serious, responsible activity; but at home they are
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Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
Publilius Syrus
We are living in difficult days. I am speaking globally. And I am speaking about our nation. And I am speaking about the great state of Texas. And I am speaking about my own little life.
Nobody panic. All is well in my home. I am very blessed. But here is the reality of life as I see it.
Globally – The Olympic flame was still burning and trouble was brewing on the Crimean Peninsula. The flame is now out and Russian troops are amassing. The world watches and waits. How many times have we seen that play out in that part of the world in the last 150 years?
For those out there with better than a sub-standard education, does The Charge of the Light Brigade mean anything to you?
Nationally – Our nation is need of strong leadership. Perhaps more so now than even the days of the birth of our great Nation. The choice then was obvious. Freedom and liberty or tyranny and taxation. But today the choices are not as clear. At least it appears that way.
I think I see a clear delineation. But not everyone does and of those who do see a delineation, not everyone agrees how to address it. And I am not sure that it is even possible to reach some with a message that we face big challenges and we need big leaders to take us through the challenges that are ahead.
Texas – Here in Texas we are engaged in a battle to see
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Training the next generation of leaders in your organization may be the most important thing you do as a leader. We can argue what that single most important thing is. But, I think we can all agree that training the next generation is certainly in the top three!
Here are the things that I feel we need to be doing to keep producing new leaders. This list is not exhaustive. But I firmly believe that if we take these seven to heart and begin to employ them in our relationships with young leaders then great things will happen.
Play to the Strength of Young Leaders – These young leaders have immediately identifiable talents, skills and abilities. Play to them and allow the young leader to experience success early and often.
Challenge Young Leaders – Yes, they have talents, skills and abilities already. But do not let them rest on those and only play to their strengths. Make them “lean in” to the uncomfortable and try something new or something old that they have never tried before.
Work on a Young Leader’s Character as Much or More than Their Skills – Culture says the result is all that matters. That is false. How we achieve results is also important. Help young leaders develop good work habits early in their career. Character matters. When times of adversity come to your organization, people will follow the leader that they trust even when they don’t know where the leader is taking them.
Train Young Leaders to Focus on Others – Young leaders need to know that personal freedom diminishes the higher we rise in an organization. And as leaders we spend a significant amount of time dealing with the wants, needs and desires of others. Get comfortable with this role.
I have always been fascinated by Ghandi. In fact, one of the most popular articles published on LeadershipVoices is an article about Gandhi and his leadership style. And today I came across this quote.
“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”
Mohatma Gandhi
I have been doing a lot of research lately on the subject of Emotional Intelligence. One of the factors in determining your level (identified as your “EQ”) is to measure the way that you get along with others. The practitioners in this field of study generally recognize 4 areas with one of them being Relationship Management. This area of study is rich with insights into the way we view ourselves and the way we view others. And more importantly, how we relate to others.
Gandhi lived long before this area of study came about. But I would submit to you that Gandhi must have had a very high EQ. His leadership style and his personal and public life proclaims his understanding that leadership involves using our relationships and influence more than our physical presence as an advantage.
Boris Yeltsin may have been expressing much the same understanding when he once said:
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I have not always been a “reader”. Most of my reading over the years has been to my children and grandchildren. It is only in the last several years that I acquired the taste for books. And my tastes in reading material vary widely. But recently, I had a book suggested to me by fellow leadership coach, Rodney Mills of Centrifuge Leadership. He recommended the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. I am using this book currently with one of my leadership coaching clients and I think it is worthy of sharing with the broader Leadership Voices audience.
The book has a foreword by Patrick Lencioni. Many of you will recognize him as the author of Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Death by Meeting. If you are into great titles, those are a couple of great ones. As Lencioni proclaims in the foreword, he’s no expert in this field, but he sees everyday how critical a skill it is to have and he’s so enthusiastic about this book because it’s the first he’s read that actually shows you how to increase your EQ and apply it in your personal and professional life.
The opening chapter deals with Emotional Intelligence (EI) and your Emotional Quotient (EQ) and compares and contrasts it to the more well-known “IQ”. The chapter describes what EQ is and what it isn’t. For example, a lot of people mistakenly think that EQ is a part of your personality. To the contrary EQ is separate from your personality, just as it is separate from your intellect, or IQ. It begins to build your understanding of emotions by showing what the five core emotions look like in varying degrees of intensity. Next the team of Bradberry and Greaves explain research studies that illustrate how important EQ is in daily living. They show how your EQ impacts things like your tolerance for change, how you manage stress, and even how much money you make.
What Emotional Intelligence Looks Like: Understanding the Four Skills
The book introduces and explains Daniel Goleman’s four EQ skills: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. Beyond a conceptual description of the skills, the book provides detailed vignettes show examples of real people who are high or low in each of the skills.
To truly improve your ability in the four emotional intelligence skills, you need to better understand each skill and what it looks like in action.
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Much has been made this week about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s handling of “Bridgegate”. For purposes of this article I really don’t care about whether or not he had any prior knowledge of the actions taken by some of his senior staff. I have some thoughts on that aspect of the story, but they are not based upon actual first-hand knowledge on my part. So, I will try not to cloud the issue and these musings with those thoughts.
My purpose today is to look at his leadership in the midst of this current crisis for him and his administration. And further, I want to draw some conclusions based upon the comparison that is being made with the President of the United States and how he has handled some crises in his administration. Again, I will not take a partisan political stand. Instead I will merely comment on the comparisons being made in the mainstream media.
I spend a lot of time each day in my car commuting to and from work. Many of you do the same thing. One of the constant themes this week has been that the governor is doing a much better job of handling this crisis than the embattled president is handling his own. Many are saying that he is showing much greater leadership than the president.
Some have gone as far as to say that he has “raised the bar” with his leadership and example of crisis management. If that is true, then where is the bar?
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I know that today is Fatherhood Friday. But, I was discussing leadership topics with fellow author / leader, Wayne Butler the other day and I was a little aggravated with the state of leadership among husbands and fathers. Unfortunately, the lack of leadership is just too easy to identify today wherever you look.
One of the descriptions for leaders that I observe today is that they are being convenient leaders. So, what does that mean?
I think it means that they see some positive aspects of being a leader. And that is a positive thing I believe. However, they do not seem to grasp that leadership is inherently a difficult thing and that at many points in the process it is not fun. So, while the task of leadership remains easy or fun for them, they remain engaged. And when it gets too hard for them, they retreat from the challenge and shrink from their responsibility. This is what I call a Convenient Leader.
One of the descriptions for leaders that many of us are trying to encourage and promote is that of a covenant leader. So, what does that mean?
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Leadership Voices entered 2014 with a full head of steam thanks to a strong finish to 2013.
We have seen our readership grow beyond our wildest dreams. Since we started analyzing our website activity on March 3rd of last year and through the end of December we had almost 11,000 visits to the many pages of the website. And of those visits, almost 6,500 were unique visitors to the site. And altogether, folks read over 20,000 pages on LeadershipVoices.com! We are reaching over 1,000 people every month with positive messages and inspiration to be come a better leader.
In this time period we brought you 264 new and original articles on many aspects of leadership. Some of them drew a lot of interest in a short period of time such as the first guest post by David Tannery. As of today it has been read over 340 times. Another guest, Chris Fowler provided an article and it was read almost 1,500 times. One of my own that was written about the leadership style of Mahatma Gandhi has been seen and read almost 1,300 times.
But we have had many more that were not read by as many, still had an incredible impact on people’s lives as seen by the comments and replies to the article. Billy Long’s article on being a “Sheepdog” continues to have the most comments. Another one about the qualities of manliness that have stood the test of time has had a lot of comments as well. Articles on Mentoring and Accountability were also very well received by you, our audience. There have been others that were impactful as well.
However, in the month of January you may seem some of our regular contributors taking a break. Several of our authors are taking some much needed time off to recharge their creative batteries and will be returning in February. And that will lead to some changes. For instance, Dan DeVries has stepped up and has written a 5 part series of articles on Financial Leadership in the Home that we will be publishing soon. I have previewed them and they are spectacular. I think you will really find them beneficial to you and your family. I am also working with some more guest authors and I am excited about their contributions as well.
Women’s Wednesday will be on hiatus during January so that Jamie Joy can focus on her own writing for her blog found at http:JamieJoy.com. There may be some other changes and some folks stepping up to provide content during this time.
Change is coming too. I am also working on a series for the month of February that will address some key areas of leadership. Watch the website and newsletter for more details on this series and the other articles that will be coming your way. And speaking of the newsletter — Are you receiving our free weekly newsletter that summarizes all of the new and fresh content each week on LeadershipVoices.com? If you are not receiving it, would you please look to the right sidebar of the website and give us your name, email address and how you prefer to receive the newsletter? Or, just use the simple form on the bottom of this post today. We promise not to spam you or hit you with anything other than the newsletter or a special notice about an upcoming live leadership event.
Be patient with us in January and we will continue to bring you new, fresh and original leadership content.
So, “Thank You!” again for a great year. You have made us a part of your busy lives and we hope that our contributions are helping you become a better leader in every aspect of your life.
There has been a hand-made item hanging in my home for almost 30 years. It is very valuable to me. And this Christmas I gave it away.
My mother made a needlepoint poem and picture of a father and little boy walking together. That piece of handiwork was framed and placed in a place of prominence in my home since my son was born. I have seen it every day of my son’s life as I was getting dressed for work. And it has caused me to stop and pause and ponder the significance of it on more than one occasion.
But, this Christmas it was time for it to find a new home. It was time for it to go to the home of the next new father in our family line. My son and his wife are expecting their first born son soon. And it is my prayer that an old piece of needlework will impact my son’s life and his son’s life the way that it has impacted mine.
I confess that I get a little emotional when I read that poem. I know some may doubt the veracity of my manliness if I admit that. But I am OK with their doubts. They don’t concern me in the least. Because I know the importance of heeding the words in that poem.
So, what is the point for this first Fatherhood Friday of 2014?
My point is
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As a writer, I cannot choose when inspiration comes to me. I do not get to decide when a great nugget of truth will stimulate the creative flow. But, sitting in Church this last Sunday, inspiration came in like a flood. And, I guess our pastors would be fairly pleased to know that I was “inspired” (or at least I was paying attention) during one of their sermons.
