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Commitment = Contentment

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Commitment = Contentment - 1For a number of years I have been concerned about this declining thing called “commitment”. To me it has been like peeling back the layers of an onion as it appears to become a smaller and smaller value in the list of virtues necessary to be an effective leader.

“The kind of commitment I find among the best performers across virtually every field is a single-minded passion for what they do, an unwavering desire for excellence in the way they think and the way they work. Genuine confidence is what launches you out of bed in the morning and through your day with a spring in your step”.
– Jim Collins –

Let’s face the facts…It is easier and easier to follow the ways of the world than it is to follow the convictions of our heart. Commitment and passion take a genuine conviction of the heart.

Let me begin by establishing three essential aspects of leadership that MUST have a deep seeded connection or leadership fails!

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Leadership and Tom Landry

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Getting someone to do - 1

Leadership is getting someone to do what they don’t want to do
to achieve what they want to achieve.
Tom Landry

Thanksgiving has been known for many traditions. Not the least of which, unfortunately, may be that there is football on Thanksgiving. The Dallas Cowboys have played on Thanksgiving Day since 1966 and that my friend is a tradition.

I grew up and became a Steelers fan in my teen years. They were awesome in the 1970s. The Cowboys weren’t bad either. But the best thing to be said of the Cowboys in those days was their coach – Tom Landry.

Getting someone to do - 2There have been some amazing coaches in pro football. John Madden, Vince Lombardi, Mike Ditka, Tony Dungy are only a few of the great coaches that have walked the chalk on the sidelines. But, beyond their ability to instruct and motivate with Xs and Os, consider for a moment one of the key tasks of the football coach as the leader of the team. He must get his guys to do that which is tough and tiring in order to achieve the thing that they all really want – winning the Super Bowl.

What is the point on Fatherhood Friday on the day after the Cowboys beat the Raiders 31 to 24?

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Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation

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Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation - 1Thanksgiving Proclamation

Issued by President George Washington, at the request of Congress, on October 3, 1789

By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and—Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:”

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favor, able interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted; for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally, to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

George Washington

Happy Thanksgiving
from the whole
Leadership Voices Team

 

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Leadership Bias

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Leadership Bias - 1I’ve recently been conducting internal interviews for a potential project, I have been granted the opportunity to “hand pick” my team. What I have discovered is I may have a bias toward some people in my organization. So I started thinking about how a bias could affect my leadership of this team. My research related to bias uncovered some excellent and surprising information on how to build a greater awareness of one’s biases. These discoveries have also unintentionally helped me develop a more acute awareness of my role as a leader and beyond.

Bias in its basic definition is described in a negative light; but in its purest form doesn’t have to be. It can be equated to discernment (a positive term) because in the end it’s all about that — making a judgment based on certain criteria, and we know the better the judgment, the better the outcome.

When you look at the source of bias and how it is developed, here is where the dilemma surfaces. Whatever bias or preferences you have in any situation has been shaped and cultivated from your collective experiences or conditioning. That conditioning has shaped who you are, crafted your capabilities, molded your beliefs, tested your values all through the filter of your innate wiring — which some call personality. It’s that conditioning that has made you the leader you are today, and in that you could say, your bias (or your conditioning) on some level has been part of your success. Yet, that same collective experience can unknowingly work against you and those you lead. Here in is our quandary.

One of the most interesting areas of professional development is creative and innovative thinking. It’s an area that the Institute for Business Values proclaimed through a survey of 1,500 CEOs as one of the most important leadership qualities. In fact, Richard Florida, states,

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Manday: I’m a Good Dad!

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Every father should read the lyrics to or listen to Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin before they put their kids to bed every night. In other words, no one ever sat on their Deathbed and said I wish I had drank more or I wish I had watched more TV.

I’m a good dad! At its base, I know I’m a good Dad. Other people tell me I’m a good Dad.  One of the best compliments I’ve ever received was from a divorced/ single parent friend who said “I’m a good dad but I try to raise my game to your level every time I have my son.” That got me thinking how lucky I am. I have an occupation that allows me to be home at night. I leave for work between 0430 and 0630 every morning so my kids will be lacking any memories of breakfast with Dad but overall, I am involved in their lives and around a lot. So basically I know I’m a good Dad….but when I listen to Cats in the Cradle, I want to cry. When I read The Giving Tree, I want to hang myself. It’s so SAD!

I first heard Cats in the Cradle when I was a kid. When I was serving in the military in the Middle East, my rack mate, was a young man from Georgia who had a thing for this song! He would listen to it all the time! And if he listened to it while drinking he would become down right belligerent. His father was a much decorated major in the U.S. Army and was wounded several times as a member of a very elite unit. He was all a man could want and achieve in a military career or the kind of man a young boy would look up to in absolute awe but their relationship followed Chapin’s song very closely.

When I look at my relationship with my own father, the pattern is evident although less pronounced than my friends. In this rambling account, all I strive to say is BE a better father! Be more present! Be a real man! Be a warrior! Be a sheep dog that takes on any challenge with gusto! I’ve certainly come home after 12 and 15 hour days and wanted nothing more than a cold beer and a good TV show, but it’s not about you.

kiss

I’m a good dad but I’ve become better! I’ve faced challenges with my health that has included several hospital stays! My most recent setback 13 months ago was an epiphany for me.  I had tubes running up my nose and down my throat. As I spent three listless days lying in that bed, I vowed that I would never say no to my kids again. I thought to myself that at that moment, I would give anything to be hugging my son and daughter, to be playing ball with my son or braiding my daughters hair (a real man, an accomplished man, a self taught man goes on YouTube and finds hair braiding videos and learns).

I’m a great Dad. I’ve been told I am. But I thought about the countless times I had told or yelled at my son to go in the other room. Daddy’s watching TV or the game or daddy’s tired or any other weak excuse! Certainly, many of those are true! I was watching the game or I was eating my dinner but if God grants me twenty more years on this earth and I see my son grow into a man! What’s going to be more important! That game of catch or wrestling on the bed or reading the book or my memories of watching Matt Schaub throw his latest interception? We all know the answer.

It’s not easy to say yes every time but I have come up with my own rules for it with the long term goal of passing on good values and raising my children well but it works…it’s a real challenge and there are gut checks someday but a real man and a real father takes on a challenge head on.

My simple solution is that I have breakfast with my children once a week.  I take them to ice cream once a week.  I have a super fantastic Daddy Funday once a week so Momma can have some time to her self (happy wives that have been recharged hanging out with their friends come back to bed recharged as well gentlemen).  I wrestle with my kids for five minutes on the bed every night they want. They understand and I set my iPhone timer for five minutes and we go all out. Timer goes off and they go in the other room…but five minutes a night is a reasonable amount of time and the good memories.

I try my hardest, and this has been the hardest to keep, I spend 20 minutes a day of 100% undivided attention with everyone I love solely focused on them. I spend 20 minutes with my son doing whatever he wishes to do…play, eat, read, wrestle, talk about dinosaurs etc.  I spend 20 mins with my daughter and we usually end up watching My Little Pony or doing something surrounding My Little Pony. If Harvard’s application process solely covered My Little Pony, my daughter would be an early Admission and graduate Summa cum laude.

And then finally most importantly and the intro to the second part of my post, I spend 20 minutes focused solely on my wife, the mother of my children doing whatever she wants to do. I usually rub her feet and listen to her day and it has become a very important bonding portion of our day. Some days, it’s the only time we spend alone together. But one of the greatest gifts I give to my children is–to honor their mother. Then Harry Chapin comes on again!

Remember your children! Especially your sons. They are going to grow up exactly like you someday! Who do you want them to be?

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A Thankful Father I Would Be

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A Thankful Father I Would Be - 1By this time next week Thanksgiving will have come and gone. And this Fatherhood Friday I am pausing to offer thanks to my Heavenly Father for my earthly father.

“Thank you God for a Dad who is both a Godly man and a good man.”

But I am also thankful for the many other fathers who have impacted my life. I am thankful for some young guys my age when I was a very young and inexperienced father. At that time I had the chance to observe young fathers like Rocky and Scott. These were two guys who were not much older than I was when we lived in Marietta, Georgia in the early 1980s. There were also some older and more mature guys like Bro. Searcy who not only took care of my car at his Firestone store, he also had patience with me and showed me what it was to be a Godly husband, father and business man. He probably never knew what an influence he had on my life.

A Thankful Father I Would Be - 2Later, when we moved back north to be near family, I had the opportunity to be mentored by some of the most incredible men that I have ever had the chance to know. I served on church boards with these men and watched them in the crucible of crisis and I saw dignity and grace. I knew that was the kind of man that I was striving to be. One man that I met there entered into a covenant and accountability relationship with me that still exists today – after more than 20 years.

Most have gone on to Glory and one has moved to Round Rock, TX and the other is in Florida. And I don’t see them very often. But those two and the other men played a very important role in my development as a husband, father and as a leader.

When we moved to Texas almost 15 years ago I was blessed to find some friends that have been instrumental in my continued development. A man named Mark and his wife Sue have shown kindness, grace, mercy and been a blessing like only a few have ever before.  They have encouraged us and they have made me a better husband, father and man.

So what is the point on Fatherhood Friday?

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Somebody is Watching You

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Somebody is Watching You - 1

Somebody is watching you.  Somebody is always watching every little move you make, every step you take, every vow you break.  (Wow, I broke into a lyric there for a second.)

Such is the stuff of thrillers and horror movies.  But the same is true of the daily and the mundane.

Someone is always watching you.

As a leader, do you understand the power of your influence?

Do you know the ramifications of what you say and what you do?

Do you grasp the implications of how you do what you do?

Leaders have tremendous impact on the lives of the people that they lead. This is true in business and it is especially true in our personal lives.  A good leader can make a person feel as though they can accomplish anything. On the other hand, a poor leader can destroy the self-esteem of those they are called to lead and serve.

As a leader you are always being watched. Consider that today and be careful.

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When Leaders Make Mistakes

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When Leaders Make Mistakes - 2I came across an article in an industry magazine that talked about how companies react when things go wrong. They cited the recent very public grief that Toyota, BP and Goldman Sachs received over challenges they faced in regard to problems that came from within their own businesses, was of their own making, and required really careful handling. None of them handled it particularly well and suffered greatly as a result.

This led me to think of what team leaders can learn from their mistakes. Because we are sure of one thing – things will go wrong, we will make mistakes and we need to be prepared as leaders to deal with it. The repercussions of mishandling were and still are enormous to the organizations mentioned, but let’s not be smug about it, because we all have been guilty of making similar, if not so public, mistakes in our own role as leaders.

When Leaders Make Mistakes - 3So, what do we do, when the inevitable happens? Here are five things I found that seems like they would be good options.

  1. Get Out In Front Of It-FAST. We must be absolutely honest about the matter, with all the details that we are in possession of. Don’t try to “manage” the information. Don’t justify holding something back because “we can’t tell them that” type of excuse. Be absolutely honest, and be honest as fast as you possibly can. Delaying will always come across as hiding something.
  2. Accept The Blame (Responsibility). Take it on the chin and don’t blame your suppliers, your outsourced workers, your competitors, the market or anything else. Just out your hand up and “fess up”. Anything else and you will sound weak.
  3. Do Something. When I talk about action, I mean massive action!! Not just what makes you look good, or being seen to do the right thing. Do everything that you can possibly think of that will remedy the situation.
  4. Be Honest. Don’t fall into “spin”. If what you are doing is working, then tell everyone. If it isn’t then tell everyone! It is highly likely that everyone will know whether the actions are working or not, so be honest. You will be respected for it. If the actions are not effective, then tell them about the corrective actions and why you are changing course.
  5. Learn From Your Mistake. You want to teach the team a lesson, make the lesson you. When the dust has settled and the problem is solved, have a really good review with all the stakeholders of what was learned from the experience to prevent it happening in the future. This is not a witch hunt, it is not about blame and do not allow it to descend into a bitching session. This last rule is often forgotten as the inclination is just to move on and forget about the mess that happened. Do that and you miss fantastic learning for you as a leader, and for the team.

Some or maybe all of these things will be hard to do, but ya know what?  If Leadership was easy, we wouldn’t be commenting on a blog.

Surround yourself with peers that are leaders as well, and you will all benefit from each others successes and mistakes.

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Open Letter: Thankful for My Mentors!

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terry

Dear Mentors-

In the past few weeks, I have noticed on social media numerous individuals stating their thankfulness for their blessings as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches.  I looked back on my roller coaster life and noticed where God brought significant people into my life to mold, mentor, and hold me accountable. I can clearly say without the selfless sacrifices these amazing men and women made, I would not be what God intended me to be. I shudder at the alternative of the type of person I could have been. I am thankful to you, my mentors.

I am thankful for Dr. Terry Samplaski and his lovely wife, Sharon, for adopting me during my wayward college days. I remember learning how to serve as a Christian by just watching Terry. This amazing man simply went to his knees and covered me in prayer. I remember light moments like playing Madden Football on his monochrome IBM personal computer as the highlight of my week. I would wander off and Terry continued to greet me with open arms upon my return. This man mentored and guided me by discipling and simply loving me.

terry and sharon

Thank you, Terry and Sharon.

Then there was Bobby and Ginger Bell. This amazing duo took a young married couple under their wings and taught us how to survive the early tumultuous years of marriage. If it hadn’t been for these amazing friends who took us in and just fellowshipped with us, I know our marriage would be very different. I will never forget when I was fired from my first job as a Sales Rep at Aggie 96 Radio; Bobby hired me as an On-Air-Radio Personality at the same station within five minutes to the detriment of his career. He took a chance on me. For that I am eternally grateful.  And so is my beautiful bride.

Bobby-You took my wife and me on a fishing trip on a cold autumn day. Of course, you and I caught nothing. Nor caught and brought home one catfish. You and I, then, went to Albertson’s to buy catfish for the much anticipated fish fry.

Ginger convinced me to sing Tenor as part of a living Christmas tree at their church. I have to admit I will never do that again.

bobby and ginger

Thank you, Bobby and Ginger.

My best friend, Darrin. Wherever you are. I wish we could mend the fence we broke. I have so much to tell you. I am a cop now. Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. The boys ask for you.  The Cowboys still stink.  Your XBOX controller is still on my television.  I miss picking you up at the airport when you would visit.  Your friendship still means everything to me. You taught me how to be a friend, laugh, and just live. As an only child, you were and still are the closest thing I have to a brother.

I miss you, man.  I hope you are happy.  I hope you are married to a hot smoking woman and dizzy in love with her.  I just hope…

darrin

Thank you, Darrin.

Finally, my 300. Mark, Allen, and Ken. Wow! It’s been a long time. I can’t thank you enough for the amazing Wednesday after 7AM conversations. I don’t think I would be where I am today without the Lord bringing you into my life. You three didn’t pull any punches. I have never been so challenged by you three Godly men. We just might get our families through this thing called life. I lost a great friend and then God gave me three brothers to fill the gap. We are not old but we are getting older. I can’t think of a better crowd of men I would want to spend my free time.

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I am thankful for each of you.

Thank you Jesus for these amazing individuals who decided to invest in me.  And because of every one of you, Mentors, I am paying it forward.

Your friend,

Rene

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Leading at Work – Leading at Home

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Leading at Work -- Leading at Home - 1

Regardless of what you think, you really are the same person at home that you are at work.  One persona may be more “masked” than the other, but you are the same person.

Why? You are one person, not two. You are ultimately the same man, both on the job with your colleagues and at home with your wife and children. You cannot live two disparate lives; you will ultimately be known as the same person in both spheres of influence. That may scare you a bit.  And I hope it is at the very least a sobering thought.

Leading at Work -- Leading at Home - 2The downside of that reality is that if you are a despicable person at home, you will ultimately show yourself to be the same at work.  And the greater shame is that many men would be more embarrassed to be considered despicable at work than at home.

Men who are weak and ineffective fathers tend to try to split their lives between work and family. They try to live their lives in two separate worlds.  That is, they live as producers at work but consumers at home.  On the job they dedicate their powers to serious, responsible activity; but at home they rest passively in pleasurable recreation. In the workplace, their character strengths operate at full throttle and everyone sees and respects their sound judgment, sense of responsibility, tough-minded perseverance, and self-control. But at home, their inner strengths that are so active at work, rest on idle, set aside for use during the day, and thereby hidden from their children’s eyes.

Successful fathers do not live like this. They are smart, effective leaders at home as well as on the job. Their strengths of character impress their children as much as their colleagues at work. Their devotion to their family, in fact, gives meaning and purpose to their strenuous life of professional work. The main purpose of their work is the welfare of their family, and their children know this.

In other words, a successful father exercises leadership at home as much as on the job — and he does so in very similar ways.

What does this mean? Let’s first look at how a man typically exercises effective leadership in the workplace, and then let’s turn to see how the same attitudes and behaviors apply to leadership at home.

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