Monthly Archives: February 2013

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Financier, Friend or Father — Part Three

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father-son-13_lIn parts one and two we looked at two of the many roles that a father plays.  We looked at him as financier where he has a role in being a provider for the family.  But we saw that being a provider is not what our family needs from us the most.  We then looked at his role as a friend and how hard it is to be something much more than our child’s buddy.  In this, our last installment of the series, I want to explore the most important role that a man will play in life and his relationship to his children.

Father – “Father knows best.”

>Boy, I really wish this last statement were true 100% of the time.  We all know it isn’t.  But at the end of the day, we are responsible.  President Harry S Truman said, “The buck stops here.”  And the “buck” of responsibility stops with the father.  Another way of looking at it is this.  “We may not always be right, but we are always the parent.”  And we need to act accordingly.  We need to step up and make the tough decisions.  We need to make decisions that may be unpopular with our children.  And we will make some bad decisions.  And when we make a bad decision or a mistake, we need to acknowledge it.  Our children will not lose respect for us when we admit a mistake.  In fact, the opposite is true.  They will come to respect us even more by seeing that we love and respect them enough to acknowledge when we have failed them.Father and Son Blurred

I think homes in America today are places of “Fatherhood Vacuums”.  Divorce has ravaged our families, our homes and our society.  And so often, Mom has had to step in to fill the void left by an absent father.  There can even be fatherhood voids in homes where the father still remains.  How tragic is that when a father is present physically but absent emotionally?

So what is my point today? 

My point is this.  Is it my role primarily to provide for the needs of my family if possible?  Absolutely!  But that is not the most important role that I have.  Is it my role to be a friend to my children and build a relationship of closeness and camaraderie?  Absolutely!  But of the three roles, financier, friend and father, being a real father is the most important of them all.

Go be a “father” today!

Photo credit: Thomas Leuthard / Foter.com / CC BY
Photo credit: Tojosan / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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Seeking Leadership

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Hiker StuffI have seen lots of good things written about leadership, both here and in other forums, but, I had a thought today. I thought about maybe what drives me the most

How do we find the people who are seeking leaders to lead them?

Do those people exist? Isn’t that the real reason that we strive to be leaders? Does a leader actually have to have followers to be a leader? Or is leadership like integrity? Do you know the old saying, “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking”?

I wonder if seeking leadership is like

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Accessible or Aloof

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AloofReading Michael Hyatt’s blog early this morning I saw his recounting of a podcast by Andy Stanley, a well-known pastor in the Atlanta, GA metropolitan area. Andy Stanley is of the opinion that the greater or higher the level of leadership that a person reaches, the less accessible they must make themselves.

Andy Stanley is quoted as saying:

“The harsh reality of leadership is that the more successful we are, the less accessible we become. As things grow and as more people become involved, a leader can’t be equally accessible to all people. So then we are faced with the dilemma of who gets my time and who doesn’t, when do they get it, and how much of it do they get.”

l sort of equate that to the movie star who becomes famous by making movies.  And then they go on countless TV interviews to become even more famous.  And then they complain because they never have any privacy.  Does that sound familiar?

l would submit to you that the things that made a great leader great are the same things that will keep them great. And one of those things is accessibility and approach-ability.  Every person needs a certain amount of privacy and down time. And as followers we need to recognize and respect that.  But I don’t see a significant reason for someone to become markedly less accessible in order to become more effective.

Absence, or aloofness, doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart wander. And the opposite of accessible could be defined as aloof. And who thinks that is a leadership trait?

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Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense

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Diseased HandThe story of Naaman has an interesting leadership lesson for us today. Naaman was the commander-in-chief of the ancient Syrian army. He was a man with both position and power. By all earthly standards, Naaman was a recognized leader: he had worldly abilities, fame, respect and authority.

However, Naaman had a really big problem. He had leprosy. In that day and time, leprosy was an awful incurable disease. It required total isolation from everyone for fear of spreading the dreaded disease. And it is really hard to be a leader when you have to be isolated from everyone that you are leading.

Can you just imagine for a few minutes

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