Category Archives: Leadership Lessons

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Beware of the Lure to be Likable

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Fishing Lure

I guess I am still not done with the whole “like-ability” discussion.  So, I continue the discussion with a warning to beware of the lure to be likable.

Leaders are often placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable and to be nice.  Many follow the natural tendency to want to be liked because it feels much easier to be liked than to be viewed as capable and accomplishment driven.

Few leaders want to be the bad guy.  And those that do want to be the “heavy” are not the kind of leader that I am drawn to!

But as leaders we are expected to make the tough decisions that serve the organization or the team’s best interests.  Trying to be too nice can in fact be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization.

I’ve seen this happen many times in my personal and professional career.  Leaders get almost addicted to a sense of being likable.  They make a mistake in staffing or in a major decision.  This can happen to anyone, and the best way to remedy the situation is to address it quickly. However, despite the obvious solution to the rest of the team, some leaders keep on trying to make it work.

While it is a good thing to follow our instinct to stick to it and be consistent, if you fast forward a few weeks or months, the situation is no better and often worse.

There’s a key lesson here for any leader

Nice is only good when it’s coupled with a rational perspective and the ability to make difficult choices.  

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The Genesis Model of Creative Leadership

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God and Adam

Creative leaders draw the best thinking out of the individual team members before calling a general brainstorming session.

This is the assertion in Chapter 1 of Tom Harper’s book, Leading from the Lion’s Den.  In his book he presents leadership lessons from every book of the Bible.  Consider this one from Genesis:

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” – Gen 1:1

Many organizations today foster creative teamwork through collaborative instant messaging, chat windows, discussion boards, and project groups.  My company uses a myriad of technology tools as well as recently construction an entire corporate campus to foster collaboration.

Though today’s online cooperation might appear to be a new kind of brainstorming, it is actually based on a tried and true model of creativity. The old standard concept is simple: the best creative thinking is done when individuals have a chance to think before they collaborate.

Not everyone thinks well in groups. The rapid-fire atmosphere of some brainstorming methodologies can be very disconcerting to some otherwise highly creative members of your team.

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Teach Gratitude to a Preschooler in Four Simple Steps

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Gratitude

In all things give thanks… The five year old just celebrated her birthday. She received a predictably mountainous and diverse pile of presents from family and friends, and we had a princess party with Rapunzel wigs, manicures, make up, and an assortment of little princess activities. As any parent might, we made a big deal out of her day. Yet as her daddy, I asked myself before the party and after: what lessons are my little girl learning from this showering of attention and gifts, and are those lessons the right ones?

There are obvious lessons: I am special. I am loved. I am blessed. I am liked. My life is appreciated.

There are subtle lessons: Some people brought me nicer gifts than others. Some people seem to be having a better time than others. Some people seem to be sad (or angry) that I am the one receiving all the attention. Some people wish they had my toys.

And there are some lessons that are insidious: I didn’t get as many presents as my older sister got at her birthday. I think the present I got my friend for her birthday party is better than the one she got me. The party I went to last month was much more fun than my party. I don’t have as many friends as some of my other friends do.

You get the idea – all of these are non-specific and all of them apply. I am amazed as a still-rookie Daddy that these lessons are taught and learned at such a tender age. Yet it is my responsibility to lead my family through them: contentment, envy, fairness, jealousy, joy… but our focus for today is gratitude. As you develop a plan for teaching your kids to be grateful, consider these things:

1. You can’t teach what you don’t know.

Before you can teach anything to anyone – and especially your kids – you’re going to need to understand what it is you are teaching them. The word “gratitude” come from the same latin root word from which we derive the word “grace”. Although grace and gratitude don’t share precisely the same meaning, they are two sides to the same coin. Indeed, one could make a strong case that the proper response to grace is gratitude.

So, start like this: make a list of the graces you experience in your own life. Life itself is a good place to start, and while you are at it, think of other people who have led you, and taught you, and corrected you. And maybe even consider how people who have been less than gracious to you have shaped you in ways that have somehow or another worked out well. You can continue from there. Perhaps (and hopefully!) your children themselves are high on this list. Make certain that you consider how the people in your life figure into the grace/gratitude spectrum. This could as easily be called “counting your blessings”, but your list will have greater meaning to you and your kids if you write it down.

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Leading Without a Title

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Leading Without a Title

So what can a “leader” do without a title?  What can a “leader” do without a position?

There are many times in life, work and ministry that we may find ourselves without a formal title or position and yet still feel a call to lead. But who will follow? And who are we leading? And for what purpose? And toward what end result?

All of these are questions we may face when we feel a burning desire within to help others, to see lasting change in lives, organizations and communities and yet don’t have an official “platform” from which we can lead.

What are some principles of leadership that are applicable regardless of title or position?

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Three Things About Failure

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How many times have you heard that failure is just a stepping-stone to success?

Although it is true, it is not very helpful just knowing that little tidbit. The fact of the matter is, just knowing this is simply not enough. It’s not going to actually bring you success and it’s not going to help you become a better leader.

The fact remains that most people are afraid to fail. We’ve been conditioned since childhood that it’s a bad thing. Failing a test in school didn’t exactly get us one step closer to an “A” now did it? Want to start up a new business? Don’t fail. Because if you do you will lose all your capital that you invested in the venture.

Failing at something doesn’t mean that you have no skills or abilities, or you don’t know how to do anything.

Consider this. Failure, after you strip out the emotions, is just feedback. And it’s from this feedback that we should extract the lessons, learn from them, and apply them to our leadership development. Here now are three things that I think we need to consider where failure is concerned.

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The Big Let Down

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Big Let Down - Aftermath

It has been 2 days since Christmas. And you can go ahead and admit it. You are feeling a little let down after all of the excitement, aren’t you? The presents are all unwrapped. There may still be a big mess. But the fun part is over.

Well, maybe that is part of the problem. The fun part (the party or the kids ripping presents open) is over and there is nothing left but the cleaning up of the mess from Christmas morning. We all feel that “big let down” right about now.

That feeling is normal. We all feel it sooner or later throughout the Holiday season. It comes sooner and more pronounced for some than for others. But there is always a little bit of disappointment around about now.

Everyone likes decorating the tree. We can’t wait to get the tree and get it decorated and begin enjoying the Christmas season. But no one wants to put the tree away and pack away all of the ornaments and lights for next year. That is such a let down.

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The Myth of the Perfect Christmas

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Merry Christmas

It is not a perfect Christmas for us this year. Some of my family are not here.  But it is still a “Merry” one. It is still one that is full of joy and wonder and amazement that God chose to come to earth in the form of man and dwell among us.

It would be nice to say “Merry Christmas” and be completely oblivious to the world around us. But that would mean that you and I are truly oblivious creatures. The fact is, more of us are hurting and broken at Christmas than are healthy and whole.

I am here to tell you that it is okay. It is okay with me and it is okay with Jesus. In fact, your brokenness is exactly why Jesus came. Your brokenness is the dirty, filthy stable. Your brokenness is a manger made for feeding animals, not for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. But Jesus came anyway. He came and He stayed with us and He cried IN our brokenness, WITH us. Because Jesus is “Emmanuel, God with us.”

And He will come to you anew and afresh if you will let him.

But to do that we have to put away this notion of a perfectly decorated tree, perfectly lighted houses, perfectly wrapped presents, perfectly planned meals and perfectly pretty family and friends to share it with.  Jesus didn’t come for any of that. And actually, it’s quite the opposite.

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Wise Leaders Keep an Eye to the Future

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Wise Men Leadership

We are close to Christmas Day. And we are given an opportunity each year to review the greatest story ever told. Also, there are leadership lessons that are in this story that are present if you will look for them.

Consider today some leadership lessons from the Wise Men.

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What Happens When You Put a Bunch of Leaders in One Room?

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Group of leaders

I had the pleasure (No, really, I did!) of joining with a group of local leaders and entrepreneurs today for lunch. A very dear friend and trusted advisor invited me to participate and it was a lot of fun.

It is interesting to watch the various leadership styles and personality types interact with one another. Some are very far along the entrepreneurial path and are running successful ventures. Some haven’t taken the plunge fully. Some are completely confident and at ease in that setting. Some . . . not so much.

One of the outcomes of the meeting was that there will be a little more structure in the upcoming meetings. Each of us will have an opportunity to speak to the entire organization about our companies. It was suggested that we take a few minutes to discuss our venture. We would take a few minutes to discuss a success. And we would take a few minutes to discuss a challenge that we are facing. I think that is an excellent idea.

It is an excellent idea because it will cause us to hone our “pitch.” One person said that in reality we are each really salespeople trying to sell the public on why they need our product, our service, or our message. But more importantly than than refining our “pitch” is that it refines our core message. Each time we speak about who we are and what we do we will get better and more succinct.

What is the leadership lesson here?

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Can You Have Success In Leadership Without Structure?

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Structure is important

Last week I ended the week with some thoughts on the nature of “struggle” and how it interacts with the leadership process. Today I want to look at the nature of “structure” and how it interacts with leadership.

I have spent the last 4 years of my “day job” dealing with large-scale commercial real estate. I have been very fortunate to work on the largest commercial real estate project in all of North America. One of the things that was obvious, even to the inexperienced, was that without the proper structure, a building would collapse.

Bad things happen without proper structure.

The same is true in leadership and with organizational entities. Structure is vital.

Over the course of my coaching with various organizations, one thing I have found all too often. Organizations with a strong central leader often lack structure to the overall organization. Many times these organizations are led solely through the power and presence of a strong personality.

But is that enough? Is a strong central leader enough to carry an organization?

No! A strong, charismatic, powerful, energetic and magnetic leader can take an organization only so far. At some point there must be some structure put into place in order for the organization to move beyond the initial excitement phase and on to real sustained growth. Providing that structure is the role of a leader.

“But wait! I am just not a structured person!”

That is OK. Your role as a leader is ultimately to provide that structure. If you don’t possess those skills personally, then it is incumbent upon you to reach out and bring structured people into the organization and put them in key leadership roles. And then it is incumbent upon you to get out of their way and let them bring structure and order to the organization.

What is the leadership lesson here?

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