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Without a vision . . . Without a leader . . .

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I have heard many provide insight into the popular passage from Proverbs 29:18.  In fact, I wrote about this very same passage back on January 1st of this year.  In case you are not familiar with it, it goes like this:

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

It is often used as an exhortation to go out and do something big.  Something that requires great vision.  And without something big to strive for, folks will surely die.  Now, I could discuss what that verse may really be saying, but for purposes of this leadership blog I will stick with one of the more common applications of the verse.

The application of that verse that is most common would call us to greatness and to do things that we cannot see with our own eyes.  But consider for a moment the execution of that verse.  Vision is great and I am all for it.  But vision without leadership is nearly pointless.  If people perish without a vision, I think that without a leader they will wander aimlessly in search of direction.

You and I are leaders.  We are called to lead.  Let’s align ourselves with a vision.  Or let’s collectively seek the vision of those among us with those skills.  And then let’s pursue that vision with energy, enthusiasm and with discipline.  Let’s see the vision and then say follow me!  I know how to get us there!

“Where there is no vision the people perish”
Proverbs 29:18

“Where there is no leadership the people wander aimlessly.”
K.E. Bowser

 

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Our sons need us to be a “Purity and Respect Model and Monitor” – Week 7

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Needs - Week 7 - 1Our sons need us to model and monitor purity and respect for them.

That doesn’t sound very fun, does it? And what does it even mean?

It means that our sons need us to model purity and respect for him and monitor his ability to follow our example.

Most fathers would never intentionally instruct their son into a potentially destructive habit like alcoholism or drug dependence. Yet that’s exactly what can happen if we aren’t intentionally modeling purity for them, demonstrating respect for those around us respect and helping them remain “pure” in their thoughts and actions.

This is why I say you must be a “purity and respect” model and monitor.

Needs - Week 7 - 2Many young men have lost their sense of respect, and it especially shows in their speech. They trash talk, curse, and make crude jokes about those who they view as being less significant than themselves. They denigrate women or use foul language in front of children. Somewhere along the way, someone failed to correct their behavior. Most often it was due to the lack of a strong father in the home. And they learned how to deal with others through late night on HBO.

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Looking Silly or Feeling Confident

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Looking Silly, Feeling Confident - 1Leadership and confidence usually go hand in hand. But sometimes you feel awkward or even silly. You may feel silly and awkward inside, but you can learn to overcome those feelings. You can develop the ability to both look and feel confident even though you feel silly.

Looking Silly, Feeling Confident - 3Researchers tell us that the number one fear of most people is the fear of public speaking or some other public exposure. Now, in full disclosure, I will admit that I have never suffered from that fear. I was a “theater guy”. I loved being on stage. Many years ago my wife and I owned our own business where I was a paid professional public speaker. I have made a living standing and talking in front of a crowd. It doesn’t scare me – it energizes me. But I realize that I am the oddball in this regard. (Maybe some other regards as well . . .)

Here are a few tips and suggestions to help you get over the fear of looking silly and also help you gain and portray confidence to those around you.

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What happens when it’s the Leader that is failing the Team?

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Leader Failing the Team - 1For almost everyone, having a job means working on teams. But not all team leaders know how to create successful teams. They do not know how to lead either by building consensus, setting agendas, meeting deadlines, encouraging good ideas, and so on. In fact, many team leaders are thrown into the role without training in any of these areas. If your leader seems to be less than fully competent or committed, there are ways you can make the experience bearable, and even successful, without stepping on toes.

Maybe your leader isn’t setting the most positive course for the team. But you should still be the kind of person you’d want to work with. Before you start casting stones at others, make sure your team behavior is exemplary. Are you on time for all meetings? Do you complete your action items? Do you leave your ego at the door? Do you respect other peoples’ ideas and acknowledge their contributions? Do you attempt to build consensus?

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Can You Help Me, Please?

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Can You Help Me PleaseNature vs. Nurture — Leadership.

I have been pondering this ancient theme for some time and the evidence of its impact really came to light recently in Florida.

Let’s consider first for a moment if you will something equally ridiculous. The law of gravity (nature).

We could pass a law (nurture you), (if it is not already on the books somewhere), that prohibits you from falling. Now that would really be cool because you could no longer “fall down”. We have conquered gravity with the stroke of a pen! Imagine, no more being tripped-up, falling down stairs, or most importantly…no more huge masses of body’s during football games! Injuries would be in huge decline.

Now that law is as ridicules as the one that presented itself in the Florida “teenage bus beating” case a few weeks back. But when viewed through the prism of “nature vs nurture”, what did we really see?

I was involved caring for foster kids at point. To illustrate the nature vs nurture disorder I am drawn back to one particular situation that involved a set of three siblings we had for nearly two years.

There was a relative that lived down the street from us and to say the least the relationship was NOT “mutual”. They had a son (Matt) who was the same age as the oldest sibling (Joe) we were caring for at the time. For weeks on end Joe would come home frustrated because he was being bullied by Matt. I would talk with Joe and settle him down. To try and talk to Matt’s parents was futile at best. It went nowhere.

After about the fourth week and the frustration (nature) building in Joe and the attempts to get him to understand that we were (nurtured) not allowed to let them engage in any activity in which they may be harmed. The next day things come to a boil and the efforts to hold Joe back were failing badly. I took Joe aside…I said look, I understand the frustration (nature) you are dealing with. However, if it gets to the point that you must make a stand for yourself (nature), then you had better

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Best Laid Plans . . .

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Best laid Plans

Well…the week didn’t go so smooth.

Our Leader and Founder of Leadership Voices ventured away on vacation. He delegated authority while he was gone. He kindly asked me, his Number One, to keep an eye on things while he was away. As good leadership should do, he advised me that there were numerous hacking attempts on our site through our hosting provider. This was common but I believe it may have gotten more severe since I posted a rant on Anthony Weiner.

Sure enough, despite my best efforts I was unable to login to post my or any article much less assist anyone. I was locked out. And as a subordinate, I had no administrative access to the website. So I just let things ride…hoping no sordid ads or comments would post on Women’s Wednesday or Team Tuesday or Fatherhood Friday.

That is where the dilemma arose. Should I notify our leader or let him enjoy his vacation?

As a leader would you want to know if things were going awry or would you want to know once you returned?

Now I know our leader will weigh in on this…but I would like to know your thoughts.

Lastly, the world didn’t come to an end. No lives were lost because we didn’t post on our regular days. No animals were harmed because I felt the need to kick a dog in frustration. The blogosphere didn’t collapse. Life went on.

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Our Daughters Need Us to Balance Vision and Expectations – Week 6

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Needs - Week 6 - 3The “vision” that I am talking about has to do with the attitude that a father conveys about who he feels that his daughter is and what he feels that she can become.

All fathers have a vision of what potential is wrapped up in their young lives. And it is our job to cast a vision to their children about what they can become.

However, we must be careful because if we aren’t intentionally positive in the way we influence our children’s future, then we become overbearing and communicate disappointment in what they are or what they are becoming. And being negative or disappointed in your daughter’s present and future can be devastating.

So, what does a negative vision look like?

A negative vision can be downright demanding and demeaning. Negative vision sounds like:

“No kid of mine is going to come home with a report card with C-s on it. What’s wrong with you?”

“Why did you let that girl beat you at the last second?”

Negative vision can also be condemning:

“I know you were talking to that boyfriend on the phone. Why don’t you just tell me the truth? You’re turning into a liar!”

Or, it can be pessimistic and fatalistic:

“Don’t worry about doing well in math; boys are usually better at these subjects.”

On the other hand, a positive vision allows our daughters to see the good in their actions and their character.Needs - Week 6 - 2

So, what does a positive vision look like?

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Strategies for Conflict Resolution in a Team

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Strategy for Conflict Resolution in a Team - 1Leaders must know how to manage conflict with in their team.

Conflict and honest debate among team members can be helpful because it provides an opportunity for team members to see other perspectives on the issues at hand. However, if team conflict cannot be resolved, it can undermine team goals and harm the working relationship between team members. If you understand strategies for resolving conflicts with your team, your team will accomplish more. There are many things to consider here, but the few that I want to focus on are training, depersonalization, the type, the clarification and the resolution process. Finally, I offer a quick call for follow-up.

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Do it, ditch it, or delegate it

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Do it, ditch it or delegate it - 1Here is one of those great little maxims that I heard many years ago and I solemnly avowed and affirmed that I would live by it until my dying days.

But, as I look back on it and examine how well I adhered to that little maxim . . .  It seems like not so much.

The principle expressed in this pithy little statement is this.

When presented with a choice, a document, a task or a decision – handle it immediately in one of the following manners.

  1. Do it! — That sounds simple enough.  But procrastination is something that comes naturally to the human species.  This is especially true for those choices or tasks that have particularly unpleasant undertones.
  2. Ditch it! — This also sounds simple.  But many of us suffer from bouts of indecision.  We often times cannot make up our minds that this just isn’t important to the overall goals and therefore should be jettisoned for the more important tasks.
  3. Delegate it! — Another simple sounding thing.  For those of us who have a staff that we can actually delegate something to, we often choose to handle the task ourselves.

Do it, ditch it or delegate it - 3So, what are the leadership implications of this little phrase?

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Our Son Needs Us To Be A Control Point – Week 5

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Needs - Week 5 - 1Have you ever gone “Orienteering”? For those of you unfamiliar with Orienteering, I offer the following definition as found in Wikipedia:

Orienteering is a family of sports that requires navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain, and normally moving at speed. Participants are given a topographical map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points. Originally a training exercise in land navigation for military officers, orienteering has developed many variations. (Emphasis added by me.)

Ok, so what is a “Control Point”? I am glad you asked. Consider the following, also from Wikipedia:

A control point (CP, also control and checkpoint) is a marked waypoint used in orienteering and related sports such as rogaining and adventure racing. It is located in the competition area; marked both on an orienteering map and in the terrain; and described on a control description sheet. The control point must be identifiable on the map and on the ground. A control point has three components: a high visibility item, known as a flag or kite; an identifier, known as a control code; and a recording mechanism for contestants to record proof that they visited the control point.

OK, I could write for a week on the implications of the information above. But I will resist. Rather, I will stick to a specific application of the principle.  So, just what is the principle here?

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