Financier, Friend or Father — Part Two

Friend - JumpWe recently looked at the role that we play as a financier for the family.  And that role is important.  But consider part two of this three part series.

Friend – “Hey, who is your buddy?”

One of the other traps we fall into is the trap of trying to be a buddy or pal to our child rather than being their father.  And the reason we do is fairly obvious.  It is much easier to be a friend than it is to be a father.  And besides, who doesn’t want to be a pal or to have a pal?  The problem is

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Is Leadership Static or Dynamic?

Static vs DynamicI have been asked recently if my approach to selling or leading a sales team has changed due to my recent change in jobs and the new “products” that I am representing. As I thought about the question, I tried to apply it to LeadershipVoices and the following paragraphs are what my feeble mind has produced.

Based on what my collegiate creative writing professor claimed, a static person or character in a story or piece of literature is someone who never changes.  They stay the same. As I consider and compare that to leadership, I wonder if that is a good trait for a leader to have.

When I think of static, I think of

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Listening – A Secret to Leadership Growth

Talking into a Large EarOne of the top ways that a leader can grow is by listening.

Think of this as a follow up to my article that looked at whether leadership is a quiet or loud activity.

It is somewhat counter-intuitive. Leadership feels like it should be a speaking activity. But it advances well when it exercises a listening posture. That reality can be hard to accept. It feels like it ought to be the other way around. But then again, leading by “feelings” is rarely a good idea. A leadership position often makes us think that we should be doing most of the talking. Not true. Leadership positions make us think

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Careful! You might get what you ask for.

Escalator Going UpIt has been quite interesting watching the employees within organizations strive for what they feel, is a well deserved advancement within the company. I can think of at least five different situations where a great salesperson was intent upon becoming management – only to later discover that the advancement was confining and not in harmony with his skill sets or need to be publicly rewarded. An advancement in the hierarchy of the corporation does not always lead to an advancement in our level of job fulfillment, quality of life or even earnings.

It seems natural and logical in many ways to assume that corporate job growth is vertical. But in real life, our relational landscape is

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Financier, Friend or Father — Part One

Money TreeAs Dads, we have a lot of roles to play as part of our overall responsibility to the family.  This is especially true when it comes to the relationship that we have with our children.  In a brief three part series I plan to consider three particular roles that we play in our children’s lives.

Financier – “What am I made of?  Money?”

I think one of the things that is the hardest for us to understand early in the life of our family is understanding what level of importance to place on the role of money within the family.  And one of the traps that young fathers fall into is the trap of

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The Opportunity of Leadership

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 “Another time [Benaiah] chased a lion down into a pit.  Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it.”  2 Samuel 23

In scripture, we read of a valiant warrior turning the tables and chasing a lion into a pit, and, then killing the large feline.  Picture it in  your mind…maybe lace it with the cinema scope of a motion picture.  Benaiah notices the impression of lion prints in the snow.  The cold bites his lungs as air fills his chest with anticipation.  His muscles tighten and his eyes narrow as he spots the lion.  The lion growls and groans.  The lion’s ears are back and hair on its neck is twitching.

At this point, some folks would think this is a very bad thing.  Then there are others who would see the lion and think-

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Passenger Van

Passenger Van SeatsConsider for a moment that we are all on a journey and we are travelling in a van.  There is seat for everyone.  With this in mind, think about what seat you would choose to sit in if you could choose any seat that you wanted?  Would it be the driver’s seat,  the passenger’s seat, the middle seats, or the back seats?

The passenger’s seat would allow you to co-pilot the van, hold the map, and give guidance in reaching predetermined destinations.

The middle seats allow you to be surrounded by people so you can be the life of the party.  You have many opportunities to socialize with everyone.

The back seat allows you to be secluded to an extent.  No one is behind you and you can take it easy.  There is more time for observing and thinking while seated in the back.

The driver’s seat is

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Leaders, Who needs ’em?

three-stooges-pointing

Why do I need a leader? They just get in the way, I don’t need anyone telling me what to do, or leading me. I am the master of my own universe; I decide what I do, when I do and how I do it. If I want someone else’s opinion I will ask for it.

I spent 18 years trying to get away from my parents leadership, now I got cops, politicians, God and a boss setting rules, who needs another one. I follow my own rules, I follow my own path, I don’t need you.

I’ve read stories about great leaders like General Custer who LEAD his troops to a slaughter, and I have read in the Bible where it says in Luke chapter 22, verse 26: “…Let the greatest among you become the youngest and the leader as the one who serves, “ and didn’t Lot let his wife get turned into a pillar of salt? As I look around the world, it is full of

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Are you a Visionary?

Eyeglasses Proverbs 29_18Looking to the start of 2013 I find myself reflecting on a passage that you hear occasionally at this time of year.  Here is that often misquoted or misused scripture – “Where there is no vision, the people perish”.  It is found in the Old Testament in Proverbs 29:18.  It is used many times from the pulpit to exhort us to catch the vision that the pastor has seen and to press us onward to the destination seen in the vision.

But I submit to you that there is a BIG difference between being a visionary and being a leader.

A visionary is

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Why would someone want to be a leader?

Why be a leaderIt’s a question I find myself asking every now and then. Being a leader always comes with it added responsibility in some form or another. It brings added responsibility because everyone already has things they are responsible for in their life. Whether it is their rent or mortgage, grocery bills, school homework, parenthood responsibilities, job responsibilities, you name it. We all have them in some mix. But when a person is a leader, added responsibilities come along with it. With that comes added pressures, added stress, more hours most likely needed in order to get things done. So why would someone want to be a leader?

Is it a need to be important? Is it a need to be needed? Is it a need to be loved or desired? Is it a need to make a difference?  Is it a need to have a reason for one’s own existence in the world?

Looking back in my life, I’ve seen myself placed in various roles of leadership. Most of those times I didn’t want to be in the leadership role but I knew that if I didn’t do something then something I believed needed to be done would not be done. I think that’s probably one of the strongest reasons a person takes on a leadership role. A person’s own beliefs and convictions cause them to see the importance of acting on them when they believe the time to do so is at hand.

I don’t need to tell anyone who has held a leadership position of any kind about those added pressures.  And that those pressures can get to those who find themselves with the leadership role from time to time. After all, we are all only human. We all have our weaknesses. But not all of us allow those weaknesses to be an excuse for not leading. When the pressure of leadership causes a person to lose control of their emotions, and get angry or upset, it can derail whatever the person is attempting to do. When this topic came to me, I checked out Kevin’s favorite book, Donald Phillip’s “Lincoln on Leadership”, in it I found this:

“The plain fact of the matter is that, for any person to successfully lead others, he or she must deal with the reality and be ready to accept the fact that leadership at times can bring out the worst in us. And understanding, as well as coming to grips with the darker side of your personality, is key to dealing with real-life situations.”

I think as human beings that are meant to interact with others, leaders must accomplish the puzzling task of managing their darker side. The book said whenever Lincoln found himself getting angry or upset at someone, he would write that person a very scolding letter outlining the nerve the other person had in doing whatever it was that upset him. He would lay out everything that was on his mind about that person at the moment within the letter. When he finished the letter, he proceeded to place it in an envelope for mailing. After he sealed the letter, he wrote on the back “Not sent”. He felt better for having released his negative feelings, but probably realized that chewing a person out would not serve any real purpose.

While doing some surfing on the internet, looking for content about this subject, I stumbled on this and it felt like it was pertinent, “Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership” written by Kent M. Keith back in 1968 (The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council) for high school student leaders.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

The world is full of violence, injustice, starvation, disease, and environmental destruction.

Have faith anyway.

 

Do you know of anyone who you would consider to be a good or even great leader? Why do you believe they are?

If you see yourself wanting to be a leader, what has been your desire for leadership?